Suicide

[Oh Buoy]

I rang the Samaritans once when i was at a really, really low ebb. I wasn't particularly thinking of suicide but i genuinely didnt know what to do and just wanted to talk to someone. As discussed in the depression thread i'd carried on behind my Mrs back and ended up getting the other girl pregnant, and the guilt and deception had built up to the point that i was genuinely ill and i couldn't see any way out. 

 

The woman i spoke to was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard in all honesty. Although in hindsight i imagine given the nature of my predicament that sympathy for an adulterer wasn't too high on her list of appropriate responses.

 

Ultimately, from what I've researched about them, it's not about giving you a simple route or a way out. It's to give you the opportunity to explore your decisions [and get it out in the open] and then offer suggestions when you've given them [i could be entirely wrong]. For example, if you'd admitted you'd wished just told her from the offset, my response would be to convince you that mistakes do happen, that we fall in and out of love and that your actions can be resolved and speaking to her about it will be good for you, but mostly for her. 

 

There's a lot of training that needs to be done when you volunteer and it's rated pretty highly in the psychology sector; so maybe you'd just caught someone having an off day? 

 

Either way, I've been in a really bad position before; I had nobody to speak to about it [and I felt I'd exhausted all my friends about it]. I genuinely don't know how I pulled myself through it all, looking back. So, that's my prompt to give something back - I'd like to be there for the old me, for anyone being in that situation because it's the worst place to be in the world. 

 

The best thing I ever did was small goals and small rewards; know that change can [and will happen] but small goals. 

 

You'll get through the dark hours, you will. 

[Total Longo]

 

Ultimately, from what I've researched about them, it's not about giving you a simple route or a way out. It's to give you the opportunity to explore your decisions [and get it out in the open] and then offer suggestions when you've given them [i could be entirely wrong]. For example, if you'd admitted you'd wished just told her from the offset, my response would be to convince you that mistakes do happen, that we fall in and out of love and that your actions can be resolved and speaking to her about it will be good for you, but mostly for her. 

 

There's a lot of training that needs to be done when you volunteer and it's rated pretty highly in the psychology sector; so maybe you'd just caught someone having an off day? 

 

Either way, I've been in a really bad position before; I had nobody to speak to about it [and I felt I'd exhausted all my friends about it]. I genuinely don't know how I pulled myself through it all, looking back. So, that's my prompt to give something back - I'd like to be there for the old me, for anyone being in that situation because it's the worst place to be in the world. 

 

The best thing I ever did was small goals and small rewards; know that change can [and will happen] but small goals. 

 

You'll get through the dark hours, you will. 

 

I wish i'd have spoken to you instead of the woman i spoke to. She came across as very judgmental and condescending. It may well have been equally to do with the state of mind i was in at the time, but it really made me feel a lot worse. I hated the fact that i had to resort to ringing them in the first place, sitting outside work in my car squirming away, but it wasn't something i felt (at that time) i could share with anyone i knew. 

 

So sadly, my one and only experience of them is a negative one.

[Tony Moanero]

I've thought about phoning The Samaritans loads of times but never have. I'm sure that for the most part they do a great job but until someone invents a way of giving hugs down the phone, it's not for me. Hugs are great and it can be a lonely life without them.

[Oh Buoy]

I wish i'd have spoken to you instead of the woman i spoke to. She came across as very judgmental and condescending. It may well have been equally to do with the state of mind i was in at the time, but it really made me feel a lot worse. I hated the fact that i had to resort to ringing them in the first place, sitting outside work in my car squirming away, but it wasn't something i felt (at that time) i could share with anyone i knew. 

 

So sadly, my one and only experience of them is a negative one.

 

 

It's sad to hear that, pal. 

 

But remember, if you're ever in need to get something off your chest, speaking to someone is the best cure. It's not an embarrassing thing to do, nor should you feel judged for doing so. We focus too much on getting things right and often, when it doesn't, there's little safeguarding or comfort in letting it out and the consequences can cause even greater problems. 

