Serious things you shouldn't laugh at

[AngryOfTuebrook]

House fire started by a squirrel disrupts funeral procession through Romford - News - Romford Recorder

 

A funeral car broke rank mid-procession and sped off toward its passenger’s house – where a squirrel had started a fire.

 

Friend of the deceased and former Havering councillor Alby Tebbutt, 73, was in the final car of a procession in Brentwood Road in the afternoon of Friday, March 8, when he received an unwelcome phone call.

 

“I had a fellow in my house putting a new bathroom in,” he told the Recorder. “He had the window open and saw smoke coming out the garage roof.

 

“So he rang the fire brigade and then rang me.”

 

Mr Tebbutt initially believed the caller was pulling his leg – but as it dawned on him the fire was no wind-up he realised he had to get home, funeral or no funeral.

 

“I said to the driver: ‘I’m telling you, my house is on fire. Go left here.’

 

“The driver said: ‘I can’t go left – I’m in a funeral.’

 

“I said: ‘Never mind that. Turn left.’”

 

The driver did as he was bidden and chauffeured the former Tory councillor, along with a number of family members of the deceased, to his Main Road home in Romford – pausing while Mr Tebbutt negotiated his way through a road block set up so the fire brigade could run a hose across the street.

 

He arrived to find three fire crews battling the flames, which ended up damaging 50 per cent of the garage and costing upwards of £20,000.

 

But it wasn’t until a fire investigation team pinpointed the cause of the incident that the strangest aspect of the afternoon’s proceedings came to light – the fire had been started by a squirrel.

 

A fire brigade spokesman said the mischievous rodent had chewed through the cable of a fluorescent light, sparking an electrical fire that quickly spread through the garage.

 

“It’s nuts to think that squirrels can start fires, but that’s exactly what happened here,” he admitted. “We think it was nesting in the garage and caused the blaze by chewing through some cables.”

 

Self-proclaimed “animal lover” Mr Tebbutt said he was nearing the end of his tether with the rodents.

 

“I put nuts out for the birds but the squirrels keep eating them,” he revealed. “Whatever contraption I put up, they seem to beat me. It’s a battle between me and the squirrels.

 

“I put up with that but now they’ve set my house on fire I’ve decided I’m going to shoot them all.”

 

Under UK law, it is legal to shoot grey squirrels but illegal to cause them unnecessary pain.

 

The RSPCA website warns that “squirrels may suffer if the shooting is not accurate”.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I love the way this escalates - "They steal my fackin' nats, I put a fackin' contraption around them, so the cants only go an' torch my gaff. Nah that's goin' too far. It's time to get the toys aht."

[BCM]

Went into the bank today to pay a cheque in, stood there at the desk talking to this bird behind the screen when in walks this scruffy fella with glasses looking around a bit sheepish.

Anyway he goes to the counter next to me and hands this bank clerk a cheque, and the clerk turns round and goes "which account would you like this in sir".

And as i half turn round to acknowledge him he puts his hand to his throat to activate his voice box and ...........well...... i think you know where this is going.

 

Felt for the bloke of course, but it does take you aback when you hear one close up.

[lifetime fan]

House fire started by a squirrel disrupts funeral procession through Romford - News - Romford Recorder

 

A funeral car broke rank mid-procession and sped off toward its passenger’s house – where a squirrel had started a fire.

 

Friend of the deceased and former Havering councillor Alby Tebbutt, 73, was in the final car of a procession in Brentwood Road in the afternoon of Friday, March 8, when he received an unwelcome phone call.

 

“I had a fellow in my house putting a new bathroom in,” he told the Recorder. “He had the window open and saw smoke coming out the garage roof.

 

“So he rang the fire brigade and then rang me.”

 

Mr Tebbutt initially believed the caller was pulling his leg – but as it dawned on him the fire was no wind-up he realised he had to get home, funeral or no funeral.

 

“I said to the driver: ‘I’m telling you, my house is on fire. Go left here.’

 

“The driver said: ‘I can’t go left – I’m in a funeral.’

 

“I said: ‘Never mind that. Turn left.’”

 

The driver did as he was bidden and chauffeured the former Tory councillor, along with a number of family members of the deceased, to his Main Road home in Romford – pausing while Mr Tebbutt negotiated his way through a road block set up so the fire brigade could run a hose across the street.

 

He arrived to find three fire crews battling the flames, which ended up damaging 50 per cent of the garage and costing upwards of £20,000.

 

But it wasn’t until a fire investigation team pinpointed the cause of the incident that the strangest aspect of the afternoon’s proceedings came to light – the fire had been started by a squirrel.

 

A fire brigade spokesman said the mischievous rodent had chewed through the cable of a fluorescent light, sparking an electrical fire that quickly spread through the garage.

 

“It’s nuts to think that squirrels can start fires, but that’s exactly what happened here,” he admitted. “We think it was nesting in the garage and caused the blaze by chewing through some cables.”

 

Self-proclaimed “animal lover” Mr Tebbutt said he was nearing the end of his tether with the rodents.

 

“I put nuts out for the birds but the squirrels keep eating them,” he revealed. “Whatever contraption I put up, they seem to beat me. It’s a battle between me and the squirrels.

 

“I put up with that but now they’ve set my house on fire I’ve decided I’m going to shoot them all.”

