Captain Turdseye

Bring him home, Jurgen.

I am appalled. Shocked and appalled.

I’ll make £25 if Spieth gets a top five finish. I could do with Schaffelle falling away and making 6th, 7th, 8th or 9th place his own because I’ll be on for another £90 then. Plenty of interest in the final groups anyway. Is it gonna be on the BBC tomorrow? It’d be nice to get away from the relentless ad breaks on Sky.

You think disabled people are funny, do you? Fucking hell.

So, 4 shot lead going into the last round. Matsuyama just has to hold it together. 12 under will be enough I reckon.

Usher’s man could be in the final pairing if he gets a birdie at the last here. Just missed.

He’s trying his best to throw shots away. In trouble off the tee at every hole.

Matsuyama is dialled in.

I went to the tip last week when it was nice out and the three fellas in their 50’s working there had that song blasting out of a stereo. Made me laugh and then made me think that I’m getting old. Little did I know that would be the last time I would be getting rid of an ironing board and a load of cardboard while DMX was still with us. Fitting tribute to Prince Philip from D and the boys here...

Nice little holiday for Vargas there.

Will you woofters give it a fucking rest. Hang on a minute. DMX is dead? That’s genuinely more upsetting news than His Royal Highness tragically passing away. Who is she?

An hour wait.

Got the winner. Hit the extra place with the one paying the least. £25. Sod’s law. Better than previous years anyway!

£10 win on Minella Times 5 £1 wins on rank outsiders. £1 e/w bets for her and the kids. Backed and laid 10 separate horses hoping to hit the extra places. Possible winnings ranging from £25 up to £400. As usual I’ll end up with fuck all.

Think your stream might be a couple of seconds behind.