Simbo

A Tammy Abraham / Patrick Bamford strike partnership….firing us straight to The Championship.

Another cracker…. I colleague of mine was searching someone’s luggage at the airport I work at. Found a ‘microphone’ and proceeded to get it out of the bag and started pretending to sing into it. She went bright red when I pointed out it was the poor girls dildo.

Was at my cousins wedding and the best man stood up to give his speech. All he said was: “Any stories I come up with would only incriminate me too, so…..to the bride and groom” And then sat down. There was a stoney silence for 30 seconds or so. Awful.

Ummm hello?! Standard rule: No filling = refrigerated Filling = room temperature

The Melomania 1s sound great. However I have small ear canals and they kept getting pushed out so I had to return them. In the end I went for Sennheiser CX 400BTs and they sound awesome and fit my ears perfectly. I can also recommend getting some Comply foam tips. They make a much more secure fit in your ears and also enhance the sound as they almost completely block out any ambient sound.

One of those big sharing whats??

A group of friends and I broke into the Millenium Dome on the eve of the grand opening. My ass was twitching a bit when what can only be described as a SWAT team rushed in to escort us out. EDIT: Not after we’d spent about 30 mins in there though and watched some rehearsals etc. Was also lucky that the SWAT team managed to miss a gigantic bag of weed whilst searching my car.

Why has he tucked his ears inside the cap? When Everton touch you….

Not feeling this at all. Has never lived up to the initial hype and his injury record looks worrying too. Clearly better at carrying the ball forward but is he really that different to Oxlade-Chamberlain? Not sure we need both of them in the squad.

Shite Twitter rumours that we’ve agreed a fee for Neuhaus.

Hahahaha! Clearly meant to be a ‘sexy’ video for her OnlyFans page but still reaches around to give her asshole a quick clean. In stitches here.

He was making a run to receive a throw in and just collapsed to the floor.

Where are you seeing that rumour? Admittedly I’ve only seen YouTube compilations but he looks like a real prospect.

Please stop with the Bamford talk. He’s nowhere near good enough for us.

An awful midfielder? His best form undoubtedly came when Jurgen started playing him more centrally.