sh#t waffle

The fascist shrimp had me in hysterics.

Yes, but that was all part of the FA's long term plan; keep Everton in the same division thus guaranteeing us an extra six points per season. They're devious fuckers, they really are.

She was on a wind up I think (including the conveniently placed Tesco bag).

Ronnie v Robertson going to a deciding frame

Incredible. I'm going to wear them to work, and I'm not even a goalkeeper. And I work from home. On a (semi) serious note, the Venn diagram of people that would buy those but also whinge incessantly about snowflakes 'virtue signalling' would basically just be a circle.

On the contrary, I hope we win courtesy of the worst decision of all time in the last minute, just to see Pep cry.

It definitely happened. Pep's son is also the Rangers fan that went up to Brendan in Glasgow and told him what a breath of fresh air he'd been for the city.

Mo will score on Sunday, as will Sadio. Problem sorted.

Twatbots.

I spent a year in Sydney about 15 years ago. I had a mate there, who one day turned up to the pub completely black and blue down his side. He told us that he had fallen off a rock while stoned; the rock was covered in barnacles and had basically gashed him. One of his house mates had said it looked like a shark bite, so when he next spoke to his mum, he thought it would be funny to tell her that he had been attacked by a shark, but that she shouldn't worry as he had got away. He thought no more of it until a week later when his local newspaper in the UK called, wanting to hear about this shark attack (his frantic mum had been going round telling everyone about it). He was stoned when they called so he thought 'fuck it', and carried on the story. Again, he thought that would be the end of it, and proudly showed off the front page of the local paper with him on it. Another week passed, and he received another phonecall from the UK - from the Daily Mirror. He again weighed up his options (he was, as usual, stoned) and again thought 'fuck it', and ended up on the front page of a national newspaper, effectively for having slipped off a rock while wasted. We still call him shark boy to this day.

And exactly as with those early games in charge last season, the end result in that Chelsea game masked what was actually a woeful first half performance in which only poor Chelsea finishing saw them still in the game.

They use a sophisticated combination of boos and groans.

I preferred the Athletic when it was still on Sub Pop.