gkmacca

I guess, to translate, you're a fucking thick cunt. A bit weird for asking for confirmation, but I guess that's the kind of thing that fucking thick cunts do.

I get the basic role of commentators for these games - although their core audience will be fans of both sides, their aim is tro draw in and keep the neutrals, so if one team scores they'll get excited if the other team comes close to equalising. I get that. But Tyler, he's a piece of work these days. He sounds like he's in tears when we're close to winning. I've no idea what his problem is but I just turn the sound down, first to low and eventually to zero, as he drones on for our games.

I would have liked Shaq on the bench, otherwise a good-looking selection.

I'm genunely unsure what goalkeeping coaches can do beyond, you know, push a bit and work on the analysis. Take Pickford (please!) - a coach can't make him taller, and probably can't really make him concentrate better (same went for David James), and can't stop that weird way in which he seems to get spooked. In the case of Ming, for example, I guess a coach could have worked to improve the basics, but IMHO I suspect you're not going to do much more than bring out the talent that's there. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've always been sceptical about those expectations regarding the transformation of a so-so keeper into a really good one. If they don't already have the all-round talents and the determination, I doubt it can be cultivated.

It only started with poor old Achterberg when Reina, great keeper though he'd been, decided to feast on crisps and god knows what else, and generally lose the fight to stay fit, when Achterberg arrived. Realisng what a state he now was in, Reina started pining publicly for his last coach, as if that was the only problem, and everyone hated Achterberg. Since then Achterberg has had to try to improve Ming and Karius - oi, John, try and cure all known diseases, while you're at it, mate - and yet he's been blamed for all that they've done wrong. Alisson seems to like him. The younger keepers are coming on well. Achterberg is doing okay.

Carragher seems to be a contrary rentaquote. In other words a dutiful Sky employee.

He's going to be excellent. Why fans declare they're disappointed in him when he's hardly had the ball is exasperating. Corners: atrocious delivery. Attempted passes to him: usually crap. But write him off on the basis of that, first match in ages, new team, new league, yup, that's enough to damn him. Bloody hell.

He chose the wrong pass time and time again. It's been going on for ages.

The backup option for a backdown club.

Great win, so-so performance. Mo's decision-making is shite at the minute. I love Bobby but don't try back heels in the centre circle without even looking when we're under the cosh. That young defender of theirs looks like Forrest Whittaker, which is quite off-putting. We looked tired out for the last twenty minutes, even though we'd had a rest, which is a bit baffling. But we won!

I wish Mo would wake up. His dozy passing has been a feature for most of the season. Then again, if he scores another great goal he's forgiven. (But do wake up, Mo!).

Heysel for obvious (multiple) reasons. In 89, I just felt too much sympathy for the players; they were shattered. But otherwise, I actually felt worse than after most other defeats when we drew against Palace in Rodgers' title chasing season. I'd seen bad defeats before, but I don't think I've seen such a witless, knee-knocking collapse as that one at such a crucial time. It felt like a defeat, and a terrible one at that.

i never expected that, at all. Brilliant performance.

Rebecca Long Bailey, a supposed left winger, must be one of the thickest politicians around. I remember her when she first got over-promoted, saying, 'Erm, I like to think of socialism as caring capitalism'. And I like to think of it properly, you cloth-eared, feather-brained buffoon. Unbelievable that dullards like these are now in contention for the leadership.

Shaq is like a balloon that's been blown up too much and ends up bursting. His muscles are a great advert for not exercising.