The world of a woman.

[VladimirIlyich]

Oh god, my Internet dating was a complete disaster. One bird had a no snogging on a first date rule. Fine, except she seemed to have no problems getting her jugs out and sleeping in my bed with me. Never heard from her again. The next one turned out to be a transgender racist.

You should have enforced your 'no sleeping in my bed unless you want to be fucked' rule.

[RoboRiise]

Oh god, my Internet dating was a complete disaster. One bird had a no snogging on a first date rule. Fine, except she seemed to have no problems getting her jugs out and sleeping in my bed with me. Never heard from her again. The next one turned out to be a transgender racist.

 

 

fucking hell. my mate went on an Internet date. He got pissed went back to hers. When she took her clothes off he couldn't do it she was too fat.

She then said it was her dad's house, he was on nights and she couldn't be on her own and locked him in. He tried get out she wouldn't let him so he covered himself in towels and threatened jump out her window and say she was holding him hostage.

She let him out.

 

*deletes plentyoffish profile*

 

[Remmie]

Haha it was on Plenty of fish as well. 

 

Compare with my cousin, he paid for 6 months with Match after coming out of a long term relationship. Within 3 weeks he me his now wife, who is really sound, pretty and a Doctor. He reasoned that he'd meet a classier standard of lady on match and he turned out to be right.

[Remmie]

You should have enforced your 'no sleeping in my bed unless you want to be fucked' rule.

Comes across a bit rapey on the first date.

[VladimirIlyich]

Comes across a bit rapey on the first date.

Sleeping in the same bed with her jugs out sort of lessens the rapey part in my book.

[PestiRed]

Read the last page or so. Went and gave my missus a kiss for not being a psycho

[Hand Shandy]

And now she thinks you want something...

[Trumo]

Hold on, TRANSGENDER RACIST ???

 

Remmie's pigs can attract the wrong sort of person sometimes, as evidenced by this and the "can I kiss your penis" bloke on holiday. The signals do work properly sometimes though, as evidenced by his now spouse.

[Creator Supreme]

Hang on, the "can I kiss your penis bloke"?? Fucking hell!!

[Acid]

 

 

The first time I ever went travelling on my own was to Italy, after the 2006 World cup where I'd spent 3 weeks in Germany with 2 friends. The first new friends I made were a Brazilian guy and a Mexican guy sharing my dorm at a Hostel. I knew the area having travelled there before, Genoa. I recommended going to one of the most amazing places I've ever been - Cinqueterra. Ideally you take a bird there - really scenic and beautiful - 5 villages cut into a cliff face and you can write your names in a section of a walk called Lovers Lane. Nonetheless it was still a great place to go so off we were to set out in the morning.

The next day Mexican went off somewhere else with friends never to be seen again. Went with Brazilian fella and spent a nice day in the scorching sun in Cinqueterra. A few odd things came up in conversation, but I put it all down to cultural differences. He was a very generous guy and bought me loads of drinks and offered to pay for a hotel in Cinqueterra instead of the hostel. I politely rebuffed his offer as I prefer hostels and it was a bit of a backwater to get to and from for my journey. We went swimming and afterwards he was complaining about his shorts chaffing and next time we should skinny dip. I said I don't think that's appropriate in Italy, there are kids about. He said it's ok we'll go somewhere secluded. We didn't go somewhere secluded.

Fast forward and we get back to the hostel, the previous night had been full but this night only me and him. Fucking hot so in bed in my boxers, he is butt naked under his sheet and chooses this time to say: The reason I do not have girlfriend is I like Men. Ideally I'd have a man and a woman at the same time.

With brilliant tact I reposte ideally I'd have 2 women at once. He woke me up at 5.30am looking at me like no man has ever and hopefully never will look at me again and then said.....


Can I Kiss your Penis?


I said no. He rolled over and I saw his shoulder going like a Jackhammer. Yes, he was having a wank.

No I didn't get the 1 billion clues he gave me, well I got the one about fucking men and wanting to kiss my penis, but none before that.

End.

 

Post number 6 - http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/96908-remmiell-help-remmie-never-sleeps/&do=findComment&comment=2941343

[Chairman Meow]

Hang on, the "can I kiss your penis bloke"?? Fucking hell!!

 

This is one of the best of Remmies many epic tales of epicness.

 

pof is a bit odd. I had a date from there about a month ago, clearly didn't want to be there from the moment she arrived. However being a gent I still offered a lift home, massively quiet and awkward journey then she suddenly came out with "do you want a blowjob". Needless to say I said yes. 

[Creator Supreme]

This thread is epic :)

[Dr Nowt]

This is one of the best of Remmies many epic tales of epicness.

 

pof is a bit odd. I had a date from there about a month ago, clearly didn't want to be there from the moment she arrived. However being a gent I still offered a lift home, massively quiet and awkward journey then she suddenly came out with "do you want a blowjob". Needless to say I said yes. 

 

Sounds like you've just had a blowjob from an extremely damaged person.

