The world of a woman.

[Furmedge]

Haha, when I say a solid 5 hours I'm not including being kicked in the back by a 3 year old running into the room at 2am to get comfy, or the vast number of pisses I need to go for due to getting older.

[lifetime fan]

It's amazing how they're a fucking expert at everything.

 

All of a sudden she knows how I need to rent the flat, knows I need to spend a load of money on it for tenants as they respect a nice place, knows how to strip wallpaper, knows how to cut in and paint, knows where the cheapest carpet for scruffy cunts to ruin is.

 

Anyone would think she's a plasterer, painter & decorator and property mogul all rolled into one.

 

In fact she bought a place with her ex, did fuck all to it and made a shit load of cash.

 

So...

 

Her: I'll take the dog out from under your feet and order us a take away as you've filled the lounge and bedroom with too much crap.

 

Me: you mean the crap from bathroom and kitchen I'm in the middle of decorating.

 

Her: have you not finished them?

 

 

I'm out walking Milo with a couple of tins.

[Champ]

And sometimes you cant do right for doing wrong.

 

There was a discussion on here recently about women always looking to find jobs for their men and not allowing them to do their own thing or just nothing.

 

We were talking about my Mum and Dad the other night...she is exactly one of these types and I say, 'I'm not like that with you, am I?'

'No', he says and I'm thinking thats brownie points for me, 'but I wish you would. I like being given things to do when I'm in the house.' Really?

 

Hmmm...I wonder how long that would last

[lifetime fan]

And sometimes you cant do right for doing wrong.

 

There was a discussion on here recently about women always looking to find jobs for their men and not allowing them to do their own thing or just nothing.

 

We were talking about my Mum and Dad the other night...she is exactly one of these types and I say, 'I'm not like that with you, am I?'

'No', he says and I'm thinking thats brownie points for me, 'but I wish you would. I like being given things to do when I'm in the house.' Really?

 

Hmmm...I wonder how long that would last

Sorry Cath I've not bothered reading that as I know you're completely wrong.

[Champ]

Sorry Cath I've not bothered reading that as I know you're completely wrong.

It wasn't about me

[lifetime fan]

You're still wrong.

[lifetime fan]

She's just shouted out, I've found a fire place.

 

I told her to do fuck all.

 

 

[Champ]

You're still wrong.

I thought you weren't reading my posts?

[Champ]

She's just shouted out, I've found a fire place.

 

I told her to do fuck all.

 

 

Where do you find them? And I'm not talking fireplaces

[lifetime fan]

She's going in the fireplace!

[littletedwest]

I get up at 5am for work. She's off on maternity and our kids are good sleepers so some days she doesn't have to get up until 7.30am-8am, getting almost 3 hours sleep on me a night. That's a potential 21 hours extra sleep a week! But when I'm going to bed around 10.30pm it's at that point she'll want to tell me about her fears about going back to work or the quality of the kids new school and regularly sheds tears over it. Not at 6pm when we're eating. Not at 7pm when her soaps start. Not even at 9am when there's fuck all on the telly. No, right before I'm going to bed, so I have to listen to her whine on because if I don't I'll be a callous twat who doesn't want to know about her/the kids. So I go to bed around 11.30pm and have a solid just over 5 hours sleep a night.

Yep, get home from work and she talks less than harpo Marx. Moment I wanna go sleep she needs sedating she talks that much. She also remembers jobs that need doing to aid my slumber

[Unrighteous]

Yep, get home from work and she talks less than harpo Marx. Moment I wanna go sleep she needs sedating she talks that much. She also remembers jobs that need doing to aid my slumber

 

Ugh.  My ex used to wake me up, in the middle of the night, to have 'talks' and arguments.  I'd wake up being shouted at, and not even know what the fuck is going on.   

[Nunavut Patrick]

Ugh.  My ex used to wake me up, in the middle of the night, to have 'talks' and arguments.  I'd wake up being shouted at, and not even know what the fuck is going on.

