Wasp...

[The Great Jacko]

It's a queen wasp looking for a nesting site. Kill it and you're done. Feel free to dole out a free sub to the most relevant post.

[TheBitch]

It's the summer wasps you've got to be worried about, flying around pissed up on fermenting fruit growing on trees and shit, kicking off and acting like cunts for no reason.This one was probably bored off its tits, nipping down the shops to get some milk and a twix.Nothing to worry about, Dave

I wouldn't be so sure, JNP. Probably nipping down the shop for milk and a twix to feed the babies who will grow up to be the pissed up cunts we see in the summer. Think on, Dave.

[Dr Nowt]

 

"The round-up's gonna be late this week, lads...."

[Kevin D]

I've always had a problem with wasps, too, until about 18 months ago.

 

My mate got me a present, he told me that the sheer stench of it was too much for any animal to tolerate, never mind a wasp. I didn't believe him at first, but he was bang on and I swear by it, now. Anyway, it's this apocalyptic novel called "Like I say", it's the most terrible thing I've ever come across and just reading 2 or 3 sentences aloud is enough to make any living organism flee.

 

Good luck to you and hope this helps.

[Dr Nowt]

Meanwhile at The Liverpool Way towers:

 

 

"Can't believe I fucking sold them all."

[AngryOfTuebrook]

http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_the-5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html

 

 

Japanese Giant Hornet (vespa mandarinia japonica)

Why you must fear it: 

It's the size of your thumb and it can spray flesh-melting poison. We really wish we were making that up for, you know, dramatic effect because goddamn, what a terrible thing a three-inch acid-shooting hornet would be, you know? Oh, hey, did we mention it shoots it into your eyes? Or that the poison also has a pheromone cocktail in it that'll call every hornet in the hive to come over and sting you until you are no longer alive?

Think you can outrun it? It can fly 50 miles in a day. It'd be nice to say something reassuring at this point, like "Don't worry, they only live on top of really tall mountains where nobody wants to live," but no, they live all over the goddamned place, including outside Tokyo.

Forty people die like that every year, each of them horribly.

More scary shit: 
Here's how the Japanese hornet treats other insects (and would presumably treat us, if we were small enough). An adult hornet will fly miles to find some squishy shit to feed to its children. Often times, it finds its food in, say, a hive inhabited by thousands of bees.

What to do? Well, Vespa japonica sprays the nest with some of the acid/pheromone and brings in reinforcements, usually consisting of 30 or so fellow hornets. They then descend upon the beehive like an unholy plague of hell-born death engines and proceed to make this world a scary goddamned place. This is maybe 30 wasps against 30,000 bees and the 30,000 bees do not stand a chance.

Behold the hornets systematically seize them with huge, wicked jaws and literally fucking cut them apart, one by one by one by fucking one. In three hours, there are piles of limbs and heads and just fucking bits of things that could possibly have been alive at one point, and the hornets have stormed the hive and flown away with all the bee's children. Who will then be eaten.



 

[Alan Sex]

[Alan Sex]

[Alan Sex]

[rEddie]

Inspired by this thread , I went to the pet shop to buy a wasp today. I said to the storekeeper, "My Good Man, I would like to buy a wasp". To which he retorted, "Why, we don't sell wasps here"! I replied; "Well, you had one in the window yesterday".

 

Neg away ...

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rubble-rouser]

It's a bit bigger than half a deep-fried Mars bar.

 

I use that line when clubbing in Glasgow.

[General Dryness]

I use that line when clubbing in Glasgow.

Usually followed by a clubbing in Glasgow.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

If you want to talk about Wasp HQ, talk about Bulgaria, I sat surrounded by thousands of them, day in, day out, by the end of the holiday I wasn't even the slightest bit phased by it all, this was largely to do with a rather splendid looking bird with two bee stings on display.

[Dan Vito Corleone]

How the fuck was it still alive? It has been a mildish winter I'll give you that, but surely cold enough to kill those little (or sometimes not so little) gobshites off?

