little things that annoy the shit out of you

[sir roger]

A butt plug might be a decent temporary measure. Dont remember that being banned alongside heavy petting on the 10 commandments at Norris Green baths.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Apparently the chemicals in swimming pools don't naturally smell. If you get the stench of chlorine, that means the pool's full of piss, as it reacts to it.

[Rico1304]

35 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Apparently the chemicals in swimming pools don't naturally smell. If you get the stench of chlorine, that means the pool's full of piss, as it reacts to it.

Are you sure?  I’ve used sodium hypochlorite on my patio and it fucking stinks. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

12 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Are you sure?  I’ve used sodium hypochlorite on my patio and it fucking stinks. 

Sounds like someone's pissing on your patio mate.

[Rico1304]

7 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Sounds like someone's pissing on your patio mate.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha 

[Remmie]

I have used chlorine in my hot tub and it definitely has a distinct smell before I even piss and jizz into it. Possible that polls use a different style of chlorine though 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Apparently the chemicals in swimming pools don't naturally smell. If you get the stench of chlorine, that means the pool's full of piss, as it reacts to it.

Jesus. Scotchbarn baths in Prescot fucking reeked of chlorine when I was a kid. I always assumed that was a good thing. 

35 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Sounds like someone's pissing on your patio mate.

Hahahaha

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Jesus. Scotchbarn baths in Prescot fucking reeked of chlorine when I was a kid. I always assumed that was a good thing. 

Hahahaha

I remember my dad taking me to Dovecot baths when I was  kid. 

We got changed, went to the pool, a fucking big turd floated past, dressed again and home.

We never went back.

 

The water in the small pool was green, fuck knows what was lying below the surface in there.

[Captain Turdseye]

I survived. Made it home. Straight to the bog. 
 

Great success!

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I remember my dad taking me to Dovecot baths when I was  kid. 

We got changed, went to the pool, a fucking big turd floated past, dressed again and home.

We never went back.

 

The water in the small pool was green, fuck knows what was lying below the surface in there.

Hahahaha, grim. Turdseye had clearly been in before you. 

[Harry's Lad]

3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahahaha, grim. Turdseye had clearly been in before you. 

Nah, too solid for Turdseye.

It was over 50 years ago too, 

[dockers_strike]

4 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I remember my dad taking me to Dovecot baths when I was  kid. 

We got changed, went to the pool, a fucking big turd floated past, dressed again and home.

We never went back.

 

The water in the small pool was green, fuck knows what was lying below the surface in there.

Ha! reminds me of the time we went to Southport baths about 1962. Arl fella couldnt swim so went with my uncle who made me a red. It had old style wooden sloping steps in the shallow end as opposed to the vertical upright against the bath wall.

 

The steps were slippy as fuck but I didnt know that until I got on the 2nd step. Then went arse over tit and was under the water for what seemed ages until uncle grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Stuck my inflatable ring under my arms double quick after that!

[Trumo]

3 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

Ha! reminds me of the time we went to Southport baths about 1962. Arl fella couldnt swim so went with my uncle who made me a red. It had old style wooden sloping steps in the shallow end as opposed to the vertical upright against the bath wall.

 

The steps were slippy as fuck but I didnt know that until I got on the 2nd step. Then went arse over tit and was under the water for what seemed ages until uncle grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Stuck my inflatable ring under my arms double quick after that!

 

That'll be all the piss then.

[Harry's Lad]

1 minute ago, dockers_strike said:

Ha! reminds me of the time we went to Southport baths about 1962. Arl fella couldnt swim so went with my uncle who made me a red. It had old style wooden sloping steps in the shallow end as opposed to the vertical upright against the bath wall.

 

The steps were slippy as fuck but I didnt know that until I got on the 2nd step. Then went arse over tit and was under the water for what seemed ages until uncle grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Stuck my inflatable ring under my arms double quick after that!

This would have been in the late 60's. 

We moved to Skem in 1969, so before then.

[Captain Turdseye]

We were on a weekend away in some caravan in Essex somewhere a few years back, can’t remember exactly where. I just remember it was shite. 
 

The only good thing they had there was an on site swimming pool with the inflatable obstacle course stuff. Turdsette must have only been about three maybe. Anyway, we were queuing up in the water to get on the inflatable, we get to the steps and out of nowhere she just vomited this horrible milky looking puke twice. It was fucking disgusting. Nobody had noticed so as it started floating away I just picked her up, climbed the steps and fucked off sharpish. Never went back to the pool. 

[Bjornebye]

No Running

No Bombing

No Heavy Petting

No Turdseye & Family 

[Harry's Lad]

22 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

No Running

No Bombing

No Heavy Petting

No Turdseye & Family 

Haha, they had that sign in Skem Baths. No-one took a blind bit of notice.

Nothing about Turdseye though, which is strange, considering. 

[Mudface]

 

Was gonna put it in the funny pics thread, but it works well in here too.

[chrisbonnie]

Tracksuit bottoms with tiny pockets. 

 

I don't wear jeans around the house, I like my comfort when I'm lounging. 

 

But why would you make a pocket, so small, at grain of sand couldn't even stay in it, never mind your phone, keys or wallet 

[Dave D]

5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

We were on a weekend away in some caravan in Essex somewhere a few years back, can’t remember exactly where. I just remember it was shite. 
 

The only good thing they had there was an on site swimming pool with the inflatable obstacle course stuff. Turdsette must have only been about three maybe. Anyway, we were queuing up in the water to get on the inflatable, we get to the steps and out of nowhere she just vomited this horrible milky looking puke twice. It was fucking disgusting. Nobody had noticed so as it started floating away I just picked her up, climbed the steps and fucked off sharpish. Never went back to the pool. 

Fucking crying here

[redinblack]

8 hours ago, Mudface said:

 

Was gonna put it in the funny pics thread, but it works well in here too.

Chloros, as the chemists where i worked called it

[Bjornebye]

doesn't stop people pissing on the decking though 

[niallers]

Speaking of pissing, trying to piss through a hard on isn't a pleasant experience. Especially in the middle of the night. Assuming the ski jump position whilst trying to hit the bowl in the dark is really annoying! 

[VladimirIlyich]

16 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

I remember my dad taking me to Dovecot baths when I was  kid. 

We got changed, went to the pool, a fucking big turd floated past, dressed again and home.

We never went back.

 

The water in the small pool was green, fuck knows what was lying below the surface in there.

I have those memories of Lodge Lane Baths. Maybe it was just me with dodgy guts as a kid.

[Elite]

5 hours ago, niallers said:

Speaking of pissing, trying to piss through a hard on isn't a pleasant experience. Especially in the middle of the night. Assuming the ski jump position whilst trying to hit the bowl in the dark is really annoying! 

It won't go flaccid until after you piss either, annoying.