Mudface

Just ring 0898 300 1075, only £3 a minute.

Not as spooky as finding out the old fraud is still alive.

My local surgery. I've got rheumatoid arthritis and developed a flare last night- the usual massive lethargy and flu-like symptoms, coupled with sickening pain in my wrists and forearms. I barely slept due to the pain in my wrists and hips, and rang the injection clinic first thing for a steroid shot. They got back to me to me about lunchtime, but couldn't do anything as the clinics are suspended. In desperation- my son said it looked like I had two right wrists, the inflammation was so bad- I rang the surgery and asked the receptionist if I could be prescribed oral steroids. A GP rang back within 20 minutes, explained the drawbacks thoroughly (I'm already on Methotrexate and the steroids are an additional immuno-suppresive, so I'm now high risk), sorted out a prescription to my local pharmacy and within an hour, after sending my son up, I had the tablets. I'm still in a lot of pain, but it's eased so much since early afternoon I think I'm going to get some well-needed sleep. Never again will I grumble about having to wait 45 minutes for an appointment or bolshie receptionists, this was solid gold service from people who must have been enormously stretched. Small print- anyone making the obvious joke about wrist inflammation, the situation and porn is a Captain Obvious helmet.

I had to pull a couple of ticks off our dog last year, truly horrible things. I put the fuckers in a glass of bleach and they were still moving around when I flushed them down the drain. Anyone remember the ladybird plague in the 1976 drought? Absolutely loads of the little buggers everywhere, at least they're quite pleasant to look at and don't bite or anything.

Same, and my missus was crying. There was a good turn out here, plenty of noise and cheering.

Pussycat Dolls? To be honest, Nicole aside, they weren't that hot anyway.

OK. Where do we get them? And are they actually of any use compared to staying inside?

Don't do it. Particularly picking up crap that you don't need.

We have all these up Mook's arse, and so much more.

That's bizarre. Not naming anyone is completely understandable, but not reporting the figures is ridiculous. Unless they're just kept from the public, but released to scientific interests?

Lucky they got a big limit rise on the nation's credit card.

It's made a right fucking mess of my graph.

So it's going to be even more difficult to get my fags and ready meals 'cos of shortage of staff. Cunts.

Me too, I'll need it when my mates fly back in from China, party time.