Christian Benteke

[tobycatz]

How much weed do you smoke, JP

Not enough .

[Dr Nowt]

All you ever fucking do is repeat yourself.

Lizzie Two Times. Times.

[Alan Sex]

Lizzie Two Times. Times.

[VladimirIlyich]

Is JP the real JP and tweeted the players while on the pitch playing for Stoke or whoever he played for back then?

'Fuck taking this corner,I have to tweet Daniel Sturridge and Luis Suarez to wish them well. Nobody will notice anyway.'

[Captain Turdseye]

Today's the day Benteke becomes a god.

[Gnasher]

If Benteke didnt realise how big a club he was joining he will when he looks at his phone and sees a couple of hundred tweets from JP before the game this afternoon

[Dr Nowt]

Hope he hasn't stopped sending Ronaldo messages on Bebo, or he might not sign for us after all.

[Dr Nowt]

 

Lizzie Two Times. Times.

Looks nowt like me that, Al.

 

I've cut my hair off since then.

[Mathewbet1]

Feed him raw meat unleash the cunt.

[magicrat]

Today's the day Benteke becomes a god.

 

I hope you're not dyslexic

[eeyore]

Well yeah I've cemented my opinion whiskyjar. How about you?

[Tony Moanero]

Fuck me, has someone farted?

[JermainePennant]

If Benteke didnt realise how big a club he was joining he will when he looks at his phone and sees a couple of hundred tweets from JP before the game this afternoon

I don't know whether or not to say it but when Coutinho started tweeting the other night after months and was replying to fans I sent him a good luck message before this game, even when I'm not trying it's working.

[billypilgrimnz]

I don't know whether or not to say it but when Coutinho started tweeting the other night after months and was replying to fans I sent him a good luck message before this game, even when I'm not trying it's working.

Try not to run this into the ground too early please. I want 5 seasons of The Wire, not 10 seasons of Friends. Moderation is the key, JP.

[INTORRESTING]

Hat trick tonight

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Get tweeting JP

[TheHowieLama]

@therealbentecky

[Mathewbet1]

The press were billing as this Benteke v Lukkau shoot out on mersey side, who's is going to be the best Belgium? who would you say was faster?

[Tony Moanero]

Really want this cunt sold in January.

[littletedwest]

He looks a handful tonight in clichéd commentator talk

[Pureblood]

We won't cross it enough so he won't score. 

[Cardie]

[cuppatea]

Very good tonight, I thought. Certainly isn't the ale-house footballer some people were labelling him.

[Grinch]

We need to stop hoofing the ball at him at every oppurtunity.  He's getting praised for winning knock on?  So fucking what if no ones near him and we lose posession right away.

 

His chance at the end and his goal showed how we can make it work with him in the side.

 

Far from convinced but glad he's off the mark. 

[Anubis]

Thought he was very good tonight. Good movement and good tracking back. Our best player on the evening.