 

Lucky bastard.

[VladimirIlyich]

This is one of the best of Remmies many epic tales of epicness.

 

pof is a bit odd. I had a date from there about a month ago, clearly didn't want to be there from the moment she arrived. However being a gent I still offered a lift home, massively quiet and awkward journey then she suddenly came out with "do you want a blowjob". Needless to say I said yes.

I would put this as a review on their site if I were they.

[Chairman Meow]

Sounds like you've just had a blowjob from an extremely damaged person.

 

Lucky bastard.

 

The best kind. As long as they don't find out where you live, or even worse become your wife like davelfcs shed dwelling loon.

[Dr Nowt]

The best kind. As long as they don't find out where you live, or even worse become your wife like davelfcs shed dwelling loon.

 

Nowt like a broken biscuit.

[Captain Turdseye]

When I first moved in with Mrs Turdseye she used to moan about me laughing out loud all the time when reading this forum. Then when she'd ask what I was laughing at I'd say "Just something on here, you won't laugh because you haven't read it all". Also had her tell me once that she didn't understand how I could spend so much time talking to people I didn't know.

 

Fast forward two and a half years and she's now an established poster on some mum and baby forum. She's been sending Christmas cards all over the country, plus parcels of old baby clothes and stuff.

 

That's all fair enough but she keeps inviting me to read the shit threads that they have and I'm not fucking interested. I didn't push any AC Slatering, Aintree slags or rough pubs onto her so why should I have to read about how Sandra from Harrogate's husband is sleeping in the spare room because she won't let him throw it up her arse?

 

She told me proudly last week that she was voted the best newcomer of the year. I just shrugged and thought to myself that she wouldn't look so smug if I'd told her about the 'Worst dressed wool' award I won on here a couple of years back.

[RJ Fan club]

When I first moved in with Mrs Turdseye she used to moan about me laughing out loud all the time when reading this forum. Then when she'd ask what I was laughing at I'd say "Just something on here, you won't laugh because you haven't read it all". Also had her tell me once that she didn't understand how I could spend so much time talking to people I didn't know.

 

Fast forward two and a half years and she's now an established poster on some mum and baby forum. She's been sending Christmas cards all over the country, plus parcels of old baby clothes and stuff.

 

That's all fair enough but she keeps inviting me to read the shit threads that they have and I'm not fucking interested. I didn't push any AC Slatering, Aintree slags or rough pubs onto her so why should I have to read about how Sandra from Harrogate's husband is sleeping in the spare room because she won't let him throw it up her arse?

 

She told me proudly last week that she was voted the best newcomer of the year. I just shrugged and thought to myself that she wouldn't look so smug if I'd told her about the 'Worst dressed wool' award I won on here a couple of years back.

You can't compare awards. She tried for hers, yours came 'natural'.

 

Or did you mean she would be impressed as she bought you the cargo Kecks?

 

Btw, link me to the thread about Sandra not giving up her sphincter in Harrogate, sounds boss. We could invade

[Dr Nowt]

Btw, link me to the thread about Sandra not giving up her sphincter in Harrogate, sounds boss. We could invade

 

Could post something on the thread as well.

[RJ Fan club]

Could post something on the thread as well.

Each to their own. I'll stick to burstin

[stringvest]

When I first moved in with Mrs Turdseye she used to moan about me laughing out loud all the time when reading this forum. Then when she'd ask what I was laughing at I'd say "Just something on here, you won't laugh because you haven't read it all". Also had her tell me once that she didn't understand how I could spend so much time talking to people I didn't know.

 

Fast forward two and a half years and she's now an established poster on some mum and baby forum. She's been sending Christmas cards all over the country, plus parcels of old baby clothes and stuff.

 

That's all fair enough but she keeps inviting me to read the shit threads that they have and I'm not fucking interested. I didn't push any AC Slatering, Aintree slags or rough pubs onto her so why should I have to read about how Sandra from Harrogate's husband is sleeping in the spare room because she won't let him throw it up her arse?

 

She told me proudly last week that she was voted the best newcomer of the year. I just shrugged and thought to myself that she wouldn't look so smug if I'd told her about the 'Worst dressed wool' award I won on here a couple of years back.

 

haha! you won it in 2014 as well Turdsy.  If you win it this year you get to keep the trophy.  

 

It's made of denim.  

[Carvalho Diablo]

Read the last page or so. Went and gave my missus a kiss for not being a psycho

 

Or a bloke ?

[Remmie]

Is Moof a wool? There may be some competition...

[moof]

Technically, yes.

[sir roger]

The Mrs reading habits are a bit odd. She reckons she can only read books when she is on holiday as it is the only time she is totally relaxed.

 

Seems odd to me but fair enough I felt & then we went away in October & she started reading a book midweek & on the plane home & got to within 20 pages of the end. I asked her a day or two later how it had ended & she said that she had no idea & couldn't be bothered finishing it now she was home.

 

How could you read 400 odd pages and not be overwhelmingly curious about the last tiny bit ?