General Dryness

Great Boos up.

His surname is an anagram of MacVagina. And for that reason, I'm in, out, shake it all about.

An Australian who played for Everton. Double the cunt for your money.

Just noticed this person in the replies. It couldn't be. Could it? https://mobile.twitter.com/NantwichGirl

He probably speaks fluent canternese.

A 90th? Birthday? Fucking hell, that must have been some shindig. Disco biscuits galore.

One of the few things guaranteed in a mans life is that farts never cease to be amusing. And women will never understand it.

Nicola Sturgeon, thank you.

Jog on, Rommel.

I'd put the cunt in a fucking wheelchair. It would be the fair thing to do, he'd probably need some help as he'd be knackered from all the shagging he'd just done.

My dress sense is nowhere near good enough.

Tinned tomatoes can fuck off, as can the frozen hash browns. Beans should be in a ramekin or container of some sort. I may or may not want them, but it has to be my choice. Sausages are the cheap chippy jobs, mushrooms look underdone as does the bacon. And they've clearly done the eggs in rings, which just looks unnatural. In fact, the eggs make it look as if the plate is rolling it's eyes, which is what I did when I opened the thread and saw what you'd posted. Kill them all Doug. With a spoon.