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Sugar Ape

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Everything posted by Sugar Ape

  1. Sugar Ape

    Working from home excuses

    Depends what kind of phone contract you've got. If you don't get much data they can't expect you to use it on work. I'd only use the 'no internet' excuse very sparingly anyway. If you use it too often they'll just say you can't work at home since your connection is bad and you have to work from the office.
  2. Just say you thought @Captain Turdseye lived there. They'll understand. Tremors
  3. Sugar Ape

    Golf thread / my new project

    I bet these Tory ants live in your garden. http://www.bbc.co.uk/earth/story/20151028-a-few-species-of-ant-are-pirates-that-enslave-other-ants
  4. Sugar Ape

    Golf thread / my new project

    You deserve to be on the wing with Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter you cunt. Not because of the fridge magnet like.
  5. Sugar Ape

    Golf thread / my new project

    Good call Dave. Always knew he was a wrong’un. I think a two week ban for trying to fraudulently obtain a fridge magnet is in order.
  6. Sugar Ape

    Ibrahima Konate

    From Ornstein in The Athletic: Liverpool finalising deal to sign Ibrahima Konate from RB Leipzig After a disappointing Premier League title defence, Liverpool have moved to bolster their squad ahead of next season by lining up what could prove to be the English top flight’s first major summer signing. The Athletic can exclusively reveal the club are in the process of finalising a deal to bring the RB Leipzig and France youth international centre-back Ibrahima Konate to Merseyside. The situation is already said to be at an advanced stage and, if everything goes to plan, it would enable Konate to be added to Liverpool’s ranks at the soonest opportunity, which may prove all the more valuable for them in a summer featuring the delayed European Championship. Although there is still work to be done and there are other suitors, sources in Germany indicate that Liverpool have made significant progress on a player seen as key to their recruitment plans. With Leipzig under no pressure to sell, it is anticipated that any buyer will have to pay the 21-year-old’s release clause — thought to be around €40 million — rather than negotiating a lower price. The Bundesliga side are believed to be aware of interest in Konate but, if Liverpool choose to activate the mechanism in his contract, then talks would not be needed between the two parties. Konate joined Leipzig from Sochaux in June 2017 on a five-year contract. Despite injuries limiting him to fewer than 100 appearances for Leipzig, he is among the most promising talents in his position and has attracted interest from a number of high-profile suitors. Currently with France at the European Under-21 European Championship in Hungary and Slovenia, the 6ft 4in defender was an unused substitute in his country’s 1-0 defeat by Denmark in their opening fixture on Thursday while he played 90 minutes in a 2-0 win over Russia last night. Liverpool’s campaign has been ravaged by injuries — most notably to Virgil van Dijk, Joe Gomez and Joel Matip at the heart of their back line — and that appears to have intensified their pursuit. Reinforcements came during the January transfer window in the form of Ben Davies permanently from Preston and Schalke’s Ozan Kabak on loan with an option to buy. Davies has yet to feature and a decision must be reached on whether Kabak will be purchased for £18 million plus add-ons. Even before their raft of problems, Liverpool had been expected to enter the market for a central defender at the end of 2020-21 and were heavily linked with Leipzig’s Dayot Upamecano. But with Upamecano heading to Bayern Munich, his colleague Konate emerged as their primary target as the six-time European champions seek to strengthen in a vital area. Given his Bundesliga and Champions League experience, Konate would be expected to challenge Liverpool’s existing options for a starting place immediately but there is also huge appeal in the long-term potential he offers. There are no specified return dates for Van Dijk, Gomez or Matip, and the trio are all under contract until June 2023 or 2024. Two makeshift alternatives — Fabinho and Jordan Henderson — have suffered from injury problems of their own and are also tied down through to 2023. Following the sale of Dejan Loven last July without a replacement being sourced, Klopp has also utilised homegrown pair Nathaniel Phillips and Rhys Williams in recent months. Leipzig have prepared for Upamecano’s exit by acquiring Mohamed Simakan of Strasbourg, while securing Josko Gvardiol from Dinamo Zagreb last September provides further cover if Konate departs as well. The German side are becoming renowned for doing their business early, with Dominik Szoboszlai landed in advance of the January window and Brian Brobbey on course to arrive as a free agent.
  7. Sugar Ape

