dave u

Just back from interviewing Carra for the summer issue of the fanzine. Some great stuff from him, as always. The rest of it is more or less finished, so as soon as I've typed up the interview it's going to print and will be available soon. You can order your copy online now, and if there's any left over after the online sales I'll sell them outside Anfield at the first few home games.

Autocorrect got me with Zaha. As for Suarez, his team-mates have always loved him. That would be the least of my worries. He wouldn't come back thinking he's 'the man' either as he'd be walking into a club that are Champions of Europe and who spanked him and Barca. He probably wouldn't like being subbed or not starting every game, but he's getting older now so if he wants to stay at the top level he'd better get used to a bit of rotation. It won't happen for a variety of reasons, not least I don't see the club spending on a player of his age unless it was on a free like Milner was.

Saw a video of one of those contests the other day. The fella who won ate about 70 or something. The contestants weren't even fat, it was bizarre. Not sure how a stomach can hold that much unless you're a big thirty stoner.

Hahahaha!

Sophie Turner makes me cringe any time I see her speak. She's on a par with Jesse Lingard. Just excrutiating to watch.

That would need to be included in any contract. Almost goes without saying.

As inevitable as me loving the Bewitched Barca remix!

That Messi sending off has angered me no end. How the fuck can he be red carded for that, and where is VAR? That's absolutely fucking outrageous. If he'd thrown himself to the floor he'd have stayed on. He stands his ground, doesn't react, and gets a red. Basically he's been sent off there because he moaned about the ref when they got beat by Brazil.

Can't decide what I love more. The amazing Arabic commentary or the sensational Bewitched cover. Both magnificent.

I thought there was. I defo wrote that recently, although it might have been in a piece for the summer issue of the fanzine.

Not really worried about Alisson so much. A few weeks off should sort him out as his fatigue will be mental rather than physical. It's the tired legs of the forward lads that concerns me as they've played solidly for two years now with virtually no break. We've been lucky so far with them not getting injured much, but this year it could catch up with them (and us).

Could be. That might explain him having a face like a smacked arse early in the season.

I did. Because virtually every performance is the same. No real peaks or troughs, no particularly memorable performances for good or bad reasons. He's just relentlessly consistent without being flashy.

This Warda fella seems like a right fucking charmer. Jeez. You can be very hurtful sometimes. Definitely an age thing. When people get to your age they don't give a fuck and say whatever they like. Proper mean old bastard you are. Hope I'm not like you when I'm 60.