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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 10/14/2018 in all areas

  1. 18 points
    I hardly ever post anymore since my daughter died, I don't know if it's that the reason I don't post much anymore but I'm more comfortable lurking I suppose. When she died 4 years ago, I was destroyed and part of me still is. I'll never get over it. There's things that I have to deal with over the last few years, that I think have stopped me grieving for her in a way that I'd like to. In many ways I've become numb to so much. I seem to be on autopilot most of the time and out of the blue, I'm floored and can barely pick my head up off the floor. For most of the time I function like everyone else, I go to work and do what other people do, but I don't get anywhere near the enjoyment out of life that I used to. And I accept that as I know why. My wife and I set up a charity, Love, Jasmine, 2 years ago in her memory and I know many of you sponsored Dougie Doins on his sponsored bike ride last year when he raised money for us - thank you!. We support other families who have gone through/going through what we are and the way people deal with it is as unique as the child they've lost. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief. You have to find your own way. For some counselling works, for others it doesn't. Some prefer the company of others who have experienced something similar and peer support can really help with isolation. One of things that we've tried to do with the charity is give families different choices. We don't just say here's counselling and go to the GP and get medication. We provide self-care strategies such Yoga, meditation and complimentary therapies and these are available to kids and adults alike. There's counselling for those that want to try that as well as support groups and we also provide transport for families to get them to appointments, if they can't get themselves to us. Last year, we asked families what would help and so many came back to us and said respite breaks, so we bought a caravan and we now send families for respite breaks as well. I didn't mean this to sound like an advert for the charity, I guess I'm just trying to say grief is different for everyone. I see it every day in my own life at home and with the people that we work with each day.
  2. 17 points
    I lost my brother who was also my best mate to cancer in March 2016, 9 months later my mum died of pneumonia, this was while I was going through a messy and prolonged divorce where I lost my house and had to take redundancy from a well paid job to get rid of the debts my ex wife left me with, but the death of my brother was the thing that hit me the hardest, it completely floored me and devastated me, he was like a lion, never once complained about what he was going through, never wished it on anyone else, and was more worried about other people than himself, it broke me having to go and see him while he was dying but I put on a brave face, hid the tears and went in cracking jokes and having a laugh with him, he talked about dying and it fucking almost crucified me when he was talking about it, but i think it was something he had to do, so he never saw me break, he was a Man City fan, since the early 70s when we were kids and with me being Liverpool there was plenty of banter, he died the week after we played City in the league cup final, that was the last game we ever watched together, he was drifting in and out of consciousness due to the drugs but still celebrated when City scored, before he died I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and when it was his time to go he had to say hello to Elvis, John Lennon and Bruce Lee from me, and he said he would but I had to tell him the City scores whenever I went to his grave, which I do. The after affect is awful , like you're drowning and just get your breath back and another wave of grief crashes into you, I have no idea how I got through it, there's books that I read in the weeks and months after, and films I watched that I have no recollection of, I should have had counselling but I had no idea that it existed, time heals but every so often a song or a memory sneaks up and slaps you in the face, I must be made of stern stuff as I know of a couple of people that have committed suicide in my town just cos they split up from their wives/girlfriends.
  3. 15 points
    My wife and I lost the younger of our twin boys shortly before their 1st birthday. 22 years ago on the 27th of this month. I had just turned 25 and the Mrs was 21. It changed both of us so profoundly that I doubt we know who either of us might have been. Probably amazing that we are still together. Guess love makes us stronger hey.
  4. 14 points
  5. 14 points
    Thanks everyone, for your concern and for your stories of your own losses and of how you've each managed your own grief. I should say that I'm sound btw, haven't suffered any loss or bereavement recently, but I did watch a film about loss the other night, and that prompted my post. The film was Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones, and it really struck me about how in grief, how there are no rules, no right or wrong, how grieving is such an intensely personal and individual thing. My nan dies in the June of 1999 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. After both my mother and my dad had (for different reasons) fucked off and left both me and my younger brother, it was my elderly maternal grandmother whooo gladly filled the vacuum and stepped in to bring us both up. Had she not done so, then we would have both been shipped off to some children's home. As I watched that film though, my grief for my nan really struck me. I have missed her for every single day of the past 20 years, but rarely if ever have I ever spoken of my grief, my pain and sorrow to anyone. This cannot be healthy. Perhaps I should and maybe it's important for me to do so. Maybe this thread is the beginning of my catharsis and of a recovery of sorts. In many respects I'm a very typical fella; I drink too much, bottle stuff up, repress my feelings, live in denial, put a brave face on, soldier on, and generally be an arsehole. After 20 odd years, maybe it's time to grasp thhe nettle, man up and sort my shit out? Maybe. Thanks to eveyone who's taken the time to reply to my OP, many of your posts have been both touching and moving. Much love back at ya.
