Jairzinho

Some bad nuances on here.

Is that aimed at Howie's Egyptian heritage?

Yes, Gomez and Matip are both much better players than Maguire. Maguire is an absolute fucking shambles. I wouldn't swap him for Lovren. And obviously having Rashford ahead of Salah is utterly ludicrous. A mixed 11 would be 11 Liverpool players with the only debate about whether Gomez or Matip starts alongside VVD.

School of science.

Sounds ace. The Labour Party can just be run by the Catholic Church and the Board of Deputies of Jews.

Dave, I thought you said you were going to bin off this Scientologist loon.

Probably only £24.99 though.

Just bolted up in the 19:00 at Newcastle. Is there anything this man can't do?

Really fancy buying a Playstation 2, firing up GTA, and cruising around in a Sentinel listening to Double Clef FM.

Also, a mid table premier league club should sign Sofyan Amrabat. On loan at Verona from Club Brugge. 23 year old central midfielder. Strong, intelligent, decent passer of the ball (nothing flashy), and carries the ball well (uses his strength well to brush people off the ball). Not good enough for us, like.

We were after this kid last year as well, apparently. I've been following his career since he was at Piacenza. Frankly, if we don't sign him Klopp should walk.

What's Fred? A homing pigeon?

Hardly surprising we used to get bummed so often. Our current crop of batsmen would have been skittled for 100 in most innings.