[rubble-rouser]

How the fuck was it still alive? It has been a mildish winter I'll give you that, but surely cold enough to kill those little (or sometimes not so little) gobshites off?

 

My knowledge of evolution is sketchy, but I'm assuming that not all wasps die every winter, with the species re-emerging every spring, and therefore that some wasps will be alive over winter, whether as larvae or fully fledged.

 

In fact sod it, I'm going to ring Chris Packham tonight. Not to ask him about this, but to accuse him of being bent.     

[dave u]

My brother in law text me saying that they said on Winter Watch last night that loads of people have been seeing large wasps.  They're queens and they've come out of hibernation because of the mild weather.  Someone else told me that it will have been looking to build a nest but as long as I've killed it I've got nothing to worry about.

 

Yeah, about that...

 

I didn't actually see it die.  I covered it in half a tin of air freshener and then chucked it out the window.  Thing is, it was pissing down outside so now I'm wondering if the rain could have washed the air freshener of it and allowed it to survive.  It's probably plotting it's revenge as I type.  Shitting myself now.

[Alan Sex]

My brother in law text me saying that they said on Winter Watch last night that loads of people have been seeing large wasps.  They're queens and they've come out of hibernation because of the mild weather.  Someone else told me that it will have been looking to build a nest but as long as I've killed it I've got nothing to worry about.

 

Yeah, about that...

 

I didn't actually see it die.  I covered it in half a tin of air freshener and then chucked it out the window.  Thing is, it was pissing down outside so now I'm wondering if the rain could have washed the air freshener of it and allowed it to survive.  It's probably plotting it's revenge as I type.  Shitting myself now.

RIP, YNWA, etc...

[BCM]

My brother in law text me saying that they said on Winter Watch last night that loads of people have been seeing large wasps.  They're queens and they've come out of hibernation because of the mild weather.  Someone else told me that it will have been looking to build a nest but as long as I've killed it I've got nothing to worry about.

 

Yeah, about that...

 

I didn't actually see it die.  I covered it in half a tin of air freshener and then chucked it out the window.  Thing is, it was pissing down outside so now I'm wondering if the rain could have washed the air freshener of it and allowed it to survive.  It's probably plotting it's revenge as I type.  Shitting myself now.

[Hand Shandy]

My brother in law text me saying that they said on Winter Watch last night that loads of people have been seeing large wasps. They're queens and they've come out of hibernation because of the mild weather. Someone else told me that it will have been looking to build a nest but as long as I've killed it I've got nothing to worry about.

 

Yeah, about that...

 

I didn't actually see it die. I covered it in half a tin of air freshener and then chucked it out the window. Thing is, it was pissing down outside so now I'm wondering if the rain could have washed the air freshener of it and allowed it to survive. It's probably plotting it's revenge as I type. Shitting myself now.

With the greatest of respect, you sound like a right old woman.

 

Although to be fair, an old woman would probably be making less fuss about it than you are...

[Lee909]

She's coming back for round 2 and she's pissed.

 

[VladimirIlyich]

My brother in law text me saying that they said on Winter Watch last night that loads of people have been seeing large wasps. They're queens and they've come out of hibernation because of the mild weather. Someone else told me that it will have been looking to build a nest but as long as I've killed it I've got nothing to worry about.

 

Yeah, about that...

 

I didn't actually see it die. I covered it in half a tin of air freshener and then chucked it out the window. Thing is, it was pissing down outside so now I'm wondering if the rain could have washed the air freshener of it and allowed it to survive. It's probably plotting it's revenge as I type. Shitting myself now.

Youve stirred up a hornets nest now.

[Nunavut Patrick]

No wasps in the Arctic.

 

I also have a small loft, you're welcome to it mate.

[dennis tooth]

Can I bee the first to say I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit, thanks.

[neko]

Don't ever visit japan then...

 

 

and think what all that radiation has transformed them into now ?

[Paul]

I. Fucking. Despise. All. Fucking. Wasps.