Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[ZonkoVille77]

Pervert caught pleasuring himself in slurry for third time (From This is The West Country)

 

Fuckin hell. what's wrong with some people !! hahaha

[Lee909]

I like this comment

 

 

matthewbrowning says...

12:35pm Thu 24 Mar 11

 

I would like to object to the "DEVON" headline of this article.

 

Redruth is in Cornwall and this man is clearly Cornish (Camborne is also in Cornwall).

 

Readers unfamiliar with the geography of Britain may inappropriately be led to believe that this sort of thing could possibly be allowed to happen in Devon.

 

Please correct at your earliest convenience.

[Trumo]

I just saw that 'Poo Man' article above where it says he did a runner. I guess the police were quickly on his trail then.

[Uncle_Meat]

Not quite serious, but..

 

Quite windy here today, just talking to a mate of mine on the phone at the shop counter and someone walked past trying to put their umbrella up. A gust of wind caught them, spun them around and they faceplanted right into my window. Full on squashy nose faceplant, complete with both hands either side of their head before they slid down a bit and got their balance. Fuck me, I was in tears laughing at that.

 

I don't think my CCTV "sees" out of that window properly, what with light balance and all that, but I'm going to have a look and youtube the fuck out of it if it does.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Woman by ours on crutches fell over this morning when I was walking the dog. People got out of cars to help, I had to cross the road to hide my mirth

[RoboRiise]

Manchester Evening News on Tuesday:

Drinker wanted for 'disgusting' attacks on women in Ramsbottom pub

November 20, 2012

 

 

A pub-goer is wanted by police for wiping faeces on women drinkers.

 

Both of the 'disgusting' attacks took place at The Oakes pub on Bridge Street, Ramsbottom.

 

The man was spotted walking into the men's toilets before reappearing and wiping his own faeces on the women's arms.

 

Police have now released a CCTV image of a man, who is wanted on suspicion of assault.

 

Pc Rachael Allen, based at Bury police station, said: “This is a disgusting act that has left two women deeply shocked by what has happened. This was a completely unprovoked assault by a man the victims did not know and we believe the same person is responsible for both incidents. The image captured on CCTV is very clear and I believe that someone will recognise the man. If you do, I urge you to contact police. Alternatively, if you were at the pub at the time of both incidents and saw something suspicious, please call us.”

 

The first incident happened on October 12 at around 11.30pm.

 

The 46-year-old victim noticed the man wipe something on her arm. It was only after he walked away she realised it was excrement.

 

The second assault took place less than two weeks later on October 25 at around 9pm.

 

A 52-year-old woman felt her clothing being touched before looking down and discovering human waste on her sleeve.

 

The man was white, aged 45-50, of medium build and around 5ft 8 to 6ft tall. He had short cropped hair that was grey at the side and wore a dark jacket, check shirt with a grey t-shirt underneath.

 

Anyone with information should phone police on 0161 856 8122 or the independent charity Crimestoppers, anonymously, on 0800 555 111.

 

Drinker wanted for 'disgusting' attacks on women in Ramsbottom pub | Manchester Evening News - menmedia.co.uk

[Chocoholic]

It was Manchester. That headline reads like an ad.

[VladimirIlyich]

'Ramsbottom?' 'Faeces?' He is having a laugh isnt he?

[Mendoza]

Reminds me of this one from a few years back

 

BBC News - Attacker throws animal semen over girls in Bury

[Mendoza]

Car enthusiast Chris Downes left devastated after classic American Lincoln is crushed by a lamppost | Mail Online

[AngryOfTuebrook]

BBC News - Draft NI abortion guidelines published by minister

 

Northern Irish Health Minster issues draft guidance on abortion. Not a subject that's chock full-o-laffs. Until you realise that the minister is called Edwin Poots.

 

Can we lobby to get the issue of flatulence up the agenda, just to get him to talk publicly about it?

[Liverpool lad]

Girls crying in work, fuck knows why they are crying, could be serious but it makes me crease up

[TheHowieLama]

Turdseye's new career.

[Furmedge]

Sister in laws brother smacked his head, unconscious, come back round and has amnesia. Thinks he's 13 when in fact mid thirties. Keeps asking when he's back in school. Told my brother to tell him his name is Bobby Davro. Awaiting update.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Sister in laws brother smacked his head, unconscious, come back round and has amnesia. Thinks he's 13 when in fact mid thirties. Keeps asking when he's back in school. Told my brother to tell him his name is Bobby Davro. Awaiting update.

