alles ist gut

The FA can't expect people to watch a game clashing with a Lords Test Match

Top, top Benze-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ( (c) Steve McManaman) analysis there, Dave.

There's a lot of competition!

And it don’t stop (except when it does) Leighton Clarkson : Final game for a weakened Aberdeen team at Parkhead against the perennial champions. It’s not easy to look good if you’re the creative midfielder and your team has only 24% possession. The closest the Dons came to a shot on goal in the first half was a back post header from a Clarkson corner that Joe Hart dealt with without needing to move. There wasn’t one in the second half either. Some days it’s not your week. Luke Chambers : At the other end of the SPL table, Kilmarnock took on Ross County in a virtual relegation playoff; Chambers at left wing-back. Did not have an awful lot to do defensively, as the home team dominated the first half, taking the lead late on, and then adding a (relatively generous VAR decision) penalty early in the second period. Even when County got a goal back from the spot themselves (Yan Dhanda!), Kilmarnock stayed in control of the game and added a third to finish things. Tenth place and safety. Vitezslav Jaros : Unused substitute for Stockport County as they came up short in the League Two playoff final against Carlisle at that Wembley in a penalty shootout after the game finished 1-1 after extra time. He will get the chance to sit on some more benches with the Czechia Under-21 squad at the upcoming European Championships. Anderson Arroyo : Unused substitute for Alavés in their final game of the season at fellow promotion chasers Las Palmas; the 0-0 draw ensured that the Islanders finished second and go up automatically, while Alavés drop to fourth and will continue their quest in the playoffs, starting at Eibar on Saturday. Sepp van den Berg : Sadly Schalke were unable to get the result they needed at Leipzig on the last day of the Bundesliga season, falling to a 4-2 defeat and being relegated as a result. Not great positionally on the first RBL goal, running into the back post as his keeper parried a cross straight to an opposing player and thus unable to do anything about the resulting shot. One of several players dribbled round by Nkunku in the box for their second. Although Schalke were able to get it back to 2-2, they over-committed in search of the win they needed and conceded a third on a counterattack, before Nkunku added a fourth in stoppage time with a chip after van den Berg missed a header on a long punt by the Leipzig keeper. Some years it’s not your week.

Emergency podcast material? As an upgrade on Adrian?

He was training regularly and not getting in the squad; to me that suggests an agreement not to risk what's left of his body. Hopefully he can get some TV work, alongside a short-term contract nominally playing football, with the objective of putting that gawping fuckwit Jenas on the dole by 2025.

As is van den Berg, of course.

Sounds like a job for Paulie’s missus?

Top, top sidekick analysis there, Dave. (Also that should say ‘Newcastle’ on the first line.)

Egypt have one ANC qualifier and then a friendly against South Sudan (might be a good time for an unspecified muscle strain); Colombia and Brazil each have two friendlies in Europe; Uruguay have two friendlies in Montevideo. Anyway, like you said, it’s a fortnight away.

We'd expect pics

Top, top Welbeck analysis there, Dave.

Maybe Elon should sign him?