Jarvinja Ilnow

Chomsky watch out, there's a new boy in town: efcfanwirral Player Valuation: £10m Of course it will - and even more so as our post Brexit deal takes hold. They'll own every part of this country.We know they hate Russia but add to that our owner being Iranian and them being determined to destroy that country too, we are looking at the abyss unless the stars align on the pitch.And we all know how likely that is right?

Negged, Dave Usher, for your baldist agenda.

Good call, Walter! You should have done a sweepstake to see which balloon on there would be first to pick up on it. My money would have been on Disgruntled GOT Goat. In this case it's that St Domingo lemon: Red Sox caught up in Baseball cheating scandal. Let’s hope there’s no whistles to blow anywhere in Anfield. He fears for us. He really does.

Corinthian FC. We might not win things like them lot, but they'd swap it all to have our class and dignity: Disgruntledgoat Player Valuation: £35m Today at 7:34 AM Add bookmark #13,773 I'm giggling myself silly at the absolute balls on Everton Football Club. This is wordclass poophousing and snidery. We're the new city, but even shadier and I absolutely love it. Player Thread

No, that's more of a Kopite thing

Typical Kopite: "next year's our year". Hang on...

Uncle Uzzy underwriting the unicorn USM have signed option on naming rights for Bramley-Moore Dock Denise Barrett-Baxendale announces that USM have signed an option on naming rights for Everton’s proposed new Bramley-Moore Dock Stadium.

Simon's boy, Junior Hoilett has been booked.

Thundercunt Nick from Leicester's text to BBC Sport: Could we please get back to a game without VAR. nobody wants it. It is ruining the game. It was suppose to be brought in to get rid of refereeing mistakes. But it is just worst. I would have like to see if the red card would have been overturned if it was a Liverpool player who had made the challenge. Nick, Leicester

I recall you used to know a few angry birds on Facebook, didn't you?

Ah, the spirit of Everton ambition! I'm sure they've already been over to Anfield to ask if they can measure our shirts up. They will be sending the measurements to Hummel, to make sure they can fit the Club World Cup badge in between the Hummel logo and their stupid, midget tower badge.

et hoc genus omne.

Then again, once Everton has touched you

"Take a minute and think about all the characteristics that you loathe in a football fan. I’m no mind reader but I bet the ‘qualities’ such as smugness, a sense of entitlement and a lack of perspective will feature. What’s being described here is the archetypical Kopite, Kopite-erectus. Humourless, thin-skinned, braying, obnoxious, self-righteous, smug, arrogant, they are unique in their awfulness." Here's a mirror. Hold it in front of you. Look into it. Now repeat these phrases soundbites: Everton, aren't we! (not even a question) Sleeping giant. Back where we belong at the top. Moral high-ground. Wall-pushers. The Old Lady. Merderers. Always the victims. Senior club in the city. Slap the money on the table.