 

Haha....I Once rolled over in bed and said 'whatever' after some trivial argument and got kicked full force with two feet and was sent flying out of the bed....apparently turning my back on her was disrespectful....i actually thought I was lucky not to ne paralyzed she booted me so hard.

 

I also remember the make up sex was insane.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Looking back, she was fucking cakenuts.

 

Jesus, what was I thinking?

[Rico1304]

My mate and his wife are always rowing, she then doesn't speak to him for days. When they eat together he calls it 'deaf and dumb teas'.

[A Red]

There must be something about the name Pat.

 

My ex wife would stay up all night shouting and screaming, hit me when i was asleep, wake the kids up to tell them how much of a bastard I was (they were usually awake anyway) and threaten to call my boss in the morning to tell her what a bastard i was. That was the good stuff.

 

She lives in a hostel now.

 

Ah well, nothing like cheery thoughts to start a weekend! 

[littletedwest]

Haha....I Once rolled over in bed and said 'whatever' after some trivial argument and got kicked full force with two feet and was sent flying out of the bed....apparently turning my back on her was disrespectful....i actually thought I was lucky not to ne paralyzed she booted me so hard.

I also remember the make up sex was insane.

i was once perving on this girls Facebook pictures. It was a girl who was mates with her daughter (in her 20's though at time).

I accidentally clicked like and didn't realise on my phone.

 

That night I was having a shave when it must of come up on her Facebook feed, she want ape shit. tried say I was looking at her profile picture and did it on accident except the picture was of this girl at an Anne summers party holding a dildo.

 

She tried punch me missed and i had stop her falling downstairs.

 

She laughs about it now

[Carvalho Diablo]

Piss on her hair.

[Trumo]

Piss on her hair.

 

[Chairman Meow]

Piss on her hair.

 

The age old Hartlepool mating ritual. 

[dickie mint]

My mate and his wife are always rowing, she then doesn't speak to him for days. When they eat together he calls it 'deaf and dumb teas'.

 

The lucky bastard.

[Bjornebye]

Im sat watching frozen planet hungover and she is on the macbook. "Whats this balloon door?"

 

Me "what?"

 

Her "this balloon door everyones banging on about"

 

Me "i dont know ive never heard of it"

 

Her "i thought you were a football fan"

 

Me "its ballon d'or you fucking retard"

 

Her "do you wish i had a body like ronaldos ex girlfriend?"

 

Me "i wish you were his ex"

 

A chicken wing wizzed past my head and now she has a cob on. Fuck sake I was sat happily in silence now its like the fucking cold war in here

[Scott_M]

To be fair, although we'd all think nothing of it, it was a stupid response designed to antagonise.

[RoboRiise]

Haha....I Once rolled over in bed and said 'whatever' after some trivial argument and got kicked full force with two feet and was sent flying out of the bed....apparently turning my back on her was disrespectful....i actually thought I was lucky not to ne paralyzed she booted me so hard.

 

I also remember the make up sex was insane.

 

Bloke does that, it's domestic violence.  Every bird she knows is round in her ear giving it 'stand up for yourself sister, take him for everything he's got' and all that shit, next thing you know you're in magistrates court and getting a divorce.

 

Woman does it, bloke is supposed to chuckle and maybe buy her something to apologise for getting her angry enough to lash out.

 

Fuck that shit.  I can't believe any of you have stayed with them after they start getting fighty, girl kicks me with both feet and knocks me out of bed she's going to be spending the rest of the night picking her shit up off the lawn and finding somewhere to live.

 

 

 

To be fair, although we'd all think nothing of it, it was a stupid response designed to antagonise.

 

Should have said 'nah I wish I was his ex' that would have fucked with her.

[Trumo]

A chicken wing wizzed past my head and now she has a cob on. Fuck sake I was sat happily in silence now its like the fucking cold war in here