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Welcome to the new and improved TLW!

 

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Thanks

Dave

Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

Season Ticket Holder
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Everything posted by Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

  1. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Vertigo

    Had it off and on for years now, it’s like when you lie down horribly arseholed and the room swims. Sometimes get it in patches each day, sometimes non-stop. Been bed-ridden with it a few times, and once got out my car outside an ex’s work to pick her up, next thing I knew was lying on my side with everyone she works with staring out the window at me. Its been terrible lately so eventually went the doctors about it. Lame though it sounds, may be down to the current pollen bomb if you’ve had any other extreme hay-fever symptoms, as allergic reactions can affect the vestibular system...congestion and swelling behind the ear drums and/or blocked eustachian tubes often causing dizziness and nausea. That’s what mine’s been attributed to this time. Prescribed maximal anti-histamine and steam baths, which quickly coincided with it clearing after weeks. I’ve been hammering the olbas oil as well. Previous instances have been put down to rare side effects of a particular IV drug and compressed disks in the neck due to persistent heavy coughing. Drug change for the former, osteopath for the latter. Its. A. Cunt. Genuinely disabling.
  2. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Summer 2019 Transfer Thread

    Wouldn’t be too surprised if we buy someone for the number 10 role who can interchange with the front 3 positions as required, rather than a separate signing for each.
  3. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    The only thing on a par with how much the bitters overrate their players is when the police report a kilo of cocaine and an ounce of weed as having a street value of £100,000.
  4. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

    Rodgers has been saying how Europa next season may come a bit soon for them and having a proper summer doing coaching and fitness work would be great. Inspiring stuff from our pov.
  5. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Wasp...

    Is there a source of greater tension than only spotting a giant wasp once you’re on the shithouse, dropping mud.
  6. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Wasp...

    Just had life or death with one the size of a fucking humbug at my Mum’s. In a bathroom with a faulty venetian I was forlornly trying to bring all the way down as a cage, to usher it out the window. A window I’d opened through said blind, despite it angrily coming for me from a hidden vantage point, with genocide in its eyes. Basically that tarantula scene in Dr No, but with a wasp and greater heroism.
  7. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

    Yet more delays to the sort of modernising they need. https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e85032e8-b881-4eb4-bb1e-8f4e964b45f7
  8. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Warnock: I don't think Salah could get much higher off the diving board

    Just jealous Mo’s got eyebrows.
  9. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Intellectual Dark Web

    A pathetic inadequate in full.
  10. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Boxing 2019

    Mind you, booze doesn’t have the cleanest record where helping people make a show of themselves is concerned.
  11. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    They never, ever, ever learn.
  12. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    That’s funny and all, but what if JP has a brother who supports United?
  13. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

    Watching them desperately flail about like this is wonderful. If they could just accidentally poke City’s fucking eye out while they do so, that would be lovely. Cheers, the universe.
  14. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Cardiff (A) Premier League 21/4/19

  15. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Someone's having a real laugh - sperm of gollum to Utd.

    Has De Gea taken root or something? Doesn't look like a goalkeeper anymore.
  16. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    James Milner; £165,000 P/W

    Says it all about who he is that Souness just told a story of how an 18 year old Milner sought him out and pulled him on saying he’d never win anything with a team of James Milners. What a man he is, what a pro and what a class player. Be an absolute travesty if he were to leave the club without silverware here.
  17. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Cardiff (A) Premier League 21/4/19

    Mo’s running along with an octopus on him there but that wasn’t a penalty, amirite?
  18. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Cardiff (A) Premier League 21/4/19

    Someone’s been at the Easter eggs.
  19. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Jordan henderson: Captain

    #uwotm8
  20. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Cardiff (A) Premier League 21/4/19

    Good to see Warnock being interviewed there.
  21. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Bin that stuff mate, to this day I won't have a candy fridge and wouldn't even paint my toilet with crown paints...etc They will definitely be saying boo-urns.
  22. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Other Football - 2018/19 Season

    Vast majority of football one-upmanship is carried out by the terminally witless though, isn’t it.
  23. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    Roy Hodgson, know your role and shut your mouth

    Firstly I love how they got a shit voice-a-like to read his statement, and secondly I forgot Le Saux mimicked the same gesture to the referee. Never laughed at Fowler doing it, but seeing Le Saux do it while squealing on him did make me chuckle I must admit.
  24. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Fred Flinstone has a more modern home than Everton.
  25. Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    More inpatient than impatient.
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