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YorkshireRed

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YorkshireRed last won the day on June 17 2023

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  1. Chessington World of Adventures, resort hotel. Working here this week. I’m already a bit miffed as there’s loads of teenagers stopping here this week. I think they’re on some kind of school trip. Anyway, the boisterous cunts were rampaging up and down the corridors until gone 9.00 pm last night. I usually stay in the Premier Inn, round the corner, but thought I’d just stay here this time. All I can say about the breakfast is that the one in the Premier Inn is better. 4/10 (point lost as I’m sat looking over towards where the giraffes live and the lazy, lanky, fuckers are still in bed.
  2. Any day where we tip a glass towards Patrick Berger is ok by me.
  3. People who use the ‘pay at the pump’ spaces at the petrol station, when the non pay at the pump ones are free, then still go into the shop to pay.
  4. One of my best mate’s wife likes to declare her interest in other women once she’s had half a shandy. Not sure she’s ever acted upon it, but she’s often told me how much she fancies my wife. I sometimes think I should encourage this relationship in order to be free from the wife’s weekly demand that I take the bins out.
  5. I consider the GF to be my ‘go to’ place for information on everybody and everything. It also provides advice as to how life should be lived in the modern world. Advice I’ve followed to the letter. Upon my release from prison I shall continue to tread this excellent path by buying a monkey and arming it with a knife.
  6. I’d consider telling your bird that you have another bird, a liver variety, that will be requiring your attention on those dates. I’d then ready yourself for single life, and for nursing a black eye for calling your missus a bird.
  7. You could give her the answer she wants and it still won’t be good enough. Even if it’s precisely where said V5 is. You won’t have answered with the appropriate tone and/or body language. You won’t have answered quickly and/or loudly enough. You didn’t just go and get it for her. If you did it won’t have been the V5 she wanted, it would have been something else and “it’s typical of you for not knowing that as you never listen to me”.
  8. Gallopin des Champs with my own money. £2.50 e/w on Jungle Boogie with the William Hill £5 free bet.
  9. Massively. It is definitely beatable but I wouldn’t be surprised if she held on. There’s a lot of racists/xenophobes/flag shaggers/idiots/clowns/selfish cunts in these parts. I know a few who voted ‘for Boris’ last time, who’d never voted Tory before, who now know they’ve had their pants pulled down and won’t be doing that again. Loads of others though who are doubling down, or sprouting the “they’re all the same” nonsense.
  10. 11,267. She’s held the seat since 2015 when she defeated Ed Balls.
  11. With any luck I can play my part in booting her out soon enough. It might be close though, I’ll need to make sure the wife doesn’t vote green, at least in this GE. Her hatred of Andrea Jenkyns should ensure my argument wins the day, however as it’s my argument it could just as well lose the day. I’ll need to tread carefully.
  12. We used to go ‘borrowing’ empty beer crates, then transport them via National Express to Anfield. Queued up outside, then onto the centre of the Kop as soon as the turnstiles opened. Positioned ourselves in front of a barrier and stood on the crates so we could get a decent spec, whilst being ‘in amongst it. It was magical. As time passed, we moved to the top left hand corner of the Kop then, once the seats came, to the Upper Centenary. These days the idea of actually going to a match rarely appeals. Modern football is a bollocks and I’m a miserable ageing cunt. It’s not a marriage made in heaven. I’d still shag it on the side on occasion mind. Barcelona would have been great, one or two others as well.
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