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About YorkshireRed

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  1. YorkshireRed

    Grace Kelly

    This is a particularly nice photograph of one of the most effortlessly beautiful women I’ve ever seen.
  2. YorkshireRed

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    Did a shop a while back. Felt like being socially responsible so added some stuff to the trolley to donate in one of those bins. Because I’m a walking contradiction my charity only extended to the smart price items which I packed into a separate bag at the check out, placing the ‘best of’ items in another bag with a few household essentials. When I got home I realised I’d dropped the wrong bag in the bin. This was, in part, because I was too lazy to empty it but also because I was trying to accelerate away from some salesperson or other who had set themselves up right next to the bin. Every essence of my soul wanted to go back and rectify my error but I didn’t. I still give the bin a dirty look though when I pass it.
  3. YorkshireRed

    Family Strife

    I don’t post such things on here anymore as you know. There are plenty of extremely shit poems to choose from though if you know where to look, which I’m sure you do.
  4. This might be the hardest one so far for me. I’m going with Small Faces but I don’t feel overly comfortable with my decision.
  5. YorkshireRed

    Family Strife

    It would be unfortunate timing but you’re putting your kids first. If you choose to go to London it’s a decision that’s coming from a good place and made for the right reasons, even if others don’t see it that way. Sorry for your loss.
  6. YorkshireRed

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    It’s a decent effort. However I suspect your ‘accidental’ inclusion of your wife’s cleavage is a deliberate attempt to deflect attention from the few minor flaws this breakfast clearly has: 1. I’ll leave the shape of the plate to others but it’s quite simply disgraceful. 2. The hash brown looks a little underdone. Probably a personal preference, but I like to see them a little crispier than this one. 3. One sausage. I can only assume you ate the other six before remembering to take the photo. 4. Ditto the bacon. 5. If I was asked to make do with a thimble full of beans, I’d probably cry. All week you’ve waited to dunk something breakfast like into the glorious bean juices and this is what you get. I hope your wife is helping you through the trauma.
  7. YorkshireRed

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    Enjoy. Trying to cut down on the beak but still had a couple of small lines yesterday. It’s amazing how it reduces your appetite but leaves you starving as the comedown hits. It would be a perfect diet supplement if I just did it all day everyday. In part because of its appetite suppressing qualities, but mainly because I’d have no money to buy food.
  8. YorkshireRed

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    I’m starving. Haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday and, even then, I only had two slices of toast. Despite my raging hunger, I still wouldn’t touch Kurtz abomination. In fact, looking at the photo again has suppressed my appetite slightly. Perhaps it could yet provide a positive service to the forum by being posted on every page of the ‘Sick of being fat’ thread. Fancy a cream bun, tempted by a lemon drizzle! Simply drop into the SOBF thread, have a quick gander at the photo, leave with temptation abated and current waistline not increased.
  9. YorkshireRed

    British Band Tournament Round 2. Cream vs Queen

    I voted Queen, they’ll go far in this tournament. They won’t be proclaiming themselves champions at the end of it though.
  10. YorkshireRed

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    I was in quite a good mood. Heading out in a bit for some afternoon drinks in the sun. Popped in here to kill a few minutes before I need to leave. Saw this. Day ruined. Tory cunt.
  11. YorkshireRed

    If world leaders had real jobs

    Thatcher would have been a milkman, only instead of delivering the milk she’d have taken it away.
  12. YorkshireRed

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    Hope you had a pint of Palinka with it! Needed to get over the embarrassment of having cocktail sausages, bean sprouts and mashed hash brown for breakfast. To provide balance, the eggs look good. Black pudding a bit small but reasonable. Bacon is always shit in Eastern Europe but this looks ok. C+ out of 10.
  13. We call him ‘ach from Steps’ or, alternatively, ‘that cunt from Steps’. The former is better as it prevents the inevitable follow up question; ‘which one?’
  14. My youngest sister was born in a Yorkshire Hospital and immediately named Hannah. In those days, new mothers tended to stay in Hospital a little longer than they do now, even when all has gone smoothly. The various interactions my mother had during those few days went something like this; ”She’s beautiful, what’s she called?” ”Hannah” ”Anna, what a lovely name” ”No, Hannah” ”That’s what I said, Anna”. By the time she went home she had a new name, the one she goes by thirty something years later. Anna. We don’t do well with H’s in Yorkshire.
  15. YorkshireRed

    Top 5 Footy Shirts

    Always liked these four.