Marcas

Keita...shakes head and exhales. Remember back before he joined he was supposed to be some hybrid Kante/Essien wrecking ball who was gonna seriously fuck-up the opposition? Instead we got our version of George Weah’s cousin, albeit with a nicer line in 5 yard passes...

All of the Carra pods were brill (loved Merson’s), but this one was...odd. I can’t forget the sight of him in a Utd shirt, or the fact he fucked off to Real (Question: would we have won number 5 had he stuck with us? Who knows). But at the end of the day he was fucking brilliant for us and the numbers on the wall of Champions would fairly different but for him. So yeah, odd feelings on this one. I can’t say I hate any ex players....except that cunt Diouf of course, I’d have that fucker on the back of the truck in a heartbeat!

Agree on the 3 you highlighted Dave, they were total balls and I’d be embarrassed if I were in their shoes. No doubt Klopp will have shared his ‘thoughts’ with them. Div as well, I know what you mean about playing out of position, but that ‘chasing back’ in the 2nd half when he looked like he’d been shot in the leg was shocking. Any of the 1st team squad players who haven’t played in a while should be drafted in for the replay. Keita would probably pull another four muscles and be out to the new year though....

Taylor’s a disgrace, illegitimate bastard child of Howard Webb, Mark my words!

Gonna add my agreement on Chirivella, it would be a crime if he doesn’t make it somewhere. Excellent on the ball, superb passing skills and plays with his head up. If he’d an extra yard of pace he’d be some package, but regardless, hopefully he get’s a move to decent club where he’ll thrive.

Keita definitely isn’t the same player at all. I couldn’t wait for him to join as I was expecting a thoroughly nasty fucker who’d score, create and generally get on the tits of opposition players and fans alike. And we ended up with what exactly? Yeah he’s neat on the ball, but it seems he’s a totally one-paced lightweight. Where’s the guy who would have started a fight in an empty room, the guy who was voted the best MF player in Germany at one stage? Like...What happened??

Spot on on many levels Dave: the Arse players and fans giving it the beans when they went 4-2 (and you’re spot-on, it was it was a Champion’s League semi to hear the way the fuckers got on); VDB looking out of his depth and Keita...looking out of his depth! I can’t remember a more disappointing signing than Keita; injuries or not he’s been bang average apart from a 4 or 5 game spell at the tail end of last season. But we shelled £54 large for this lad band he’s been a disaster.

Did you see what that bell-end agent posted on instagram today....?? Holy good god!

I’d say this was the one most of us were looking forward to and it didn’t disappoint Dave. Here’s My take: We’ve all seen new signings come in before and make a huge impact - The King, Barnes, everyone will have their favourite. And while nothing can diminish what they achieved, they did it with winning teams. I don’t know what sort of sales job Klopp did with Virg (snow and Eskimos come to mind!) but this immense beast of a player chose us when he could have taken the oil-coin and guaranteed success elsewhere. I’ve never seen anything like it, from his first match against the blueshite he has been nothing short of sensational. It does seem he genuinely loves the club (although we’ve all been stung on that front before) and wants to fulfil his ambitions here. Put like this, If he leads us upward and adds a Prem winner’s medal to his haul with us I’ll personally carry the foundation stone for the fucking coolest looking statue at Anfield!

If we’d had the foresight to get him when he was leaving Leeds all those years ago, can you imagine? He’s just the epitome of how players should conduct themselves on and off. Love to see him finish his career with us and then move into coaching our lads straightaway....no one’s going to take any liberties with this guy! 8.5 for me

Here’s the thing: Dejan would be first pick CB for Utd and Arse, would certainly threaten the first 11 at the Chavs and I’d have him over Stones. He’s had his horror stories but on his day he’s brilliant, his team mates obviously love him and we have two CBs with injury records not a million miles off Darren Anderton territory. Why is keeping him even a debate?

Super report Dave. On a slightly different note, was I alone in feeling a gnawing sense of...dunno, something, when Maura got spuds through with the last kick of the game...?

Picture this scenario: it’s the 90th minute and city are desperate for the winner when their latest move breaks down and a ball over the top means Vardy’s away one on one, only to be rugby tackled by Fernandinho, who controversially is only booked. The free kick comes to nothing and city romp down the other end and Fernandinho gets on the end of the cross and the ball is judge to be 1mm over the line. My question is this: who do you shoot first? The Ref? Gary Neville? Knowing our fucking luck this isn’t too much of a stretch....

Agree with every single word. And how come when we have one of the best ball playing CBs in the world it’s Joel fucking Matip running down blind allays and passing the ball to the other team? There’s no part of that shit right!

Couldn’t disagree with any of the review Dave, thought Sturridge was a fucking disgrace (what’s with the half-arsed strolling around the centre circle attempting flicks which NEVER come off ffs?), Moreno’s a fucktard, Origi’s a championship level player at best and Mig, oh dear. Biggest worry is the £52 large we dropped on the amazing disappearing Nabi. Seriously wtf? One excellent turn, 24 step overs and a couple of decent passes does not £52m make. Thought this was tailor-made for him but he totally stank it out...