Furmedge

That ending! Nooooooooo!!!!

Got the final episode before the mid season break of Better Call Saul to watch tonight. I adore this show and gutted it's the final season but absolutely brilliant.

The dog feigning a shit. He gets in position and nothing comes out, leaving me to do a pretend pick up just so I don't end up on some Facebook ma's news feed about letting my dog shit everywhere because she watched me from 100 yards away not pick anything up.

Yours for just £880. Add a pair of socks for £150, I shit you not!

Reminds me of a joke I heard recently. What's the worst thing you've heard during sex? "Now then, now then, now then."

Joking aren't you? If I tried to get into a student union nowadays they'd think I'm there to pick up the kids for a lift home.

Standing behind a group of lads at the bar who are ordering one pint each rather than going in a round.

Strangely enough that's been me the last two nights and I'm off work today. I've done everything I need to do, and after something to eat I'm going to jump a shower and get in bed for a couple of hours before I pick the kids up from school.

I've been to more funerals than weddings in the last few years. Only positive is that you haven't got to spend money on a present for a funeral.

I'm planning a round the world trip for six months in the winter. Cheaper than sitting at home doing fuck all and paying for the gas and leccy.

That's boss that, mate.

Hippy McGee he'd be called round ours.

Fell down the stairs 17 days ago. Fell like a cartoon where my legs went above my head and hit every stair on the way down. Ended up with a bad back, a blue, black, yellow arse cheek and a huge cog on my arse. The bruising has finally gone down but the cog is still there and looks like my arse is misshapen! Sitting down is still very uncomfortable and if I sit a certain way it's like someone has hit me with a flame thrower, the pain is incredible. I work from home a fair bit so been standing at the kitchen worktop to work, rather than at a desk. Giving it another fortnight to improve or I'm off the quacks to get them grab my arse and take a feel.

I have a fantastic head of hair. I'd go as far as saying I've the best hair in our street, and by a distance too.

Sure you'll be able to afford a pint for the final after a week in Centerparcs? Place cleared me out a few years back. Remember being charged almost £70 for 3 meals and a drink each, and it was only burgers and hot dogs etc they sold.