 

Get him to write to Jim'll Fix It.

[lifetime fan]

EDIT: Probably too far.

[Captain Turdseye]

Turdseye's new career.

 

Listen, everyone knows you're jealous because Tommy Lawrence likes me more than you. You need to get over it, you're starting to sound bitter.

[Trumo]

Sister in laws brother smacked his head, unconscious, come back round and has amnesia. Thinks he's 13 when in fact mid thirties. Keeps asking when he's back in school. Told my brother to tell him his name is Bobby Davro. Awaiting update.

 

Did you have this is mind?

 

[YOUTUBE]TxYBpZ70y70[/YOUTUBE]

 

You could even tell him he's met the Pope.

[Fugitive]

EDIT: Probably too far.

 

I demand you post it. It's the GF and nothing is off limits. If anyone objects, tell them to fuck off. You'd be amazed at the amount of pm's and negs I've been getting lately about the content of my posts. I love it when I offend people, it gives me great pleasure.

[Lurtz]

EDIT: Probably too far.

 

I demand you post it. It's the GF and nothing is off limits. If anyone objects, tell them to fuck off. You'd be amazed at the amount of pm's and negs I've been getting lately about the content of my posts. I love it when I offend people, it gives me great pleasure.

 

Fuge knows.

[Fugitive]

If anyone one does take offence to it, they need a beating and asked the question 'why open a thread about things you laugh at that you probably shouldn't' if you're easily offended?

[lifetime fan]

I meant 'too far' as in probably too much information about the wife but fuck it.

 

 

We're (Me, her and her parents) meeting with her specialist and he's talking through the side effects of chemo, he then starts talking about IVF and a whole load of other stuff before he just casually drops into conversation they advise men to wear a condom if their partners are having chemo.

 

And Carly justs blurts out - 'I've a tumour in my vagina and backside, he's not getting either'.

[Dr Nowt]

When I was in my teens me and a mate were waiting outside another mate's one Sunday afternoon, when we heard an almighty bang up the road then saw people milling around the area it came from in frantic droves.

 

Walked up and a lass was screeching hysterically about how "she threw it up there, he just went to get it." Turns out "it" was his wallet after a row about him being too pissed, "there" was an electricity substation roof, "she" was called Shelley Fry and he" was her boyfriend in an Everton shirt.

 

Through sheer morbid curiosity a well-worn route was followed to the top of an adjacent car park, and it was nay a pretty sight. A grown man with his whole life ahead of him, in an Everton shirt. In short order the fire brigade turned up to retrieve him, but confirming this wasn't his day on an epic scale, it abruptly started absolutely pissing it down so they had to wait until it stopped before they could touch him.

 

We went back to my car and waited as the emergency services had blocked the road, eventually the lad we were there to see came home, stopped for a chat then moseyed off to do his own rubber necking. After a while he strolled back and breathlessly told us "no need to worry, it's good news." "He's never survived that?". "I doubt it, no, but they've found his wallet."

[FieldingMellish]

Did you have this is mind?

 

[YOUTUBE]TxYBpZ70y70[/YOUTUBE]

 

You could even tell him he's met the Pope.

 

The comments section on that youtube vid cracked me up for some reason...

 

chescarino 10 months ago

 

did he died?

 

Jexington80 1 week ago

 

yes he did died.

[Total Longo]

A woman in my old work died of cancer and we (her work colleagues) were invited to the funeral. This woman liked a drink, so initially one of her pub mates made the most hilariously incoherent "speech" i have ever heard in my life, he was clearly wrecked when he got there. Fantastic stuff.

 

Secondly, a guy jumped up to play a "tribute" to Joan on his guitar ("Cavatina" as it turned out) and jogged up towards the front of the church, but failed to see the step halfway up, and went flying. To compound it he did that "look back at the step angrily as if it's the steps fault" thing which always kills me anyway. Anyway, me and my mate Si, were in bulk for the rest of the service, but oddly enough nobody else was laughing. And every time i see his shoulders going, it sets me off, it was ridiculous. Twenty minutes trying to suppress laughter, and for the most part failing miserably. To make matters worse we were sat right at the front and everyone must have just been glaring at us throughout.

 

Good times.