Stu Monty

Was genuinely really nice to get a message off Rich whilst I was there, you don't expect it from that sort of cunt but some times people surprise you. It's honestly just funny now when you see people digging Glastonbury out for the same boring reasons (and mostly quite clearly doing it from the perspective of not being there). I've been a few years in a row now and as fucking boring as it is to hear about it from people who do see it as the peak of their summer, there's a reason they talk about it like that, and it isn't just the music. Being able to go from listening to Sylvester at a big gay tops-off disco at NYC Downlow (with some of your your mates genuinely free to be their true selves in public) and in 30 mins to be chilling listening to Kiwanuka, its just a thing you don't get anywhere else. There's some interesting chat about if there's too many people there now, and also if they understand the growing desire for dance music (given the traffic to get to those areas when the stages close is now bordering on dangerous) but it's still the best few hundred quid you'll ever spend. Some stuff I saw, pretty much all very good or great (some on iPlayer some not): Simz (obvs) - Mates who will never listen to her stuff loved the set and were bouncing around to it thinking she just bossed the thing with her energy. There were nans there clearly loving it. Could easily have headlined if they leant into it like Stormzy and made a big cultural moment of it. Justice absolutely smashed it on Sun, incredible sound at West Holts Brittany Howard was excellent, channeling those Prince vibes. Possibly album of the year for me. Big Special were amazing at the Leftfield - see no reason why they can't be better/bigger than Idles...and I like Idles a lot. Jamie XX Kiwanuka Barry Can't Swim at the park was good but stupidly busy - DJ set at Arcadia was class Romy was absolutely perfect vibes. Noname LCD Soundsystem Jordan Rakai - Nice chilled stuff on Sun without being something to write home about Ross From Friends was fucking great at San Remo Two Shell - bonkers but I just can't say no to them Afrodeutsche dropping No Good - Start the dance at fuck knows what time in the morning at iicon was a real moment. Joy Orbison - always worth taking in their set and Flight FM was getting dropped by every DJ all weekend. Francois K - previously mentioned bug gay disco - lovely couple of hours in the afternoon. Mall Grab - decent without blowing me away. Just tally up the ticket prices to see all that (without even mentioning you can hear 4 tracks from random people as you wander past) and throw in the cost of 5 days camping and it's incredibly good value for anyone that can afford it. That said, none of you should go next year, don't try for tickets...it's actually crap and all this was just bluster. Still got no time for posting really, so fucking soak that one in, treat it like rare scripture you just found in a tomb, but cheers for the shout out.

Help a brother out here? Link me up.

Anyone got a stream link please lads. My TV has chosen an amazing time to go down.

He attempted 18 long passes (over 30m) in the match and completed 15. 8 successful passes into the final third and one into the box. Five players in the whole league completed more long passes this week. Only four players in the league completed more tackles. Oh, and he carried the ball the most progressive distance in the league on the weekend too. He was not a problem. He was one of the few who played well.

Nah, sorry, Matip was the one taking responsibility and trying to play the difficult big vertical passes through the lines, or occasionally going for a wander past people to move defensive players around, and his numbers were still good despite that. Also defended well pretty much throughout. Made one mistake when again trying to play through the lines against a team blocking off passing lanes (it happens, react better). Best player by some way in the first 60 for me. Still arguably MOM over 90.

Nothing will ever be funnier than Brownie's genuine deflation at being called a combative midfielder and trying to convince us he was "Silky". Dave was essentially right on pretty much everything and he should get a medal for having to try to herd these two drunk cats.

Whilst being sat in your Chelsea shirt.

No regrets from the Nou Camp's new Brazilian darling Luis Suarez: "Ah Good times, I told you you'd love it over in Barca though mate". Coutninho: "Yeah...best decision ever...loving every minute..." Photographer: "Erm, do you want to smile Phil or are you sticking with that grimace thing you're doing?" As a model professional Henderson always followed the textbook advice on medical issues Problematic Gait: On long journeys you may need to get something to keep your feet elevated on, to ensure correct posture. Robertson is not impressed with disrespectful questions at pre-match press conference. Journo: "If you qualify will you be doing a cup final song? You could maybe do it with a novelty act like The Proclaimers?" ...but luckily he didn't let it bother him at all. Robbo: ...I mean, seriously, novelty? Sunshine on Leith is a genuine masterpiece for god's sake..." Ref: "I say again, I do not know these people" Messi: "Increible!". Robbo looks to take a very Native American approach to dealing with his vanquished enemies AR: "Stop cryin' and sit still will yer man. I'm no gonna kill ya, I'm just takin' yer scalp". Nobody did film-reference burns quite as well as Andy Robbo AR: "I'd better not see you supping out your little beaker after the match mate. Coffee is for closers." Messi realizes he made a BIG mistake putting money in that fortune telling machine LM: "That fucking Zoltan! It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. What we do in life echoes in eternity

Robbo: "Hey, Leo, where's Big Virg walking off to with yer Ballon D'Or, lad? Messi: "What did you say?" Ref: "Now now Mr Robertson, that's not nice" Jurgen keeps his eye on all the sports Klopp: "I spoke to Pep last night after the Spurs game, we had a good chat" Journo: "How is he?" Klopp: "Out!" Virg: "Hey Robbo, can you imagine some of the shite that teams are going to buy from Scotland because of us". As Liverpool win number 12 at the 2025 Final in Qatar it's easy to see the benefit of all that free Nivea JH: "Adam, hurry up and take the photo, man. Then we can bin this off and get a Full English" Suarez was working overtime to get a reaction LS: "John Smith would have made a terrible Prime Minister" Quiet moment of connection from two International captains Messi: "I mean, seriously, I fly all the way over there and then it's fucking amateur hour, every time" Robbo: "Mate, tell me about it. At least you've got a chance with your lot. Have you seen Scotland recently?"

I thought the plan was that we wait for the Labour government to come to power and we both stride in here and take the place back in a violent revolution, smiting all that stand in our way? You've gone off early! Stick to the plan!

I am off to rekindle the revolutionary flames in Cuba for a couple of weeks but if you were going to knock something together for April then I could make efforts to try and fit that shit into my schedule, if only just to see if you're still fighting that losing battle with father time. *He says as he cries on the inside and tries to pretend he hasn't wondered how much that hair replacement shit costs now everyone is doing it*

Right then you bunch of degenerates, it happens that I have a couple of openings for teams to be taken over in the most sexy thing you can find on the internet (aside from all the actual sex stuff) The TLW Xpert 11 League! If you like footy management games, fantasy football, or just pissing about online a bit (I think we have clear proof on that score) then get yourself over and get involved. Some of the biggest legends (worst wankers) on TLW are over there strutting their staggeringly incompetent stuff so why not pop over, try it out for a bit and see how it goes. If you don't like it you can fuck it off and all you'll have lost is your face amongst people who you suspect might respect you, a bit, sometimes. http://www.xperteleven.com/?lid=54622 Take a look, hit me up. Sound.

One thing I'd say is that you might not be able to move 40 people around very easily. Book somewhere. Maybe two destinations.

But this is the real world we are talking about. You have to at least acknowledge the fact that you are trying to knock down the fossil fuel and nuclear power industries at the same time; and that, as nice as wind power might be, you might as well suggest we run the power stations on unicorn tears if you think you're doing that in the time required.

So am I. I don't think future generations would thank you for trying and failing to transition the energy supply by dumping nuclear and fossil fuels at the same time as their food supply runs out due to global warming.