The Garth Crooks Wisdom Thread

[Guest]

Put simply, Garth Crooks is a turbo-mong. And a thundercunt.

[Bjornebye]

From his team of the week column on the Beeb.

 

He's deranged.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

2nd in the league. Conceded 1 goal in 3 games without our best CB. What a twat.

[Jairzinho]

Xerxes on crack.

[Lee909]

Youd think we were conceded 3 a game the way these go on. We have conceded 21 goals,only 4 teams have conceded 19 or under.

 

We have scored tbe same amount as Southampton and Man U combined(18 more goals than Mourinho). But they could win it cause they can defend.

 

Out of them 21 goals 11 came in 4 games. We still got 7 points from 12 in them games.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

2nd in the league. Conceded 1 goal in 3 games without our best CB. What a twat.

 

Dare you question the oracle?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Garth Crooks ? What does some big hat wearing country singer know about " soccer "

[magicrat]

I like Garth Crooks for the very reason he makes me laugh and is completely bonkers.

No one takes him seriously and it a world of football punditry dominated by an ever growing band of agenda driven helmets he is a harmless side show. Only the BBC can still harbour such wackos and it will be a sad day when they all get swept aside by the Nevilles of this world.

[SlugTrail]

Xerxes..........etc

a good post in full.

[bizzle10]

i dont mind garth crooks surely he is there for comedy value comes across as a loon talking complete bollocks i dont know how anyone can take him seriously and we should include paul merson

[Joey8FrogsLegs]

Don't like Crooks, but saying we probably aren't good enough in defence and in goal to win the league isn't very controversial in my book.

[Bjornebye]

Don't like Crooks, but saying we probably aren't good enough in defence and in goal to win the league isn't very controversial in my book.

 

 

That part is. Highlighted brilliantly by Lord Lee a few posts above. 

[sir roger]

I assumed Garth was in on the joke & it was a bit like The Office.

[Lee909]

A third of the goals conceded in 2 games and half in 4 games. We have played 18

 

They are talking out there arse.

Only Chelsea and Spurs have great defenses and Spurs are not scoring enough goals. Chelsea favourites after that its up in the air. We have a good chance

[3 Stacks]

On Paul Pogba:

 

Pogba is only 23 and while I don't see a Bryan Robson or a Roy Keane (yet) there is still time.
 

What I do see, however, is a player coming to terms with the stage. We have lost some artistic giants in 2016: David Bowie, Alan Rickman and George Michael. All great performers who filled the stage with their presence. If Paul Pogba can do the same at Old Trafford then my prediction may only be out by just one season.

 

On Dele Alli and Mike Dean

 

As much as I really don't want to talk about Mike Dean again I'm starting to think that after his performance in Tottenham's demolition of Southampton the much heralded referee should seriously consider his position. He decided to send Nathan Redmond off for a clumsy trip which clearly impeded Alli when a penalty was punishment enough. To send the player off was cruel, bearing in mind Redmond had originally fouled the player outside the box. Once again Dean ruined a perfectly good contest with his over-officious nonsense. Thank goodness Alli saved the day with two moments of sheer inspiration.

 

On Toure:

 

Meanwhile Pep Guardiola, who audaciously left Toure out on a matter of principle earlier in the season, insists that it will be tough for City to catch Chelsea. Who does he think he's trying to kid? He may say that to us publicly but he knows that football is so unpredictable that anything is possible in a title chase. Just ask Liverpool's Steven Gerrard.

 

 

Crooksy is back to his best. That Pogba bit is just insane.

[Jairzinho]

[Jairzinho]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBYpzPZzrqA

[Carvalho Diablo]

That's what happens when Roger DeCoursey rams his fist up your bottom.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

He looks like he is constantly being anally probed by aliens. 

[Carvalho Diablo]

He looks like he is constantly being anally probed by aliens.

 

And enjoying it, just a little too much.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

And enjoying it, just a little too much.

 

I reckon they fail to take the air out of him afterwards, he seems to be bloating for fun. 

[cloggypop]

[Joey8FrogsLegs]

That part is. Highlighted brilliantly by Lord Lee a few posts above.

Well I disagree. Of course with the attacking power we have it's possible that we'll win the league. But I don't think it's very likely, the three main reasons being that our squad is too thin and that we're not strong enough in defence and in goal.

 

I'd say out of the back five Clyne, Matip and Milner are good enough to play for any team in this league. The others are not, and over a season you normally need more than five players for those five positions.

 

Our defensive, and attacking, play is very dependent on agreessive pressing all over the pitch. If this doesn't work properly and we allow any pressure to our back five we look quite vulnerable.

[Trumo]

Gary Mabbutt's wife used to knit the hats for Jay Kay off Jamiroquai.

 

EDIT: In Garth Crooks' wisdom, that titbit belongs in this thread.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Whenever he's talking, and suddenly slows down and puts in a long agonising pause, I half expect his head to open like when Arnie was disguised as that old woman in Total Recall and his suit malfunctioned.

[House of Dirk]