little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Most of their bandwidth are taken up with spreading Covid.

Nah they're monitoring us to make sure we all walk in a straight line. The vaccines were implant chips, it's basically nazi Germany with internet. 

 

I had a shit earlier then got an alert from Instagram about the new Andrex advert. 

[Mudface]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Nah they're monitoring us to make sure we all walk in a straight line. The vaccines were implant chips, it's basically nazi Germany with internet. 

 

I had a shit earlier then got an alert from Instagram about the new Andrex advert. 

Just be thankful it wasn't a trailer for the new Deluxe Scat Queens video.

[Bjornebye]

Balloons. Rubber little shits. She's left me a load to blow up for her mums birthday while they go out for food. Like fuck. I can't do it, I'm incapable of blowing them up and she knows this. Once it gets bigger than my fist I start thinking it's going to burst and blind me then it takes me 5 minutes fannying about trying to tie it. Nah, not today love. 

[manwiththestick]

Blowing.

Balloon knot.

Bigger than my fist.

 

Hmm, possible joke here somewhere.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Blowing.

Balloon knot.

Bigger than my fist.

 

Hmm, possible joke here somewhere.

I've had one on my head since I typed that 

[YorkshireRed]

People who phone you up for a ‘chat’. I’m no grass but these people need reporting to the authorities. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

23 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Balloons. Rubber little shits. She's left me a load to blow up for her mums birthday while they go out for food. Like fuck. I can't do it, I'm incapable of blowing them up and she knows this. Once it gets bigger than my fist I start thinking it's going to burst and blind me then it takes me 5 minutes fannying about trying to tie it. Nah, not today love. 

Another way of blowing balloons up.

[Harry's Lad]

5 minutes ago, Evelyn Tentions said:

Another way of blowing balloons up.

Nah, that's what happens if you swallow your bubbly.

[littletedwest]

Job adverts that don't say what they pay. That said I was driving behind a bus the other week that was advertising a job and said " £9.50 an hour AND 28 days annual leave" as if that was good. Its the least pay and holidays you can give not a selling point

[Oh Buoy]

Got another cunt of a migraine coming on. I can already feel the tingling in my face starting to swarm like unloved cum sock. 

[Captain Willard]

When you pass someone your phone to look at a single photo or text, a single fucking thing that should take mere seconds to look at and they start scrolling through everything else. 

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Captain Willard said:

When you pass the wife your phone to look at a single photo or text, a single fucking thing that should take mere seconds to look at and they start scrolling through everything else. 

Fixed. Although I would never let the wife get her mitts anywhere near my phone, so it’s possible your someone could be an actual someone you’re not married to. 

[Captain Willard]

51 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Fixed. Although I would never let the wife get her mitts anywhere near my phone, so it’s possible your someone could be an actual someone you’re not married to. 

It’s both Mrs Willard but also my colleagues if I pass them the phone to show a picture of a site. Very annoying. 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

It’s both Mrs Willard but also my colleagues if I pass them the phone to show a picture of a site. Very annoying. 

You've been showing them the Monarchy thread havent you?

[alles ist gut]

54 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

You've been showing them the Monarchy thread havent you?

No, just the Foodie Thread

[Captain Willard]

2 minutes ago, alles ist gut said:

No, just the Foodie Thread

Parts of the Foodie Thread are NSFW

[alles ist gut]

Just now, Captain Willard said:

Parts of the Foodie Thread are NSFW

They are a challenging wank, for sure

[Jairzinho]

Liam Gallagher. Wish he'd shut up, the cunt is about four miles away and I can still hear him. 

[Remmie]

15 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

When you pass someone your phone to look at a single photo or text, a single fucking thing that should take mere seconds to look at and they start scrolling through everything else. 

You fool. You screenshot whatever it is even if shes sitting on your fucking lap. Amateur. 

[lifetime fan]

Feral bastards who put wet teaspoons in the coffee and sugar pots. 

[chrisbonnie]

Those teeny tiny wash hand basins in some public toilets. 

 

I fucking hummingbird couldn't wash itself in them, never mind a human being. 

 

Pointless things, you literally just wash your fingertips in them 

[easytoslip]

On 14/09/2022 at 13:13, Evelyn Tentions said:

Another way of blowing balloons up.

Where would one put one's pursed lips? 

[Trumo]

Mr Beast. Who the fuck is he? Why does his stuff have millions of views after just a few hours? Why is his shit all over the front page of Youtube from the get-go despite my browser clearing history every time it's shut down? What does his shit have to do with my Youtube viewing habits? A quick Google search says he pioneered stunt vids on Youtube and posts stuff about gaming. Neither are things I bother with, especially gaming. Fuck off Mr Beast.

[Captain Turdseye]

50 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Mr Beast. Who the fuck is he? Why does his stuff have millions of views after just a few hours? Why is his shit all over the front page of Youtube from the get-go despite my browser clearing history every time it's shut down? What does his shit have to do with my Youtube viewing habits? A quick Google search says he pioneered stunt vids on Youtube and posts stuff about gaming. Neither are things I bother with, especially gaming. Fuck off Mr Beast.

I know two people who occasionally watch his stuff. One is a bespectacled current actor, former chef from Warrington who once bit off the end of his own finger. The other one is my nine year old kid. 

[dockers_strike]

2 hours ago, Trumo said:

Mr Beast. Who the fuck is he? Why does his stuff have millions of views after just a few hours? Why is his shit all over the front page of Youtube from the get-go despite my browser clearing history every time it's shut down? What does his shit have to do with my Youtube viewing habits? A quick Google search says he pioneered stunt vids on Youtube and posts stuff about gaming. Neither are things I bother with, especially gaming. Fuck off Mr Beast.

Need to click the 3 dots and select the 'not interested' or 'dont recommend the channel' option. Works for me.