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Captain Turdseye

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Captain Turdseye last won the day on January 21

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About Captain Turdseye

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    100 Carrot Cunt
  • Birthday 29/06/1988

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  1. Captain Turdseye

    Other Football - 2019/20

    Griezmann with an injury time winner. Twats.
  2. This picture just came on the TV and Turdsette’s first instinct was to ask “Are they gay?”
  3. Captain Turdseye

    The weather

    It’s back! First squirrel I’ve ever had knocking on the door and now he won’t fucking leave me alone.
  4. Captain Turdseye

    The weather

    It’s foggy as fuck by mine today. Just had a squirrel scratching at the patio doors trying to get in. It stood looking at me as if to say “let me in, you twat, it’s freezing out here.” Then in a brave final attempt to make it inside it launched itself headfirst into the glass before giving up and running off.
  5. Captain Turdseye

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Pickford again against Newcastle as well. Their fans must buzz off him as much as we do.
  6. Captain Turdseye

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Has anyone told him that playing in goal is not meant to be taken literally?
  7. Captain Turdseye

    Man Utd (H) Premier League - 19/1/20

    Roses rep. Made me laugh on Sunday when he said that he was confident of United getting a result until the players came out for the warm-up wearing “stupid little hats”
  8. If he leaves Barcelona imagine how much his weekly wage will be... ...in China.
  9. Captain Turdseye

    Liverpool 2 Manchester United 0 (Jan 19 2020)

    When we hit it long we’re favourites to win the second ball anyway. Our lads just want it more than anyone else. And when we don’t win the second ball we’re immediately pressing in the oppo’s half. What a team.
  10. Captain Turdseye

    Man Utd (H) Premier League - 19/1/20

    Was Ole at the wheel?
  11. Captain Turdseye

    The New Cricket Thread

    We’re maybe not fucking shite.