Liverpool lad

Cheers mate, I am not arsed if you miss the service due to traffic. I have family down South and actually took a detour on the way down to Melton Mowbray to sample the sausage rolls. I picked up other bits for the family too Both shame and delight in one mouthful, the shame of driving 150 miles for a sausage roll and the delightful taste

When I depart this earth can you lot look after the buffet for me? I want the pork pies brought in from Melton Mowbray that day

I enjoy it when people ask what you would do in a certain situation when all they want is validation of their own shit idea

I use my driveway, few miles from the city centre Hope this helps

People with shit internet playing online games

Mo Farah

He is just Ed Sheeran for scallies I heard somebody refer to him as something similar and I liked it

Anyone sum this up?

Everytime the camera pans to the crowd in the cricket There is no shortage of cunts

People who talk as though going on a few trips away makes them keen travellers

Donate the organs But not to Leave voters

I love stories of people who have achieved something and the prize twats who have stood in their way come out with utter tripe about testing them Add to that the daft cunts who inconvenience you massively along the way and at the end, you get 'you got there in the end' from them Hanging is too good for them

I run my kettle, toaster, microwave, dishwasher, dryer and washing machine off the same 6 plug gang adapter Well safer as I can turn them all off together when I leave the house

Leave it all on Get a smoke alarm to keep an eye on it all

Between the Reds and five aside, my free time to be romancing other women is limited I have also told her this