Babb'sBurstNad

His pronunciation is a real pane.

Crouch's knees could pierce kevlar.

Force him onto his left foot and he's goosed. Decent player, but can't see him in our side.

Never in doubt.

Mo mo Mo mo mo mo Mo mo there's no limit passing

Sci-fi Akira The Thing Blade Runner The Abyss 2001 Fantasy The Seventh Seal Versus The Princess Bride Conan the Barbarian Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Not even remotely nervous about this one. Which makes me nervous.

Jehovah's witnesses knocking on doors mid-week when I'm expecting a parcel. I don't begrudge them doing what they think is right, but kindly stick to a designated day, so we can play out the charade of me hiding and pretending not to be in. That's one for the small pleasures thread. To cap it off, I've got two lots doing the rounds here now. It's descending into a turf war.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. A vocal few may flap their gums to give the usual utterances of support, time, the Utd way, etc. but most do so with little conviction. They're reading the script, but their heart's not in it. Them flocking for the exits from the 84th minute, devoid of any hope against a lowly Burnley, says far more. They can't bring themselves to say the words out loud, as it'd mean one more supposed legend - the type who "gets the club" - is in reality just a tit in a trance, a pratfall on the sidelines of football's greatest comedy. And it's eating them up inside. Lovely stuff. It'll all be over soon, but the final days bring with them the real joy of infighting (we've been there) and delusion that are the perfect dessert to the seven course meal of hilarity we've been served post-Ferguson. I'm getting some snacks in and staking out Red Cafe.

He's going to go out with all the grace and dignity of a man who's shat himself on the night bus.

It's not Castle Grayskull. That's He-Man's pad.

Shaving soap in stick form. Quite an old thing really, was a quicker way to apply and make a lather.

Is it me, or is he starting to look a bit like '90s Columbo?

Got a couple of vegan friends pushing me that way, so here are my findings thus far: Linda McCartney mozzarella burgers in a brioche roll are very nice. Not a fan of the sausages though. Vivera mince is pretty good for a bolognese or curry. Tend to do a bolognese for a meal or two, then turn it into chilli corn carne. Sling some mixed beans in there to bulk it out. Vivera chicken pieces are similarly decent. Quorn has an aftertaste like licking a tramp's arsehole, but with a southern fried coating it's alright (quorn that is, not rimming hobos). If you're after a plant based milk substitute, the only acceptable one I've found is Oatley Barista. Goes particularly well with Chocolate Cheerios.

Tombstone The Good, the Bad and the Ugly A Fistful of Dollars The Wild Bunch Unforgiven Honourable mentions: Young Guns Support Your Local Sheriff Cat Ballou (Lee Marvin's great in this)