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Geoff Woade

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About Geoff Woade

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  1. Geoff Woade

    Have a rant thread

    I was a lot younger, one of them where at the time you’re like ‘is this really happening?’ I used to be quite naive as well, if he’d have touched me inappropriately I’d have probably passed it off as normal as well.
  2. Geoff Woade

    Have a rant thread

    My dentist is a fucking joke. Had 2 teeth right at the back that are basically fucked, told him to just pull them out but he insisted on fixing them even though even I could feel it was pointless. The repairs have now broke and they are really uncomfortable so will be coming out anyway when I can actually get in. The last one was a piss taker too. Just decided to switch from private to NHS without anything else changing except the price going from about 17 quid a check up to 70. He was sorting something with the drill on one tooth and as he took it out chipped my front tooth, I actually saw the piece fly past my eyes and at the same time saw his eyes go wide and then he carried on like nothing happened. On the way out he poked his head round the door and told his receptionist to knock a tenner off my bill. I still don’t know why I didn’t say anything, it’s like when you have a shit meal at a restaurant but say it’s great when they ask how everything is.
  3. Geoff Woade

    Static Caravans

    More like double length (not unlike yours truly) Talking about 37 feet by about 13 feet for a static.
  4. Geoff Woade

    Static Caravans

    It used to be great and fairly affordable, we had a static when I was a kid. It was about 15 grand for a nice caravan which you could finance over a few years and the site fees were reasonable. Meant that you could in effect trade 9 months worth of weekend plus school holidays there for the price of a ‘decent’ holiday abroad. Now it’s scandalous. My mate has just got one. He’s paid 50k for a nice but not spectacular caravan and site fees are about the 8k pa already mentioned. He also has to upgrade every few years. He has the option to rent it out when he’s not there but it would barely cover the site fees due to the commission they want on the bookings. They are boss trips away but overall you’re best just renting one, there’ll always be something available last minute and not too far away and you aren’t invested or tied to one place.
  5. Geoff Woade

    Wrongful Conviction Shows, Films and Documentaries

    Avery is guilty as sin but I’m willing to accept the police did what they needed to in order ensure they got the conviction by fair means or foul.
  6. Geoff Woade

    Most cringeworthy thing you’ve ever witnessed

    I thought he sounded like a cunt until you said about the telling those lads he’d got a cash refund. I’d have been forced to forgive him for everything else.
  7. Geoff Woade

    Wanking into socks?

    If there is a synchronised one please can it be at one of 7.30am, 11.15am, 2.30pm 5.30pm, 8pm or 10.30pm? Just so I don’t have to break my normal routine.
  8. Geoff Woade

    Most cringeworthy thing you’ve ever witnessed

    I’ve about 846 I could do just of my own, never mind what other people have done. Top 3 that keep me up at night 1) Moaning at college about being knackered, pointing to the terminally ill lad in our group of mates who was in a wheelchair and saying ‘it’s alright for you’ 2) Best mans speech at my best mates wedding and deciding it would be a good idea to say (in a serious way but as a joke) that I knew his Mrs was the right one for him by the way she stuck with him during his heroin addiction. Didn’t go down well with either family nor his senior colleagues in the medical profession. His parents still give me the cold shoulder and start muttering if I’m around. 3) As a teenager, I found my brothers homework book and decided to write as if I was him a confession about a graphic gay sex encounter with one of his best mates at the school. I thought he’d notice, kick off and scrub it out. He didn’t notice and handed it in. I still remember coming home and my parents sat with the homework book on the kitchen table. Genuinely thought my dad was going to beat me to death.
  9. Geoff Woade

    US Election 2020 Thread

    I guarantee you that she will have felt safer doing what she did because she’ll have thought she’d have been seen as ‘one of their own’ by security forces. It would never had occurred to her she’d be seen as ‘the bad guy’.
  10. Geoff Woade

    John Bishop

    I took the ex and my parents to see him years ago at the Echo. I didn’t laugh once. He did a bit about wanking on an airplane which was spectacularly unfunny the first time but then kept calling back to it. I don’t think he understands diminishing returns.
  11. Geoff Woade


    It was suggested to me by the school that beyond that it was that some didn’t have internet etc. I’ve offered to buy a couple of laptops / tablets for kids in my daughters class and I’ll see if my work would provide some so they’re looking into it but they said it’s not as easy as that. It’s a real mess, this could have been sorted a while ago.
  12. Geoff Woade

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    Local newspaper stories that have people moaning about getting a parking ticket, not even that they disagree it was correctly issued, just always along the lines of ‘I should be let off because *insert reason* I have no time at all for parking companies, think the fines are outrageous but we know this. Tonnes of people get caught but I’ve no idea why papers would even entertain them. They always try for an angle as well, Barbara, 57 and who in 2005 broke her arm said, ‘yes I got back to the car an hour later than I paid for but it was an honest mistake so I think they should show some common sense and let me off, my dad was born during the war for gods sake’ Usually accompanied by a picture of them sat on the edge of their armchair, walking stick leaning against it, full compo face, holding the letter in one hand and looking through a photo album of dead relatives with the other. Box of tissues on the arm of the chair to show they’ve been crying at the stress of it. Then the article ends with a line from someone at the council who’d been forced to comment saying the ticket was correctly issued because the person overstayed. What a waste of ink and everybody’s time.
  13. Geoff Woade

    January 2021 Transfer Thread

    Pathetic, ‘U ok hun?’ ‘Dey only offered me 70 million over 5 years instead of 75, how am I supposed to live on that when I already only got paid 70 million on the last contract, takin da piss’
  14. Geoff Woade

    Other football - 2020/21

    How backwards do you have to be to not only attend but also pose for a picture? It must be a fucking nightmare running a football club and paying these biffs hundreds of thousands a week when they just bend you over every opportunity they get.
  15. Geoff Woade

    Have a rant thread

    Agree with all of the above. It’s why in my Reich firearms would be made legal again and permissible to be used with extreme prejudice in situations like this. Had similar the other week where one of a group of North Face children threw an egg at my car, then denied it whilst still holding the egg box. Don’t know what it is with kids like this that you can tell exactly what they’ll look like when they’re older, faces like potatoes, hair like weetabix. When i kicked off the only one of them with the bollocks to say anything back was a fat girl of about 14 who did that sort of waving her arms around thing and went ‘who do you think you’re talking to you posh little cunt?’!!!! I wasn’t sure how to deal with it so just went down the route of calling her a fat cunt but it felt hollow.