What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[cloggypop]

13 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Saw this ‘thing’ flash up on just eat a while back, completely forgot about it until I saw that mess above.

 

 

I mean, where do you fucking start with how truly bad that is?

The individually rinsed beans. 

[Bruce Spanner]

1 minute ago, cloggypop said:

The individually rinsed beans. 

 

I thik it's more that there's dressing on the salad, just why?

 

Like a fat lass asking for a diet coke with her supersize meal, it's a token gesture.

[Anubis]

On 22/11/2020 at 16:42, Edward. said:

I have a pic of it but no idea how to post it on here. 
 

I work with homeless people so I often respond without thinking about how the comment was meant.

Bit of a leap to assume the guy was homeless. It was Australia so it might have been just another pissed up Aussie sleeping it off on a park bench.

[Anubis]

2 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Is was in Asda the other day and saw this monstrosity for sale. How desperate does life need to get for you to want to buy this? They can't even make it look good on the picture on the box. Imagine how bad it really is. 

You should have bought one be reviewed it for our entertainment.

 

That ‘egg’ though...

[Barrington Womble]

Just now, Anubis said:

You should have bought one be reviewed it for our entertainment.

It's only Asda. Anyone with a desire to do it for the interests of the forum is more than welcome! 

[Tony Moanero]

2 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

 

[Remmie]

3 hours ago, belarus said:

Right then...

 

Homemade effort today. Not in shot is either my perfectly coloured cup of tea or my excellently cooked toast.

 

Also out of shot is your ma’s cum face.

 

Do your worst. 
 

Oh, and Happy New Year x

A fitting tribute to Tracey Emin's 'bed' piece in a breakfast format. Perhaps the roadkill egg is also a tribute to Damien Hirst

[Trumo]

3 hours ago, belarus said:

Right then...

 

Homemade effort today. Not in shot is either my perfectly coloured cup of tea or my excellently cooked toast.

 

Also out of shot is your ma’s cum face.

 

Do your worst. 
 

Oh, and Happy New Year x

 

A glimpse into our new Brexit world there.

 

 

 

 

And then there's all that other stuff on the plate itself.

[Carvalho Diablo]

4 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Is was in Asda the other day and saw this monstrosity for sale. How desperate does life need to get for you to want to buy this? They can't even make it look good on the picture on the box. Imagine how bad it really is. 

OMFG

[Mudface]

And I thought this shite was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. The wife's aunt bought one- presumably by mistake-she wisely decided not to eat it and maliciously passed it on to us. I decided to cook the black pudding and chuck the rest of the much, and the fucking stuff just fell to pieces under the grill. Grim.

 

[Barrington Womble]

10 minutes ago, Mudface said:

And I thought this shite was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. The wife's aunt bought one- presumably by mistake-she wisely decided not to eat it and maliciously passed it on to us. I decided to cook the black pudding and chuck the rest of the much, and the fucking stuff just fell to pieces under the grill. Grim.

 

At least they made it look alright on the box. 

[Mook]

If they made a breakfast pack with quality ingredients, I'd be well up for buying it. Those Simon Howie sausages look like utter shite for starters.

[Bjornebye]

6 hours ago, belarus said:

Right then...

 

Homemade effort today. Not in shot is either my perfectly coloured cup of tea or my excellently cooked toast.

 

Also out of shot is your ma’s cum face.

 

Do your worst. 
 

Oh, and Happy New Year x

I bet you the person who drew on the table with a marker pen also cooked the eggs. 

[Curly]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I bet you the person who drew on the table with a marker pen also cooked the eggs. 

I’ve never even noticed that mark before, but just gone and checked the table and it’s there! Fucking hell.

 

Let me just address this egg situation. I used to cook them in extra oil and flick the oil over the top to seal the cunts, but then saw some other cunt do it with that healthier spray oil and put a pan lid over the top and it cooks it like a show egg. I’m not a fan though as it tastes and feels synthetic. Then I saw this other cunt flip his eggs like a pancake and flash fry the top and then flick it back, which seals the top and leaves the yolk runny, so I’ve started doing that these days and I’m a big fan of it. 
 