 

Under UK law, it is legal to shoot grey squirrels but illegal to cause them unnecessary pain.

 

The RSPCA website warns that “squirrels may suffer if the shooting is not accurate”.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I love the way this escalates - "They steal my fackin' nats, I put a fackin' contraption around them, so the cants only go an' torch my gaff. Nah that's goin' too far. It's time to get the toys aht."

 

 

Simply brilliant.

[VladimirIlyich]

House fire started by a squirrel disrupts funeral procession through Romford - News - Romford Recorder

 

A funeral car broke rank mid-procession and sped off toward its passenger’s house – where a squirrel had started a fire.

 

Friend of the deceased and former Havering councillor Alby Tebbutt' date=' 73, was in the final car of a procession in Brentwood Road in the afternoon of Friday, March 8, when he received an unwelcome phone call.

 

“I had a fellow in my house putting a new bathroom in,” he told the Recorder. “He had the window open and saw smoke coming out the garage roof.

 

“So he rang the fire brigade and then rang me.”

 

Mr Tebbutt initially believed the caller was pulling his leg – but as it dawned on him the fire was no wind-up he realised he had to get home, funeral or no funeral.

 

“I said to the driver: ‘I’m telling you, my house is on fire. Go left here.’

 

“The driver said: ‘I can’t go left – I’m in a funeral.’

 

“I said: ‘Never mind that. Turn left.’”

 

The driver did as he was bidden and chauffeured the former Tory councillor, along with a number of family members of the deceased, to his Main Road home in Romford – pausing while Mr Tebbutt negotiated his way through a road block set up so the fire brigade could run a hose across the street.

 

He arrived to find three fire crews battling the flames, which ended up damaging 50 per cent of the garage and costing upwards of £20,000.

 

But it wasn’t until a fire investigation team pinpointed the cause of the incident that the strangest aspect of the afternoon’s proceedings came to light – the fire had been started by a squirrel.

 

A fire brigade spokesman said the mischievous rodent had chewed through the cable of a fluorescent light, sparking an electrical fire that quickly spread through the garage.

 

“It’s nuts to think that squirrels can start fires, but that’s exactly what happened here,” he admitted. “We think it was nesting in the garage and caused the blaze by chewing through some cables.”

 

Self-proclaimed “animal lover” Mr Tebbutt said he was nearing the end of his tether with the rodents.

 

“I put nuts out for the birds but the squirrels keep eating them,” he revealed. “Whatever contraption I put up, they seem to beat me. It’s a battle between me and the squirrels.

 

“I put up with that but now they’ve set my house on fire I’ve decided I’m going to shoot them all.”

 

Under UK law, it is legal to shoot grey squirrels but illegal to cause them unnecessary pain.

 

The RSPCA website warns that “squirrels may suffer if the shooting is not accurate”.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I love the way this escalates - "They steal my fackin' nats, I put a fackin' contraption around them, so the cants only go an' torch my gaff. Nah that's goin' too far. It's time to get the toys aht."[/quote']

 

Not sure what's funnier, the fact that there is a rogue band of squirrel firestarters or that its happened to a former Tory councillor!

They must be Red Squirrels.

[Tom R]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

[stevebaby]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

Someone's made the video private.

I'd kill for a decent pie right now. I'm fucking starving.

[Tom R]

Someone's made the video private.

I'd kill for a decent pie right now. I'm fucking starving.

 

Soz. try again

 

[lifetime fan]

That's you isn't it Tom?!

[BCM]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

 

I laughed too.

 

Thats like something you would see in a cheap british zombie film. i expect simon pegg and his sidekick in the next scene

[stevebaby]

Soz. try again

 

That's superb!

[Redder Lurtz]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

 

Cracked me up too. See you in hell Thomas.

[VladimirIlyich]

That really was funny and surreal as fuck.

[Bjornebye]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

 

fucking hell.... bit soon isn't it????

 

what filling was it?

[TheHowieLama]

Englands World Cup chances.

[Robbo29]

I honestly don't care about Ingerrrrlunds chances, we are shit but we just wont admit it. We have absolutely zero chance at any competition. We get the occasional world class, outstanding player, but not enough to do well

[Fugitive]

Really tragic story on the news just now about a 14 year old girl from Wigan who was mauled to death by her 4 massive dogs.

 

She is from Wigan.

 

The dogs apparently killed her for... a pie.

 

Then, a ginger kid came on the air and kindly explained what happened:

 

I laughed.

 

See you in hell.

 

Brilliant

[Paulie Dangerously]

I laughed at Pie-gate too

[zigackly]

Simon's attempts on the Scottish Independence thread. Boy needs help.

[Remmie]

Englands World Cup chances.

 

I honestly don't care about Ingerrrrlunds chances, we are shit but we just wont admit it. We have absolutely zero chance at any competition. We get the occasional world class, outstanding player, but not enough to do well

No F**tie on the GF.

 

Both negged.

[Tom R]

That's you isn't it Tom?!

 

Who filmed it off the telly? yeah, obvs!

[TheHowieLama]

No F**tie on the GF.

 

 

 

Whatevra.

 

 

[stevebaby]

Have any further details emerged about the pie?

[Robbo29]

Yes, the dogs have eaten it

[stevebaby]

Yes, the dogs have eaten it

That's the real tragedy here.

[Robbo29]

all depends on the type of pie though