Captain Turdseye

Griezmann with an injury time winner. Twats.

This picture just came on the TV and Turdsette’s first instinct was to ask “Are they gay?”

It’s back! First squirrel I’ve ever had knocking on the door and now he won’t fucking leave me alone.

It’s foggy as fuck by mine today. Just had a squirrel scratching at the patio doors trying to get in. It stood looking at me as if to say “let me in, you twat, it’s freezing out here.” Then in a brave final attempt to make it inside it launched itself headfirst into the glass before giving up and running off.

Pickford again against Newcastle as well. Their fans must buzz off him as much as we do.

Has anyone told him that playing in goal is not meant to be taken literally?

Roses rep. Made me laugh on Sunday when he said that he was confident of United getting a result until the players came out for the warm-up wearing “stupid little hats”

If he leaves Barcelona imagine how much his weekly wage will be... ...in China.

Tactical what now?

Eurgh. Not another one.

Start a blog.

This is great. Carry on.

When we hit it long we’re favourites to win the second ball anyway. Our lads just want it more than anyone else. And when we don’t win the second ball we’re immediately pressing in the oppo’s half. What a team.

Was Ole at the wheel?

We’re maybe not fucking shite.