  6. 13 points
    If Peter Hain was described as naive before outing him, then departed for the day, he'd be the green Green grass off home.
  7. 12 points
  8. 11 points
    I wish he grew up playing football on the streets with me, those legs are ideal for getting balls stuck under cars.
  9. 11 points
    Oh my this thread is hard. I’ll try and say this briefly but it might ramble on. We lost our 7 year old daughter to leukaemia in 2000. She was diagnosed and died within 2 weeks. I’ve no idea how we got through that. Our son had just turned 10 at the time and I guess we kept going for him. I changed jobs after a year because although everyone was very nice I didn’t want to be ‘that lady who daughter died’ Ive had loads of managers in my new job and every time I get a new one I think that’s someone new to tell because I always have the anniversary and her birthday off work. I remember walking down the street a few days later and not understanding why everyone was going about their normal business when my world had collapsed. Anyway today our son has presented us with our first grandchild, a boy so onwards and upwards.
  10. 11 points
    My mental health has been shite recently, so I started to compile a website containing some of my images. https://scalcapone.com/
  11. 10 points
    "Greet the Man City team bus in style with this official LFC product..."
  12. 9 points
  13. 9 points
    I see Hades is having far more success in his trolling since he changed tack from Communist to Fascist.
  14. 9 points
  15. 8 points
  16. 8 points
    If you were single she wouldn't even notice you lad. Tis the way of the world.
  17. 8 points
    Wow. This really is quite the thread. Sincere thanks to everyone who has contributed. There is no rulebook for grief but ultimately those of us left behind must carry on by whatever means. My own experience still leaves me angry and numb at the same time. My wife and I do appear to enjoy life but on my own behalf Im never quite sure if Im simply faking it. I feel that the loss of R defines me more than my amazing wife A and grown up children B, D and J. Aint that just a kicker.
  18. 8 points
    Heads, shoulders, knees and toes
  19. 8 points
    Agree. Coutinho still made Salah and Firmino appear half decent for a number months after he'd left the club. In fact, they got better once he'd gone. That's how good he was.
  20. 8 points
    Here's Peter Brackley doing Greavise when he couldn't make it in due to illness....
  21. 7 points
  22. 7 points
  23. 7 points
  24. 7 points
    Include a smattering of TLW reviews for each and you're onto a winner ...and there's your title
  25. 7 points
    You voted for the Tories in a general election held after the referendum. You did so knowing that the forces driving the party were happy to see the country put on a bus and driven off the cliff edge into a no deal Brexit. Would Labour have enacted Article 50? Yes, they made it clear they'd honour the referendum vote. Would they have had such a shit relationship with the EU? No. Would they have gone into negotiations armed with a sheet of A4 scribbles and a list of totally unrealistic demands? No. Would they happily consider breaking the Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland? No. If they couldn't negotiate access to the market and customs union, would they drive the country off a cliff edge into a no deal Brexit? No. Would they be gaily pushing for us to accept the sort of trade agreements that will see the NHS sold off to American health companies? No. Would they be gaily leading us into a future where worker's rights are slashed? No. That you voted Tory because it suited your personal circumstances is perfectly fine. But let us not pretend that you didn't see where they were heading on Brexit when you did so. Maybe you went for the short-term gain option. Again, that's ok. You are looking out for yourself and your family. But don't complain that it's Labour's fault that you made that choice and the consequences that later flow from it. It's just totally dishonest. As for the Russians, how many of the 17 odd million people who voted leave do you think they actually influenced? I'd estimate about a million at best on social media. The vast majority of those people were driven by arguments presented in the press, or other concerns. My mum and dad both voted leave and it had nothing all to do with the Russians. My mum because she was a child during the war, and was concerned about a unified European Army under Germany and felt that's where the EU was headed - she never quite got over those visits to the bomb shelters and hearing the bombs come down. Experiences like that run deep. My dad voted leave because he's a barely concealed racist and didn't like the fact that people weren't speaking English who were sitting at the front of the bus. His concerns were immigration. I suspect many of the 17 million voted out of their own concerns and the illusion of taking back control of our laws and the NHS promise plastered over the side of a bus. I had some terrible arguments with my parents, showed them everything I could find that indicated why it was a bad idea, but in the end they voted how they saw was best for them. Just like you did in the general election. EDIT: Replying to Rico's post, not Section's - who snuck in there before me.