    Ibrahima Konate

    Internet bullshitter says it’s back on. I’m choosing to believe this.
  8. Sugar Ape

    Working from home excuses

    Switch it to migraines. Need to be lie down in a darkened room, switched your phone off because the screen hurts your eyes etc...
  9. Sugar Ape

    Working from home excuses

    You’re overthinking things. All those excuses will still be fine if you’re working from home. If you’ve got kids you never have to scramble around for an excuse again. Just say they’re sick and you have to look after them.
  10. Sugar Ape


    Call this morning to say a teacher in my daughters class has tested positive (all the teachers have been vaccinated so she should be ok) and she’s got to isolate until a week Monday. Third time she’s had to isolate since September. The wife is in work so I had a nice day off to myself planned which has gone up in smoke. On the plus side I’ve got a helper to help me sand down this bench and paint it.
  11. Sugar Ape

    Peter Crouch

    Just seen this pop up on Twitter again.
  12. Sugar Ape

    Ibrahima Konate

    It is for people who want to read the Konate thread.
  13. Sugar Ape

    Lib Dems

    My Google search isn't working in work, hence the new thread. What do people make of the Clegg apology? Doesn't seem to be getting a favourable response judging by the people I've spoken to/articles I've read on it. Seems to me by issuing the apology he is planning on being leader going into the next election, which is surely electoral suicide? The only slim chance they have of gaining any kind of popularity back is by breaking the coalition and blaming it on the Tories, the longer they leave it, the more chance the Tories will be the ones to end it which will fuck them up even more. It's their party conference this weekend, with a bit of luck he will get loads of stick there. She's obviously biased but Toynbee makes some good points ( and a few bad ones ) here. This was Nick Clegg's chance to save his skin. He failed | Polly Toynbee | Comment is free | The Guardian
  14. Sugar Ape


    Anyone watching this? Just watched the first couple of episodes now, entertaining to say the least! Insane amount of fighting, and Ivana Milicevic? Fuck me, she's amazing. Agent Harris from The Sopranos is in it also. Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal. Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal. Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal. Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.
  15. Sugar Ape

    Prince Philip...

    Sorry to interrupt the homophobia thread with news about Prince Phillip but this cunt from The Telegraph launches a campaign to build a new Royal Yacht about five times a year. Embarrassing. Relentless.
  16. Sugar Ape

    Liz Hurley

    Her Twitter feed is fantastic
  17. Sugar Ape


    Brazil is looking particularly fucked with the new variant combined with the nut job in charge of them.
  18. Sugar Ape

