The Garth Crooks Wisdom Thread

[House of Dirk]

Garth in the Sky with Diamonds.

[Lee909]

Cant win the title with our defence. 3 clean sheets in the past 4 games is terrible.

 

 

People do realise that of the 21 goals we have conceded through 19 games,7 were in two freak games. So 14 goals in the other 17 games.

 

 

Yeah we are a shamples

[VladimirIlyich]

i dont mind garth crooks surely he is there for comedy value comes across as a loon talking complete bollocks i dont know how anyone can take him seriously and we should include paul merson

Don't get me started on Merson,I hate the thick cunt and don't even think he's remotely funny. I cringe when he's on that SkySports thingy. Nothing wrong with having a normal regional accent but he's a dribble chin moron.

[Faustus]

In fairness to Merson, he has the self awareness to realise he's a mong. Crooks hasn't a Scooby and is downright obnoxious.

 

Merson's John Stones- Roberto Martinez- Men in Black diatribe still makes me chuckle.

[magicrat]

Crooks is the long lost heir to Icke .

Love the mental fucker

[ZonkoVille77]

He's the skin on top of frozen custard

[General Dryness]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBYpzPZzrqA

What the actual fuck is going on here?

[razor]

Garth Crooks understands the streets, man.  The mean streets of the Potteries.  You've got the Tunstall niggas and you have the Burslem niggas.  If you're white and from Leek, you're a dead man.

[General Dryness]

He didn't choose the cunt life, the cunt life chose him.

[KMD7]

Garth Crooks > Omar Little

[magicrat]

I think you're all persecuting an endangered species, The nutjob sports pundit was already confined to isolated pockets of the BBC when Icke was driven into exile. Pale imitations of genuine loons such as Lawrensen and Merson have fooled no-one but in Crooks we have the last of his species . A 24 carat fruit loop that should be treasured. 

[3 Stacks]

TOTW Jan 1st

 

On Valencia:

If there is one player they can count on, it's Valencia. The full-back is as safe as houses. Sometimes even exceptional defenders can't afford to be too proud to do what needs be done.

 

On Willian and Conte:

Liverpool boss Klopp and Manchester City counterpart Pep Guardiola spent the week stroking each other's artichokes prior to their meeting at Anfield, but neither of them can hold a candle to Antonio Conte and what he is doing with Willian and company at the moment.

 

On Pulis:

What Tony Pulis has going at The Hawthorns is nothing short of miraculous.

 

On Dele Alli:

Dele Alli is officially 'in the mood'. Just like the old Glenn Miller classic, the player looks upbeat and gets you on your feet.

[ZonkoVille77]

Officially a fucking fruit.

[Em City]

It's like Chris Eubank and Brother Mouzone had a special needs child together.

[cloggypop]

Stroking each other's artichokes?

[ZonkoVille77]

https://twitter.com/paddypower/status/815986141493075969?s=01

[ZonkoVille77]

I can't believe he's actually got something right

[Grinch]

He's a bit special

[3 Stacks]

Crooksy's latest biting commentary on Michael Dean:

 

I'm beginning to wonder if the Premier League can afford Mike Dean? He's bad for business.

 

When he sent off Southampton's Nathan Redmond for an innocuous trip on Tottenham's Dele Alli on 28 December I said then Dean should 'consider his position'. Now it's time for the Professional Game Match Official Board to carefully think through whether his judgement has become impaired.

 

He seems to be the only referee intent on ruining evenly balanced contests for the viewing public by sending players off totally unnecessarily. It's time for him to go.

[VladimirIlyich]

Crooksy's latest biting commentary on Michael Dean:

I'm beginning to wonder if the Premier League can afford Mike Dean? He's bad for business.

When he sent off Southampton's Nathan Redmond for an innocuous trip on Tottenham's Dele Alli on 28 December I said then Dean should 'consider his position'. Now it's time for the Professional Game Match Official Board to carefully think through whether his judgement has become impaired.

He seems to be the only referee intent on ruining evenly balanced contests for the viewing public by sending players off totally unnecessarily. It's time for him to go.

Dean is no different than most of the incompetent pea blowers in the League.

[Iceman]

Bad for business? Didn't he get the memo about a succesful yernited being good for the sake of the free world? 

[sir roger]

Crooksy's latest biting commentary on Michael Dean:

 

I'm beginning to wonder if the Premier League can afford Mike Dean? He's bad for business.

 

When he sent off Southampton's Nathan Redmond for an innocuous trip on Tottenham's Dele Alli on 28 December I said then Dean should 'consider his position'. Now it's time for the Professional Game Match Official Board to carefully think through whether his judgement has become impaired.

 

He seems to be the only referee intent on ruining evenly balanced contests for the viewing public by sending players off totally unnecessarily. It's time for him to go.

 

Unless it is against Liverpool, presumably.

[Ne Moe Imya]

It's like Chris Eubank and Brother Mouzone had a special needs child together.

 

Every time I come back to this thread this makes me laugh again.  Brilliant!

[thegreatelephant]

I think you're all persecuting an endangered species, The nutjob sports pundit was already confined to isolated pockets of the BBC when Icke was driven into exile. Pale imitations of genuine loons such as Lawrensen and Merson have fooled no-one but in Crooks we have the last of his species . A 24 carat fruit loop that should be treasured. 

 

Chris Sutton still somehow manages to survive in this habitat

[magicrat]

Chris Sutton still somehow manages to survive in this habitat

 

He's a pale imitation of Crooks,  Not since Icke have we have had a full blown space cadet on the BBC .