Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[Bjornebye]

She looks like Michael Gove on the bog after a 4 day beak binge 

[Elite]

She'd get a shag in 5 minutes if she joined Tinder.

 

Well maybe 10, would depend on how fast I can get to her house.

[VladimirIlyich]

And I thought the Minions were simply cartoon characters.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

The Co-Op Arena stuff in Manchester is funny. Another event cancelled tonight, at the last minute after they’d already admitted some fans. 
 

The general piss up/brewery side of it all is the funny bit. The serious bit is the reason for tonight’s cancellation - steel bars falling from an air conditioning unit on the gantry into the actual arena itself. Bit mad, that! 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

10 hours ago, Jack the Sipper said:

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-68891090

Jabba the Slutt. 

[VladimirIlyich]

I think she's been hawking herself around.

[Vincent Vega]

 

[Vincent Vega]

 

[Section_31]

That's brilliant 

[Kevin D]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2e0662y19yo
 

CCTV footage of the day Carolyn Woods first met Mark Acklom is the only footage of them together - he claimed being a spy meant he couldn't be photographed

She said the lies he told her included claiming he was an undercover MI6 agent, often serving overseas with the British security services.

 

On one occasion, Ms Woods said she saw him walk calmly past armed guards outside the spy agency's HQ in London.

 

She now believes the guards were actors and the incident was staged.

[Kevin D]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/05/14/driver-deliberately-ran-over-ebike-rider-teach-lesson/
 

A driver deliberately rammed and killed an e-bike rider in a hit-and-run to “teach him a lesson” for showboating and pulling wheelies in the street, a court has heard.

 

Abdirahman Ibrahim, 20, is accused of murdering Liam Jones, 22, after chasing and twice crashing into the back of him in Stechford, Birmingham.

 

Liam suffered catastrophic injuries and died at the scene after being catapulted from the motorised vehicle into a concrete post on Aug 1 last year.

 

A court heard Ibrahim had hunted the electric bike rider down in his Seat Leon after being “wound up” by Liam and a friend doing wheelies along Moat Lane.

 

It is alleged he took “umbrage” at Liam’s showboating to “such an extent that he wanted to teach him a lesson”.

[Kevin D]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg6766nzx39o
 

Mr Bin Omran told his rescuers he had at times seen his family from his prison, but claimed he had been unable to call out for help “because of a spell that his captor had cast on him”, local media reported.

[Vincent Vega]

 

 

 

[Bjornebye]

24 minutes ago, Vincent Vega said:

 

 

 

The Bushwackers are still going then! 

[Section_31]

The troubled son of famed chef Marco Pierre White been jailed for robbing a Grade II-listed cafe after he was identified by the distinctive tattoos on his legs while escaping from a window.

Marco Pierre White Jr is serving a 41-week prison sentence after being caught smashing into a Bath delicatessen with a champagne bottle and stealing £250 in May.

The 29-year-old was identified by authorities after his trousers fell down revealing his distinctive tattoos on his legs.

[littletedwest]

37 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

The troubled son of famed chef Marco Pierre White been jailed for robbing a Grade II-listed cafe after he was identified by the distinctive tattoos on his legs while escaping from a window.

Marco Pierre White Jr is serving a 41-week prison sentence after being caught smashing into a Bath delicatessen with a champagne bottle and stealing £250 in May.

The 29-year-old was identified by authorities after his trousers fell down revealing his distinctive tattoos on his legs.

Genius some criminals.

 

There was one on 24 hours in police custody other week. Stabs a bloke, shoots him. Escaped in a car and burnt it out.

 

But he has actually bought the car and still had the vehicle registration documents at home and had the victims gold chain on when police nick him. 

 

His Co accused had left a balaclava at the scene with his dna on. 

[Trumo]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

The troubled son of famed chef Marco Pierre White been jailed for robbing a Grade II-listed cafe after he was identified by the distinctive tattoos on his legs while escaping from a window.

Marco Pierre White Jr is serving a 41-week prison sentence after being caught smashing into a Bath delicatessen with a champagne bottle and stealing £250 in May.

The 29-year-old was identified by authorities after his trousers fell down revealing his distinctive tattoos on his legs.

 

What are the chances that the champagne cost more than £250 before he used the bottle to break in?

[Section_31]

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/easyjet-plane-wheelchair-stranded-belfast-airport-b2567341.html

 

 

An author was “distraught” after she was left abandoned on the tarmac alongside two other wheelchair users when a plane took off without them.

[Elite]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

An author was “distraught” after she was left abandoned on the tarmac alongside two other wheelchair users when a plane took off without them.

Ghost Writers.

[Mudface]

3 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/easyjet-plane-wheelchair-stranded-belfast-airport-b2567341.html

 

 

An author was “distraught” after she was left abandoned on the tarmac alongside two other wheelchair users when a plane took off without them.

 

Huh? That's weird, people with disabilities and who need assistance are usually boarded first.

[Section_31]

"You always say, ‘Oh they won’t go without us,’ but they actually did, they went without us and took my luggage as well,” she told the BBC."

 

 

Outstanding.

[Elite]

Chrome Alone 

[Fugitive]

‘But when she was escorted to the steps, they were pulled away and the pilot ‘shook his head’ while making ‘a signal’ to suggest she was not able to board.’

 

 

[Section_31]

If I won the lottery I always said I was gonna buy a bus and just drive it around all day not stopping for people.

[Bjornebye]

I’m picturing them just sat there watching the plane taxi up the runway then take off into the clouds hahahaha