So why don’t you all just stick that in your boyfriend’s crack pipe and smoke it?

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, belarus said:

I’ve never even noticed that mark before, but just gone and checked the table and it’s there! Fucking hell.

 

Let me just address this egg situation. I used to cook them in extra oil and flick the oil over the top to seal the cunts, but then saw some other cunt do it with that healthier spray oil and put a pan lid over the top and it cooks it like a show egg. I’m not a fan though as it tastes and feels synthetic. Then I saw this other cunt flip his eggs like a pancake and flash fry the top and then flick it back, which seals the top and leaves the yolk runny, so I’ve started doing that these days and I’m a big fan of it. 
 

So why don’t you all just stick that in your boyfriend’s crack pipe and smoke it?

Looks like you cooked the eggs in a george foreman mate. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

7 hours ago, belarus said:

Right then...

 

Homemade effort today. Not in shot is either my perfectly coloured cup of tea or my excellently cooked toast.

 

Also out of shot is your ma’s cum face.

 

Do your worst. 
 

Oh, and Happy New Year x

I somewhat share Tony's tomato critique, yet must applaud you on the fact the tomato had physical and meaningful contact with a hot pan. Kudos.

 

Delinquent mushrooms need to be kettled into one area, but great bean containment, so that juice does not affect other food items, yet is available for putting on toast. Strange no sausage, but understandable, if all you had were Richmond sausages (which begs the question, why did you buy shit Richmond sausages, you cunt?).

 

Also, great work on my Ma's cum face. Sadly, that also lacked a sausage of any worth.

 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

7 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Is was in Asda the other day and saw this monstrosity for sale. How desperate does life need to get for you to want to buy this? They can't even make it look good on the picture on the box. Imagine how bad it really is. 

The tray is 100% recyclable, Baz.

[Bjornebye]

I like how he appears to have boiled the tomatoes then punched them before putting them on the plate

[Bjornebye]

7 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

I was in custody the other day and saw this monstrosity. How desperate does life need to get for you to want this? They can't even make it look good on the picture on the box. Imagine how bad it really is. 

I've corrected that for you mate. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I like how he appears to have boiled the tomatoes then punched them before putting them on the plate

That's what's missing from our fast-food, instant oatmeal society. He goes the extra mile.

[Paulie Dangerously]

7 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Is was in Asda the other day and saw this monstrosity for sale. How desperate does life need to get for you to want to buy this? They can't even make it look good on the picture on the box. Imagine how bad it really is. 

You should've got it. It would best 90% of the shambles presented in this thread. 

[Jose Jones]

The “Full Spread” at Mother Duck cafe in Goolwa, South Australia.

 

The Bad

Didn’t offer me a choice of egg, just came with poached, which were a bit overdone.

I like avocado, but this was tasteless mush.

Mini Roma tomatoes, had touched the pan for about 2 seconds

You can’t see it, but there was also a pork sausage on the plate, it was very small.

The green cress stuff, didn’t eat that obviously.

 

The Good

There were two full rashers of bacon all folded up there, good quality bacon.

The half cut sausage was chorizo, also tasty.

Good mushroom.

Sourdough toast was thick and crunchy.

 

Verdict: 4/10

 

 

 

[TheHowieLama]

They had a salad bar for their breakfasts?

[Jose Jones]

14 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

They had a salad bar for their breakfasts?

The quality of the meat products was actually reasonably good. They’d just decided the best way to serve it was covered in salad.

[Stouffer]

21 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Saw this ‘thing’ flash up on just eat a while back, completely forgot about it until I saw that mess above.

 

 

I mean, where do you fucking start with how truly bad that is?

I'd rather have a cheese hamwich toasted sandwich.