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Jarvinja Ilnow

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Everything posted by Jarvinja Ilnow

  1. Jarvinja Ilnow

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    The tomato is a pearl amidst a pile of garbage.
  2. Jarvinja Ilnow

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    Fuck that shit, Mr Logic.
  3. Jarvinja Ilnow

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    The (very) painful truth.
  4. Jarvinja Ilnow

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    After much searching over at Kew, I uncovered the latest sensitive information released under the Official Secrets Act. Obviously suppressed by the redshite conspiracy cabal, which is why no Spurs fans or media outlets were able to hear about this shameful behaviour by Big Stand FC fans. BlueIsTheColour Player Valuation: £6m was speaking to my dad last night, he's a spurs fan and 69 years old. He went to Madrid on a coach which took 25 hours each way with his mate who is about 50 and his mates 2 kids of 11 and 9. After the game, which Liverpool won (obvs) they were walking back to the coach which was a fair walk away and they came across a bunch of RS 'fans'. My dads mate shouted something like 'you were lucky' to the group of RS, next thing he knew he was laid out smashing his head on the curb, unconscious, his 2 kids and my dad watching on in horror. Luckily the RS ran off rather than giving him a good kicking too!My dad only just told me even though it was months ago cos hes been having as hard time with it, having nightmares, thinking what could have happened. His mate came round and they got back on the coach as the Spanish police didn't want to know and were more likely to give them a baton than chase after the RS. So for 25 hours my dad was sitting there terrified his mate would have concussion, or a blood clot or something, meanwhile looking after 2 terrified kids who just watched their dad get a smack.Nice!
  5. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Chelsea (N) Super Cup Final 14/8

    Barkley on to try to break someone's leg as usual.
  6. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Top 10 Football Books

    I noticed that, too, about Peace. It's like he listened to Burt Bacharach's advice on song writing and decided to throw in some hooks but overdid it.
  7. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Top 10 Football Books

    Some great stories about Clough, Venables, Slur and Arry. Threats to sue him that were withdrawn by those loveable rogues. Bad times to live through, but enjoyable to reflect on what a proper fan fightback can achieve (green and gold tossers should read this). Wanky Leeds.
  8. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Alisson Becker

    As long as it's not a Joe Gomez "few weeks."
  9. Jarvinja Ilnow

    We’re not signing Mbappe or Sancho

    It's a bin-lid, lid.
  10. Jarvinja Ilnow

    The New Cricket Thread

    https://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/sledging-war-heats-up-ahead-of-second-ashes-test-at-lords/news-story/db115a67a8c42f11f03173e2e9836899 Sledging war heats up ahead of second Ashes Test at Lord’s The war of words before the second Ashes Test hit fiery new heights as England issued a brutal response to an “international incident”. Australia went 1-0 up in the Ashes and landed a hammer blow when it also took an early lead in the sledging stakes, but England has hit back as the war of words before the second Test escalated to fiery new levels. While James Pattinson ripping in to Jason Roy for complaining about the stump microphone was about as testy as it got between the two sides at Edgbaston, the far more entertaining sledgefest has taken place beyond the boundary rope between two foes with a rivalry as fierce as the one on the cricket pitch. Of course, we’re talking about the battle of the breakfast spreads — Marmite vs Vegemite. Marmite threw the first punch by handing out free jars to spectators in Birmingham in an effort to convert Aussie fans before Vegemite took out a full-page ad in UK newspaper The Daily Mirror to ram home the fact the Aussies had demolished the hosts by 251 runs in the series opener. Just as the referee was preparing to call off the fight, Marmite scrambled back off the canvas. It retaliated with its own newspaper ad, featuring text over a yellow page with a jar of Marmite underneath. And it was done playing nice, this time hitting Australia below the belt. “Dear Vegemite, we might not taste like Australia, but love it or hate it, we won’t be tampering with it,” the ad read. “See you at the home of cricket. #MarmyArmy.”
  11. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Daniel Sturridge - 2020

    Because he demands a high salary to sit on THE BENCH!!
  12. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Other Football - 2019/20

    Well done, mate - an Orc quoted this on GOT in the third edition of their 'Fears of a witch-hunt' anti-red thread! Don't think they mentioned you by name, though, sadly.
  13. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Running

    Not running - just walking - but can anyone recommend a GPS type watch? I'm almost at the stage of getting around without a crutch, and needing to build up strength in my limbs after long-term illnesses. It's a bit of a bastard being so unfit, and frustrating having to do baby steps but, having always been a competitive bastard, I need targets to keep motivated and challenge myself so as to not slack off. I used to have a Fitbit but want something more suited to GPS aspects, as I need to do very basic, short walks and then build them up over time. The ideal type of data would be heart rate, V02, and the ability to plan and record the walking routes. A decent battery life is desirable, as the Fitbit was a pain to keep charging every day. I've looked at the Garmin 5 as it allows you to design your routes and give them names. It's quite pricey, though, so am looking for any alternatives to consider. Hopefully, the good old GF can come up trumps again!
  14. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Norwich (H) 9/8 Premier League

    Scraped a win, despite VAR. Hopefully, we will be exposed as the disgusting Sky Sports 6 that we are. Hate football.
  15. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Norwich (H) 9/8 Premier League

    SALAH AKHBAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
  16. Jarvinja Ilnow

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-49276279 Mo Salah: Racist tweet about Liverpool star probed by Merseyside Police Yes. ps no proof yet but that doesn't matter.
  17. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Summer 2019 Transfer Thread

    Bit harsh, that.
  18. Jarvinja Ilnow

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    Except the tomatoes, which look like they haven't been in contact with a hot pan.
  19. Jarvinja Ilnow

    *Shakes head* Everton again.

    But it's a first. Another first.
  20. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Norwich (H) 9/8 Premier League

    Yes, he had a very unimpressive pre-season but this is where he will be judged.
  21. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Man City (Charity Shield - Wembley) 4/8/19

    Lose this one, and you're toast. Lifey toast.
  22. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Summer 2019 Transfer Thread

    Not sure he knows what his best position is.
  23. Jarvinja Ilnow

    When are we likely to get definitive stadium news?

    Not until that first spade goes into the ground...
  24. Jarvinja Ilnow

    FSG are not shit

    You are not Chinese are you, AOT?
  25. Jarvinja Ilnow

    Irritating celebrity fans

    You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanise my tires post-haste. I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which is the deceleratrix.
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