Captain Turdseye

Overheard Mrs Turdseye telling Turdsette that there’s a song named ‘Town Called Alice’.

I’d make damn sure that the McDonalds on Church Street is never again closed to the public.

Dishwasher and hoover have both gone kaput just now, right after one another. FUCK OFF.

More likely to be a mass shooting than just one person being killed.

Wahey. Just ordered. Nice one.

Underway this morning at Royal Portrush. There’s been a lot of talk about it being Rory McIlroy’s home course and he started today by playing the first hole four over par. He’s currently +5 after three holes.

Some talk on Twitter that Dave and the rest of TLW writing team are raising membership prices here to compete with these new kids on the block.

Do they have to flounce from that forum if they somehow end up getting laid? That probably results in those people regularly flouncing from other forums too.

Clever advertising on that site.

Also FAO @Tony Moanero. I saw this in the shop the other day and thought of you. A magazine full of retro shite!

Repped for tagging the thread.

Maybe you could meet me at a certain promenade in the south of the city and we can end this with you getting beat up by a man wearing a child’s 2014/15 home shirt with Coutinho’s name on the back.

We need RAWK to write a poem about him which will leave him no option but to come crawling back.

It’s been five minutes and still no reply from Shooter. PATHETIC.

Suck on that. How many players have you got over the line for us, eh? None? That’s what I thought.