Qwikage - The Liverpool Way Jump to content


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About Qwikage

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    Where I need to be but not where I want to be.

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  1. Qwikage

    Kerry Katona did porn??? (NSFW, obviously)

    A similar experience: North East coast of Scotland mid eighties, out with the lads and managed to persuade a female barely on the right side of being legally responsible for her actions through drink, to take me back to her parents place. Lights off in the living room in order not to wake the parents , got the desired outcome and noted to self that i was fucking good at this sex thing as she was on the more extreme ends of moistness. Left soon thereafter. Turns out I am not as good as I thought I was as she had taken her period mid coitus and deposited it all over her Mums 3 day old beige velour couch. Her Mum was asking about me too.
  2. Qwikage

    Kerry Katona did porn??? (NSFW, obviously)

    That seems unusually specific?
  3. Qwikage

    House fixy-uppy shit

    Recently done both and what I did worked for me: 1. Getting the whole house done will involve serious money. Therefore I bartered with the supplier to fit free and take away the old carpet as part of the deal. 2. Asked about for a recommended kitchen fitter with references. He brought a variety of brochures from trade suppliers and we chose what we wanted. He supplied and fitted and was around 20% cheaper overall than doing it direct. Hope this helps and good luck.
  4. Qwikage

    Dog Pics

    She looks absolutely adorable mate and a little overwhelmed. Wife worked in an animal shelter as a behaviorist so she used to bring the ones who struggled in kennels home so we could help them to adjust before rehoming (they did not all go to homes hence why we eneded up with 12 at one point). Trust me, with time she will rule the roost and you will all become her servants, quite rightly so.
  5. Qwikage

    Nicki Minaj

    You would struggle to bend a pipe cleaner into that shape.
  6. Is this where we comment on Section's Trump post?
  7. Qwikage


    Teacher: "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?" Billy: "None the others will fly away" Teacher: "The answer is 4 but i like the way you think" Billy: " I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream, 1 licking , 1 biting and 1 sucking. Which one is married?" Teacher nervously answers "The one sucking" Billy: "The answer is the one with the wedding ring on but i like the way you think"
  8. Qwikage

    Hating our own players

    You only hate me because I said your dinner parties were shit.
  9. Qwikage

    The Tits For skend04 Thread

    Thank you Captain Obvious.
  10. Qwikage

    Chelsea (A) FA Cup. 3/3/2020 - 19:75

    Really really difficult to be critical of a team that has given me so much pleasure over the last year or so but this is hard to watch.