 

You did a great thing seeking help; if you ever feel the need, you know where I am. 

 

 

I've thought about phoning The Samaritans loads of times but never have. I'm sure that for the most part they do a great job but until someone invents a way of giving hugs down the phone, it's not for me. Hugs are great and it can be a lonely life without them.

 

Samaritans isn't just a phone service pal [you can go in] but I know how you feel. Human contact can be a great way to express that someone's there for you, that you do matter and that you have support. But as I said above, it's about letting it out and getting to the root, if it's loneliness, a conversation can help you look at new ways to get out there and meet people. 

 

The starting point is always, fundamentally, accepting that you need help. 

 

Even if that help is as simple as, "Hello, how're you getting on?" 

 

Someone mentioned Prof' Greens BBC 3 documentary early [Champ?] - all credit given to him as he's sparked out a small, but admirable movement; https://instagram.com/p/9Ykd52vs2a/

 

Great guy. 

[Total Longo]

Cheers Buoy.

[Total Longo]

I've thought about phoning The Samaritans loads of times but never have. I'm sure that for the most part they do a great job but until someone invents a way of giving hugs down the phone, it's not for me. Hugs are great and it can be a lonely life without them.

reach out and touch faith 

[Hades]

Get on some depression chat rooms and let it all out.

[Champ]

I've thought about phoning The Samaritans loads of times but never have. I'm sure that for the most part they do a great job but until someone invents a way of giving hugs down the phone, it's not for me. Hugs are great and it can be a lonely life without them.

Give the programme a watch, Tony. I got it on iplayer

[Tony Moanero]

Give the programme a watch, Tony. I got it on iplayer

I've seen most of it the other night when it was on the telly.

[Champ]

Not really, i just got to the stage where sooner or later i had to confront the Mrs and tell her. Which was comfortably up there with the worst experiences of my life.

 

Things have worked out as well as could be expected now, which i am eternally grateful for.

She sounds like a great girl, TL

[Nunavut Patrick]

I have some experiences with suicide, as a coach who had players kill themsleves, I live in a community where suicide happens regularly.

 

Also on a personal level, I have someone very close to me who has been suicidal.

 

All I can say is that you have got to be supportive, not judgmental. Listen but never lecture. Don't say what you think they want to hear; the truth needs to be clear. Compassion in spades. Empathy in small amounts. Remember this is a person who is hurting beyond belief

 

Above all, tell them they are loved and keep them talking. Talking and listening.

[Stu Monty]

I have some experiences with suicide, as a coach who had players kill themsleves, I live in a community where suicide happens regularly.

 

Also on a personal level, I have someone very close to me who has been suicidal.

 

All I can say is that you have got to be supportive, not judgmental. Listen but never lecture. Don't say what you think they want to hear; the truth needs to be clear. Compassion in spades. Empathy in small amounts. Remember this is a person who is hurting beyond belief

 

Above all, tell them they are loved and keep them talking. Talking and listening.

Suicide is a pretty big problem in a lot of the First Nation communities isn't it NP? Heard that substance abuse and unemployment are factors in it.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Suicide is a pretty big problem in a lot of the First Nation communities isn't it NP? Heard that substance abuse and unemployment are factors in it.

Yes it is, where I live in a community of 1800 we have had in the nine years I have lived there at least 15. My son's class, when he first arrived as a nine year old, and uo to today has had two boys kill themselves and one lad die in an hunting accident ( he was run over by a komatik, a large sled that is pulled behind a snow mobile which carries the caribou you shoot and camping equipment, etc).

 

I have had one player kill himself, taught two boys both named raymond who killed themselves within one year. The government finally, after a coroners imquest, called a state of emergency and is looking to plough money and resources into mental health.

 

the biggest factor is the residnetial school system that was in place years ago and Inuit being herded into communities from a nomadic lifestyle. during the period from 1950-1970 many children were taken to southern schools, told to not speak their language and lost their culture. vhildren were returned in the summer to parents who could not tall to them. These generations had children, were locked into the welfare state and began a cycle of low to litte employment, loss of culture, loss of traditional practcies such as hunting and fishing and were caught between two cultures.

