little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Kevin D]

Guy's in different sports raising their profile, by motherfucking athletes, in other sports.

[Kevin D]

Cheap heat.

[VladimirIlyich]

A spitting image of me.

[Mook]

Shaving the bottom of my sideys, it takes me so long to get them even, I can only conclude that my head is squint.

[Hooch]

People in cars who use their horn to let on to someone walking by.

[stringvest]

Shaving the bottom of my sideys, it takes me so long to get them even, I can only conclude that my head is squint.

 

Get one of those lasers you can use to hang your pictures.

[boots123]

aholes who blurt out the score of a game you have recorded, but haven't watched yet

[boots123]

finding a nice little spot that's never used as safe place to leave your bike, behind your club pub or whatever, then some one else sees it and thinks yes what a good little spot and starts putting there bike there, makes me feel like smashing their bike to bits with a hammer. 

[Mook]

aholes who blurt out the score of a game you have recorded, but haven't watched yet

 

[Trumo]

aholes who blurt out the score of a game you have recorded, but haven't watched yet

 

There was a Fast Show sketch where a group of fellas are getting ready to watch the match highlights in the pub having gone to a lot of trouble to avoid learning the score beforehand, when the "I'll get me coat" guy walks in all happy and yelling "3-2, 3-2, 3-2!" He looks at everyone staring at him then legs it.

[Kevin D]

When a new season of a Netflix show starts, they should have a brief recap of what happened in the last season. Given so many people binge watch their shows and haven't seen an episode in 12 months, it's just common sense.

[Mook]

People calling it a 'season'.

[lifetime fan]

Shaving the bottom of my sideys, it takes me so long to get them even, I can only conclude that my head is squint.

Was having this conversation with my barber, wanker then told me you can't 'cut' your sideys by your ears as they're not even.

 

36 fucking years it took to learn that. Prick has been cutting my hair for 17 years and never told me this before.

[Sugar Ape]

Getting my haircut and getting the most intense itch I've ever had right in the middle of my fod. I was squirming like a bastard until she stopped and I could scratch it.

[Duff Man]

"Do you need any help with your packing?"

 

"Are you collecting vouchers for school?"

 

"Would you like to purchase a Sports Relief scratch card?"

 

"Can I interest you in any of our special offers?"

 

"Do you have a nectar card?"

 

And on and on and on it fucking goes. Probably part of the effort to get everyone using self-service tills. Hate it when they start trying to engage in small talk, too. Just scan my shit and take the fucking money.

[Moctezuma]

Barbers shaving your eyebrows without your consent, I was going for the Brezhnev look you dick.

 

[Champ]

Filing.

It's one of the mysteries of being an adult. Am I meant to keep all of this shit?

[Bobby Hundreds]

Guardian webchat with Gemma Arteton and the comments are pathetic, childish and naive the first one is Do you suck cock? I mean for fucks sake she is a beautiful intelligent, heterosexual adult woman of course she sucks cock, waste of a question, say will you suck my cock or will you make a sex tape you sexy cow.

[Champ]

"Do you need any help with your packing?"

 

"Are you collecting vouchers for school?"

 

"Would you like to purchase a Sports Relief scratch card?"

 

"Can I interest you in any of our special offers?"

 

"Do you have a nectar card?"

 

And on and on and on it fucking goes. Probably part of the effort to get everyone using self-service tills. Hate it when they start trying to engage in small talk, too. Just scan my shit and take the fucking money.

You missed my personal favourite, 'What kind of day are you having?'

 

 

That said, I feel sorry for them having to regurgitate this shit

[Jairzinho]

You missed my personal favourite, 'What kind of day are you having?'

 

 

That said, I feel sorry for them having to regurgitate this shit

 

I've taken to giving honest answers to these sort of questions. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Things like come dine with me or judging shows where they score points out of ten and then freeze it after they say I'm going to give them "an".... Well it's an 8 then isn't it because you said "an" you tool. My god we need a revolution.

[Champ]

I've taken to giving honest answers to these sort of questions.

 

Are you not tempted to invent some terrible tragedy? A bit like that urge to jump off exposed places, I've resisted so far

[Jairzinho]

Are you not tempted to invent some terrible tragedy? A bit like that urge to jump off exposed places, I've resisted so far

 

I've not gone quite that far, but there have been several, "Well, I'm an insomniac and have probably slept for about three of the last 48 hours, I received a £100 fine from HMRC this morning, and I've spent the last 40 minutes in a queue in Tesco", or similar.

 

"I've got gangrene and today is the day both legs go" may produce more interesting reactions admittedly.

[thegreatelephant]

You missed my personal favourite, 'What kind of day are you having?'

 

 

That said, I feel sorry for them having to regurgitate this shit

because I am a soft bastard and sympahise with previous gutlessness that allows this insincere shite to manifest itself- i try to turn the question round for someone else to let off some steam Bennett. the responses can be entertaining

[Dougie Do'ins]

Are you not tempted to invent some terrible tragedy? A bit like that urge to jump off exposed places, I've resisted so far

Some years ago some woman told me to 'cheer up as it might never happen'. To which I replied. Yeah sorry, it was my mums funeral yesterday'. Judging by her reaction for the 15 minutes that followed, she'll think twice before she comes out with that pearl of wisdom again.