Mathewbet1

From the red machine to the slot machine.

He swans around the pitch like he's wearing pipe and slippers smoking a cigar. We are effectively playing with 3 at the back when he's in the team.

That's the problem, the hard stuff comes so easily to him, he forgets about the hard yards. That's what separates the great players from the could have been players. At the moment hes the walking definition of a luxury player. He's he most naturally talented player in our squad, possibly to the right hand side of midfield should be his position as he cant (or should that be wont?) defend for a toffee.

I can forgive the lack of pace or even things not coming off for him but what i cant get my head around is his shooting, for an elite level footballer or any level its has been shocking, shooting like a schoolboy , powder puff shots , scuffed shots , hard to fathom.

The last few weeks have been like watching a car crash in slow motion.

Although i've finally lost my rag with him. To be fair he's only dropped off in the last few weeks, during crunch time the most important part of the season which is unforgivable. He's one of the reasons we are where we are i.e., he got us into the position but is not clinical at the pointy end of the season. Im sure his goal contributions across the whole season stats stack up against anyone eles in the team.

He thinks defending is above him, he was disgraceful for that first goal not so much the missed header - watch the replay he wonders away from goal instead of going back to mark his man that leads directly to the goal, never seen anything like it.

When was the last time we had a clean sheet? defence has been shite for weeks as has the finishing, not a good combo when your going for a title.

Big game bottler

Every baldy needs a hairy friend, it's the balance of life.

With a dutch manager and dutch captain, you might say we have gone double dutch.

I'm worried that the light might reflect off his shiny baldy head when we are attacking the kop , thus obscuring the view.

He loves gooooooollllllllllddddd...'How about no, you crazy dutch bastard'

A week out with a broken finger nail.

Jota the slot a