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Captain Willard

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Everything posted by Captain Willard

  1. Captain Willard

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    I’m like that with electric shocks, got a nasty one off a broken plug in my teenagers and been wary of electricity ever since. Once you know how much something hurts you never forget.
  2. Captain Willard

    The Foodie thread

    Tartare. 2 pints of lager and lime then went home and fell asleep on a sunlounger in the garden, got sun burnt and missed an important work call. I’m getting too old for lunchtime drinking.
  3. Captain Willard

    The Foodie thread

    Working from home, sunny day so pub lunch with Mrs Willard. Fish finger sandwiches and a lager top. Very tasty.
  4. Captain Willard

    How does your garden grow?

    I know through either work, friendship or family a few very rich people and a few poorish ones. By very rich, I mean £10s of millions and in one case a good friend who is worth a lot more than than that I don’t think overall the former are much happier than the latter, they don’t worry about money but they are often anxious driven lonely people who often work 7 day weeks becuase they don’t have anything else to do. My super rich friend has spent every Christmas on his own for the last 10 years, often at his office. I wouldn’t swap his life for mine.
  5. Captain Willard

    How does your garden grow?

    Typical shed batterer. You’d say it was asking for it with that slutty slatted brown wood and sturdy coy Chubb lock. You were provoked.
  6. Captain Willard

    How does your garden grow?

    Agree. The key is to keep on top of it, at least an hour or two a week. Nature never stops growing so the worst thing you can do is leave it alone for weeks at a time. Then it just feels like hard work clearing the masses of weeds.
  7. Pretty self explanatory I think. I’ll start the ball rolling with Teenage wildlife by David Bowie where he refers to “"Well, David, what shall i do? They wait for me in the hallway"I'll say "don't ask me, I don't know any hallways"
  8. I’m obsessing about when it’s going to rain again for the garden.
  9. Captain Willard

    How does your garden grow?

    This is my allotment today, still a good couple of months away from peak flowering. There are about 150 plots on the site and I am the only one growing solely fruit trees and flowers; mainly dahlias, roses, gladioli and sunflowers. Everyone else is growing vegetables but I can’t be arsed. I like flowers and ponds for amphibians. It is a little place of peace where I can do whatever I like. When you share your house with 5 kids, 2 dogs and a wife you need a space on the planet to call your own. Costs me £1 a week in rent.
  10. Captain Willard

    How does your garden grow?

    I read today that the massive Mappiness study of human happiness has concluded that the 4 things that contribute most to individuals happiness are nature, exercise, cooking and gardening. You can see that from this thread, maybe not so much in the Breakfast one.
  11. Sweet home Alabama is basically a riposte to Neil Young’s Southern man and mentions him twice.
  12. Captain Willard

    Transgender stuff - what's going on?

    They committed a minor assault on a female protestor in full view of the police without any intervention.
  13. Captain Willard

    Instant cunt identifiers

    People who don’t sit down straightaway on boarding but have to rummage through their bag to get their water, book etc and hold the rest of the passengers up. It’s a 6 hour fucking flight, you can get your precious water at some point in the next 6 hours. Drives me insane.
  14. Captain Willard

    Rate your local chippy

    The one thing I really miss living in the south is chip ships that sell steak and kidney puddings. When I retire in 5 years I may move to the north just for this alone.
  15. Captain Willard

    Bald

    Yes it’s a myth. The cold weather can be bad for the skin but apart that you’re fine.
  16. Captain Willard

    Bald

    I’m very happy being bald. I have shaved my head so I look like a thug and get left alone, no haircuts and no shampoo or conditioner . It’s brilliant.
  17. Captain Willard

    Eurovision Song Contest

    This Portuguese song is dreary health spa shit
  18. Captain Willard

    Eurovision Song Contest

    I’ve got £5 e/w at 6:1
  19. Captain Willard

    Eurovision Song Contest

    The uk are probably going to come second.
  20. Captain Willard

    Eurovision Song Contest

    I love it. Decent rose, some cheese and I’m settled for the night.
  21. Captain Willard

    little things that annoy the shit out of you

    My youngest plays in a football team. Last night we hosted an end of season barbecue, few awards, present for the coach etc. one of the dads came along, drank a lot of my beers, ate a load if food then told me “in confidence “ that his son was leaving us to play for our rivals next season. Wanker.
  22. Captain Willard

    You hate it, but everyone else loves it.

    Homous. It’s just baby sick. I hate it and everything associated with it.
  23. Captain Willard

    Transgender stuff - what's going on?

    The guardian article is an interesting insight, the journalist avoids using any pronouns throughout even though the convention would be to subsequently say he or she having named the subject in the first sentence. The guardian is becoming a parody of itself.
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