 

Substance abuse, always booze, is not as high a factor. My ex wife is the station nurse in charge and most tox reports come back negative. It is the loss of hope and the inability to cope with life that leads to lives being taken. The kid I coached was om the right path, doing well in school, popular but cheated on his girlfriend and she found out and he made a drastic decision.

 

Can't comment on First Nations as they are seperate. Canada has three groups of native people-Inuit (Eskimos, Metis-half Indian half French and the First Nations...your 'traditional Indian' I guess..the Cree, Mohawk, Algonquin, etc).

 

The plight is canada's shame but thankfully we have a new PM who seems to be the sort who will take this seriously and do what is right. the Tory PM, Stephen Harper, was condenscending and stalling and pretty much treated the whole group with contempt except when he needed a good photo op....think the Queen with pygmies.

 

by the way, the Residential School System was sanctioned by the federal Canadian government and run by the Church. Mainly Catholic. So take a wild guess at some of the abuses native children went through.

[Stu Monty]

Just been reading Naomi Klien's latest effort and there's a fair bit in it about the efforts in Canada to try and protect the land and keep fossil fuels in the ground. Interesting seeing how some Canadian communities have tried to go about it.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Berger Report was pivotal. It happened back in 70s when they were going to put a big pipelin across the NWT and The Dene and Cree who lived on the traditional lands put up a fight. Our current PM's father, Pierre Trudeau agreed to an inquiry and Justice Berger stated that no development would go anead unless consent was reached with the Dene and Cree.

 

A real turning point because Imperial Oil could mot just come in and whack down the boreal forest and stick a leaky pipeline over the Mackenzie River watershed.

 

Alberta has a NDP government ( socialist but a little more centrist than European socialists) and they are more inclined to protect the environment. This is easy to do with oil at 50$ a barrell, the oil sands are not profitable. If it goes up into the 100$+ range we shall see if she (Premier is a woman, i would and Alan Sex has being an Albertan) can hold this line on oil sands.

 

Where I live, we have a gold mine and the company had to put a 460$M deposit to guarantee the land is restored to its original state.

 

Arreva, the French uranium mininfg company, found a big deposit near my town and wanted approval and are finding it tough. When that Japanese reactor leaked the price of uranium plummeted so they shelved it but they will be back.

[Paul]

I've always assumed that the lack of light was a major factor in the mental health of people living in polar regions.

[lifetime fan]

I've always assumed that the lack of light was a major factor in the mental health of people living in polar regions.

Massively.

 

Although mainly anecdotal there's still lots of evidence a full moon (or more precisely the 2 days before) sees a big increase in suicide and psychotic episodes.

[Lee909]

I fucking despise the dark over the winter. 100% believe in winter blues. Especially when i use to work nights. Get up its dark

Get home its dark

Same in and out for 4/5 months

[Champ]

I've always assumed that the lack of light was a major factor in the mental health of people living in polar regions.

And alcohol (self medication, perhaps)

[lifetime fan]

Looks like rugby league referee Chris Leatherbarrow has committed suicide.

[littletedwest]

couple of people I know know him, looks the happiest guy around on his Facebook profile just shows how deceptive appearances can be.

[lifetime fan]

27, poor cunt.

[Champ]

I'm just home after attending my friend's son's funeral. He was 27. My friend is the loveliest, most family oriented person you could meet. Its just beyond words.

However bad it seems, talk to someone, please

[ZonkoVille77]

Champ, on 20 Jul 2016 - 2:16 PM, said:

 

I'm just home after attending my friend's son's funeral. He was 27. My friend is the loveliest, most family oriented person you could meet. Its just beyond words.

However bad it seems, talk to someone, please

Heartbreaking stuff. Sorry to hear that, Champ.

[Mook]

It's fucking grim that, Champ. It doesn't bear thinking about what his parents are going through at the moment.