Geoff Woade

Doesn’t seem that long ago we were laughing when Kevin Bridges made the joke about ‘it’s only a matter of time before a Chomp’s a quid’ Nobodys laughing any more. i had a tantrum when I bought a pack of polos for the first time in years. When I was a kid they were 15p, thought I misheard when the old crone in the newsagent demanded 65p with what could only be described as menaces. The world has gone mad.

That’s what KitKat Chunky wrappers are for. 4 for a quid and you get the snack as well

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/06/14/universal-credit-pandemic-12830605/amp/ You’ll love this guy.

Love to see her ‘foraging for apples’ on some of the estates round here.

Either that is a Jack Dee style response (in which case fair play) or you’ve just confirmed a nagging feeling I have about you. I’ve got kids as well, my parents think they’re the best thing since sliced bread. They wouldn’t have the same feeling about their grandkids as they would the new bum plug I’d just invented and been pimping on Twitter.

I’m going to sound like a massive prude here when I’m not. I don’t care what people get up to, I’m a dirty bastard myself but I don’t get this new thing where celebrities will just put something like that out. Do they not think ‘might be a bit awkward my dad seeing this’? If I was famous I can’t imagine the family Christmas dinner wouldn’t have a bit of an odd vibe if I’d spent the weeks before appearing on the internet going on about the latex fanny and arse of a woman I’d invented for wanking into and how I wanted to share my experience with anyone. Who even cares? ‘That Lily Allen is so great I even want to fud myself off like her’

I thought when he won the first time, the look on his face was of a man thinking ‘I was only messin’ Like with Johnson he’s probably realised it’s not the wheeze he thought it would be.

It’s the cultural appropriation complaints I don’t understand. As long as you aren’t taking the piss what’s the problem? That seems to have come from Universities in America as well.

I remember this from at the time, he seems like a completely ungrateful twat. I bet now she wishes that she’d joined in the beating he got and maybe finished him off with a Crippler Crossface. He’s a brave man pissing her off though to be fair, going by that picture she could quite easily grab him by the ankles and hammer toss him over 70 meters

Borini has to be the most pointless player. He’s Sunday league with a good agent. He’s never been a success anywhere and I can’t even imagine who’d look at him and think ‘he could do a job’

I love how she keeps banging on about the same point as well but pretending it hasn’t bothered her. It’s like when Alan Partridge says he’s not arsed about people shouting ‘ahaaaa’ at in the street, doesn’t bother him in the slightest and he actually quite likes it, so if they want to keep doing it that’s fine by him because ‘he could not give a fucking shit’

I’d have gone the other way. I wouldn’t have mentioned anything about sport whatsoever in the hope that he didn’t bring up anything about high jumping as it would have set me off ranting about pointless sports such as that. I still don’t know how Greg Rutherford is carving out any kind of media career. Who gives a shit about someone who’s talent is jumping into a sandpit. I’m aware people could say similar about other sports but I can’t imagine anything worse than hearing him drone on about it over dinner.

People are forgetting the Funes Mori simpleton and his attack on Origi. I maintain that set him back years, he was in unreal form until that happened

I always thought the Kuyt one was reckless but looked like he was trying to block the flight of the ball and went across Neville rather than towards him. Probably a red card for being out of control but it’s a stretch for someone to point to it as an attempt to hurt someone. I do still wince about that Gerrard two-footer though. Can’t take him anywhere!

I’m seeing a lot of whataboutery from the scummy bastards around Robertson on Allan. They don’t understand the difference between a flick out in frustration and an actual assault. Mina’s also lucky to get away with leading with his arm in the lead up to the Richarlison one.