Clem H Fandango

In work as part of team bonding we had to list 10 sexual innuendos. I accidentally wrote down 11 and had to rub one out.

There was a team of rappers at our local pub quiz last night. They lost by one point. Last question was a five-parter on animal dwellings. Had to name the homes of a badger, a bird, a fox, a rabbit and a squirrel They got sett, nest, den and warren, but they forgot about drey...

There was this really annoying bloke outside my house last night who kept shouting, "Army Barracks!........ Army Barracks!........ Army Barracks!........ " It's at this point I should mention that I'd just kicked him in the goolies........ and that he was Chinese.

Arse biscuits?

@Dynamite Sorted it! Simple fix of purchasing a hdmi splitter (2 inputs, 1 output) and a different cable for one of the monitors (VGA to HDMI). Total cost £7. Should make homeworking more productive.

We have extended display in the office, just need to replicate it at home to be able to work efficiently.

It's a tough one. The monitors at work are iyama, connected to a dell dock which the homeworking dell laptop connects to. Its all dell, whereas my home dock only has hdmi,usb (at least 4 ports) or dvi 15 pin female connection. I could ask work, but it's a new job/office and they are struggling to get it equipment because of the microchip shortage at the moment. Where are you working now? I miss the Zurich days.

I will look later Al! We have in the office a 2 monitor and laptop setup, all connected to a docking station/hub. The 2 big monitors run off a cable that splits into 2 inputs for the monitors but has just 1 cable going to the Dock. If that makes any sense? What I'm after is a twin dvi-d for the monitors that only has 1 hdmi or usb at the other end for the docking station, so essentially both monitors are connected to the Dock via 1 input. My apologies if that's not clear.

Ok, working from home with a company laptop is a ballache. I have two monitors that I can connect via a docking hub/thingy. This also connects the company laptop and for ease of use is better for when I do work at home. Both monitors are old but good and use dvi-d inputs. I need a twin cable dvi-d to single USB or hdmi (HDMI is more preferable). I can't seem to find or search properly on ebay for the right cable with my terminology. Please help a fellow nerd.

Fleet management of office equipment. I have to manage the contracts and billing of 3k photocopiers in the northeast region. Not as dull as it sounds. It's dull.

Started the new job today. There is free fruit, cake and coffee including those pod coffees. There's free beer/cider/gin to drink on a Friday afternoon. Also, free pizza once a month. Unfortunately I'm going to be working from home on Fridays and Mondays so will miss out on the beer ffs. Still, I'm very lucky to have found such a relaxed place like this to work.

Spider

A so called good friend of mine once borrowed £50 for a pool tournament. He didn't win, and for months after was always making excuses as to not pay up A year later, we were both in a tournament with 500 up for grabs. We both met in the final and after narrowly being beaten 9-8 I asked for my £50 back. His reply was he couldn't afford it. Needless to say the red mist descended and had to be pulled off the prick. People take the piss regardless of blood.

Cut your losses and save your family from anymore grief. No good will come from being a cash cow.