Date thread

[Bjornebye]

Cock on wheels you will look like. Pick her up in a taxi, half-cut. She will enjoy herself more.

[KMD7]

[Chairman Meow]

What you need spunky is an old knackered pink BMW with a sticker on the back of it of a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow. 

 

I had a date with a girl from pof who clearly thought I was a complete and utter bell end (she possibly had a point) and looked like she had about a million other places she would rather have been than out with me. Still got a blow job out of it though. 

 

Guaranteed clunge magnet. 

[Nunavut Patrick]

I would just like to add the I passed through customs in Paris Nord with i am ripped and Canadian, sorry about that, eh. Birist Border Force said where you going so I fibbed and said IOW to visit my sister, she. married an English national...he said sorry to hear that and waved me through. I Am going there but not until Thursday.

 

Do you reckon they will follow me to Liverpool and bang me up for lying?

 

Fuckig got inot the Moosehad at taht Canadain bar on the left bank.

 

Bang her Bob!

[Bob]

Haha, what was that supposed to be aboot?

[Champ]

Haha, what was that supposed to be aboot?

 

Pat's started on the Heineken early today

[Mook]

Pat is permanently fucking blootered.

 

[Liverpool lad]

Stay safe out there lads.

 

Dating is a minefield, one of the reasons I settled down with Mrs LL to save anymore time on the dating scene, she knows this

[General Dryness]

I'm picking her up from her's so I've already got to clean the car, and I'm away a lot this week, so I'll sort give the shared parts of the house a once over ( it's my turn on the rota) and have to hope that sheets I've only used twice since washing yesterday will suffice I reckon.

 

I'm mainly only picking her up so that she can see I own a merc.

 

[melons]

I'm picking her up from her's so I've already got to clean the car, and I'm away a lot this week, so I'll sort give the shared parts of the house a once over ( it's my turn on the rota) and have to hope that sheets I've only used twice since washing yesterday will suffice I reckon.

 

I'm mainly only picking her up so that she can see I own a merc.

 

I'm not materialistic and don't go for the type of blokes that go on and on about cars houses work ect, but remember going on a date with a bloke a so called mate had set me up with. She's still not forgiven. Anyway, he's bragging about how well he'd done for himself ect and despite only replying to around a third of his texts and calls he wasn't taking the hint. I go for a date just so I can say no thanks dear. 

 

The merc was about 15 years old and he was about 4ft11". I reckon his house would have looked like something from the good life. 

 

Most uncomfortable dinner date, EVER. 

[Spy Bee]

I have a date tomorrow. It's my first date for over a year I reckon. I mean, like a proper official date.

[cloggypop]

I have a date tomorrow. It's my first date for over a year I reckon. I mean, like a proper official date.

Are you getting picked up in a Merc?

 

[Bjornebye]

I have a date tomorrow. It's my first date for over a year I reckon. I mean, like a proper official date.

Bum it

[VladimirIlyich]

Bum it

The Merc?

 

Right up the tailpipe.

[Spy Bee]

Bum it

I always do that and then lose respect for it. The challenge is not to.

[Adebisi]

Anything less than a passionate kiss (with your hands all over her body) on the first date and you may as well fuck her off. 

In all honesty though you should be getting so much more. If you're not, it probably wasn't a very good date. You've only got to be funny, charming, interesting and good looking! Whether you're 20 or 50, the same rules apply.. be cool, a little cheeky, confident, spontaneous.. all that shit. Girls like to think they're unique and not like others, but they're all the same really, they all respond to the same shtick

One time me and my mates went to this gallery opening and there was this fit lass working there. I went over and spoke to her as soon as I had a drink. I didn't try anything on, just had a nice little chat and established whether or not she was attracted to me. When I realised she was I wandered off with the attention of talking to again later to get her number. A few hours/drinks later and she comes out into the smoking area and I shout her over with an 'Oi' she comes over all happy and I pretend I forget her name. She seems annoyed and a little offended and so I lie again and tell her that I've chatted to so many women tonight that I think I should be forgiven for forgetting hers. She looks at me with disgust and walks off while I yell 'You didn't give me your number!'

The evening is coming to an end now and she's at the reception seeing people off and so I go over. She sees me coming and occupies herself with something on the desk so she doesn't have to look at me. I ask 'Are you gonna give me your number then or what?' She looks up and shakes her head 'You can't be serious?' I tell her that she can either give me her number or I'll keep coming into the gallery until she does..'Hmmm yeah that isn't creepy at all. Good luck with that' is the reply. She then asks me to leave and I say 'OK then. Sorry. I do apologise, I was only fooling around. I think I need to re-evaluate my approach, I'm a sweetie-pie really. Here's my number if you change your mind. Take care.' Smiled, left, got a text 2 hours later saying 'I suppose I'll let you take me out sometime, but it better be somewhere nice!' To which I obviously replied 'Which one are you then? I gave my number to a lot of ladies this evening..' 

In the end I was 'too immature' (and drunk) for her, but we had a lot of fun and I even managed to fuck her in the gallery which was nice. 

[Nunavut Patrick]

Pat is permanently fucking blootered.

Aye, I do tend to get tucked in a bit early when I am over but time zones do my head in.

 

All good now, got propositioned outside Kings Cross, do you have a nice hotel room? Umm, no its literally a bed and a toilet. And i dont think i can sneak you past the fucking Russian working at the front desk. As well, I blew my last twenty notes on a steak and ale pie and two pints at the Euston Flyer pub. She seemed nice, came out of fruit machine shop, redkon she just wanted money for that.

 

I hope Bob gets laid, I sleep alone tonite...

[Bjornebye]

Shag the cunts tits off

[Bob]

Bagged another. Only a Starbucks date, but fit as and she pushed me for the date. Great for rebuilding my battered self esteem this.

[Fowlers God]

I date my wife, we do everything we would normally do on that day but we call it a date night!

[Chairman Meow]

Bagged another. Only a Starbucks date, but fit as and she pushed me for the date. Great for rebuilding my battered self esteem this.

 

The internet is a wonderful thing.

[Bob]

The internet is a wonderful thing.

My (ex) wife didn't seem to think so!!

[Bob]

I have a date tomorrow. It's my first date for over a year I reckon. I mean, like a proper official date.

How did you get on?

[Bjornebye]

He has been pulling the head off it since about 10 last night to xhamster.com

 

Probably fake taxi. The London one. Busty blonde. The one with Victoria Summers. Blonde with the boss norks. Boss that one. Acting's not great but you know, you could imagine it happening. yeah he is choking the chicken to that. guaranteed.

[Spy Bee]

How did you get on?

She turned out to be only 23 (I'm 36). She was nice, we went for food and drinks and conversation flowed. She's really pretty, but I don't think I fancy her.