    Interesting Online Articles

    Was reading this ‘This is not an easy treasure hunt’: puzzle book offers readers chance to win €750,000 golden casket | Books | The Guardian article before and seen a link to this one: Masquerade: How a real-life treasure hunt obsessed a nation - BBC News Masquerade: How a real-life treasure hunt obsessed a nation A series of events is being staged to mark the 40th anniversary of the publishing sensation that was Masquerade, a picture book that promised hidden treasure to the person who could solve the clues hidden within its pages. It's a familiar tale: treasure-hunters racing to decipher clues from a mysterious book that will lead them to buried gold. But this particular hunt, and its waiting treasure, was no work of fiction - even if the creation that inspired it was. In 1979, artist Kit Williams published Masquerade - a storybook decorated with paintings whose intricacies held clues that would lead the successful sleuth to an 18-carat golden hare. A phenomenon at the time, the book sold more than a million copies and sparked a worldwide hunt for the gold. Forty years on, Masquerade retains an army of fans who have handed down their passion for the book, and their memories of the frenzy that gripped the country. Readers were addicted, with treasure-hunters driven as much by being the first to solve the riddle as the value of the jewel-encrusted hare. Countless lawns were dug up, and fed-up landowners put up signs warning off fortune-seekers. The book was even cited in divorce proceedings. But when the golden hare was finally unearthed, three years later in a park in Bedfordshire, the story was far from over. The scandal behind its discovery shocked fans around the world, and turned Williams into a recluse. Ironically, it was a story that could have come out of a work of fiction. The hunt begins Masquerade follows the journey of Jack Hare, who loses a jewel he has been entrusted to deliver from the moon to the sun. And the real-life treasure was fit for a fairy-tale, having been hand-beaten by Williams himself. It was valued at £5,000 - although it would eventually prove to be worth much more - and inset with ruby, mother-of-pearl and moonstones. This golden hare caught the imagination of millions, yet for nearly three years its hiding place was known to only two men. Setting off one night in August 1979, Williams was accompanied by a single witness chosen by his publisher Tom Maschler - the television host Bamber Gascoigne. At a precise spot on the common, Williams and his famous witness buried the hare, which was sealed in wax and placed in a ceramic case to evade metal detectors. Upon it was the engraving: "I am the keeper of the jewel of the Masquerade, which lies waiting safe inside me for you... or eternity." Having witnessed the burial, Gascoigne was to provide the final flourish, emptying over the hare a fresh cowpat from a Tupperware box. The perceptive reader would be led to this location - selected by Williams years before while on a picnic with his then-girlfriend - by unearthing the complex clues in the paintings. But the paintings' detail allowed for almost as many interpretations and theories as there were fans. The book was an instant success, as readers from across the world raced to solve the mystery. An airline even sold transatlantic Masquerade tickets, which came with a free spade on arrival. "The first edition sold out within two days or something like that," Williams recalled in a BBC Four documentary, The Man Behind the Masquerade. "They were reprinting so fast. It became a sensation in a way, that it moved so fast." Williams, until then a little-known artist, was thrust into the spotlight. Williams was interviewed by the likes of Terry Wogan as he promoted his work He embarked on a publicity tour of the United States, appeared on talk shows in the UK, and was inundated with requests from fans desperate for help. Soon, more than 200 letters were arriving at his house daily and Williams had to read every one. "I was unprepared," he said. "It really got out of hand really quickly." Among the guesses posted through the artist's letterbox were more unsettling submissions, among them severed rubber hands. Rallying round, Williams' neighbours in his Gloucestershire village began to deny any knowledge of him to inquisitive fans. The solution Among the golden hares and red herrings, only one theory led to the correct solution - and the golden prize. To complete it, the puzzler had to draw a line from the eye of each of the animals in the 15 paintings through hand or paw to a letter in the border. This revealed a word or phrase which, put together, formed the crucial clue. It read: "Catherine's / Long finger / Over / Shadows / Earth / Buried / Yellow / Amulet / Midday / Points / The / Hour / In / Light of equinox / Look you." When arranged in verse, the acrostic of the first letters spelled out "Close by Ampthill". It gave Masqueraders their final, essential pointer towards the Bedfordshire town, near which Williams had lived years before. The burial spot was where Williams knew the shadow of Catherine of Aragon's cross fell on the spring and autumn equinox - meaning it would point to the right place on the right day. It took nearly three years for the code to be cracked, by physics teachers Mike Barker and John Rousseau - but the treasure was ultimately to elude them. Discovery Drawing lines between the paws and eyes in this painting leads to letters spelling "amulet" By early 1982, Barker and Rousseau had arrived at what Gascoigne later called "the most perfect solution" to the puzzle. They had made their breakthrough with the help of an additional clue published in the Sunday Times in 1981. That hinted to them that fingers and toes might hold the key to the puzzle. Remembering the introduction to the book - "To solve the hidden riddle, you must use your eyes" - they realised that a straight line drawn from each animal's eye, through its paw, pointed to a letter in the border. Put together, these letters spelled out a word. It was the book's eighth painting, which revealed the word "Amulet", that convinced Barker and Rousseau they had done it. From there, they reached "Close by Ampthill", found the park and identified the monument. In January 1982, Barker visited the park to dig for their treasure but, without the precise instruments to calculate its resting place, was to return empty-handed. But as the two men resolved to wait for March's equinox to point them to their prize, the golden hare squirmed from their grasp. Scandal Finder Ken Thomas with Williams as the hare was freed from its casing They were beaten to the find by a reclusive puzzler called Ken Thomas, who shunned the publicity that came with solving a mystery that had captivated the world. He was filmed with Williams as he freed the hare from the wax case, but later insisted on covering his face with a scarf and would only be interviewed from behind a screen. He refused to exhibit his treasure. Unable to share in the joy of his discovery, Masquerade fans grew suspicious of Thomas and, later, Williams, with some even suggesting he had conspired to cheat them. After years of searching for hidden clues, they saw another in an anagram of Kit Williams: "I will mask it". The artist, however, shared their doubts over Thomas, realising he had not solved the full puzzle but uncovered the gold's location by other means. It was not until 1988 that a newspaper finally uncovered the link between Thomas - revealed to be a pseudonym - and Williams' ex-girlfriend, who had remembered their visit to Ampthill years before. When Thomas's company Haresoft collapsed he was forced to sell the hare at auction to raise money. That led reporter Frank Branston to look into the company, the director of which was named Dugald Thompson - not Ken Thomas. Thompson had previously been in business with a man named John Guard who was, at the time of the discovery, living with Williams' ex-girlfriend. Williams, speaking later to the Sunday Times, said he felt "conned" and knew from the start that Thomas had not truly solved the puzzle. The hare, having fetched £31,900 at auction, passed into private ownership and disappeared from public view for more than 20 years. Williams, the man whose imagination had spawned the phenomenon, did the same. He had grown disillusioned at his artistic reputation being reduced to that of a puzzle-maker, and having seen his creation corrupted. "At the beginning he was quite grateful to me for having fostered this creature," his publisher Tom Maschler told BBC Four. "But later he was quite resentful at times because I had destroyed his peaceful life. And he's right - I did." Williams never stopped painting but put on only private shows to which select buyers were invited. It was not until 2009, as his most famous work neared its 30th anniversary, that he returned to public life with an exhibition of some of his 300 intervening works. Reunification Williams was reunited with his golden hare in 2009 After retreating from the limelight for many years, Williams agreed to take part in a Radio 4 programme to mark Masquerade's milestone. The broadcast was heard by the owner of the golden hare, by this time resident in the Middle East, who offered to display it at Williams' exhibition. The artist's reunification with his creation was filmed by the BBC in The Man Behind the Masquerade. Williams confessed he was overwhelmed to see his youthful creation again, and remained proud of what he called "an apprentice piece". "I made it because I was almost no-one, going nowhere," he said. "I made it thinking 'this is something rather special', and it turned out that way." Legacy Its mystery has been solved and its treasure found, but the fascination of Masquerade lives on. For its fans, Ampthill has become a place of pilgrimage, and there remains a keen interest in the book in the town. Masquerade40, a series of events launched on the equinox, will run through the year to mark the anniversary, and includes walks and craft events at the burial spot. A painting by local artist Karen Mangold, Close by Katherine's Cross, will be unveiled and Mark Jeoffroy has written the short story Jack's Parade, a continuation of the book. Stephen Hartley, of Masquerade40, said Williams' book had been woven into the town's history. "It lives on, and has become part of local folklore. The Ampthill library has its weather vane as a hare, and there is public art incorporating hares," he said. "Younger people in the town know about the hare, but I think it has sidestepped them to a certain extent. "Masquerade40 will bring it to a new generation."
  19. Seen this albeit it's the female Champions League but assume the rules will be the same. Lyon v PSG women's Champions League clash postponed due to COVID-19 cases (yahoo.com) PARIS (Reuters) - The women's Champions League quarter-final second leg between Olympique Lyonnais and Paris St Germain has been postponed due to a string of COVID-19 cases within the OL squad. Seven-times champions Lyon said on Monday that six of their players had tested positive for the novel coronavirus and asked for Wednesday's home game to be played at a later date after the whole squad was put in isolation by regional health authorities. "Due to positive cases returned by several players within the Olympique Lyonnais team... and the information that the entire team delegation... has been placed in quarantine, the UEFA women's Champions League quarter-final second leg match... cannot take place as scheduled," UEFA said in a statement. UEFA said they postponed the match in accordance with the special rules applicable to knockout stage matches due to COVID-19. The European soccer governing body has not yet set a new date for the match. Lyon, who claimed the last five titles, won the first leg 1-0 in Paris.
  20. Let me put it another way. I don't care if we win, lose or draw as long as we score more goals than them.
  21. I'd settle for not losing the game. Or drawing.
  22. Sugar Ape

    Sick of being Fat

    I've been looking at something like the Huel for a while but not sure I can give up my daily allocation of cheese for my dinner. How expensive is it?