What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Guest]

57 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Looks more like one of these bastards.

 

A turd? 

[Mudface]

For the best part of a year, my youngest would only eat that shite for his school dinner. I used to hate cutting it up first thing in the morning to make his roll or sandwich, foul stuff.

[A Red]

The mrs had suggested the idea of a teatime fry up this afternoon and I was captivated, well its Saturday I thought and as I said, I told her to make sure to pop an oxo cube in the beans and she gave me a wink, I slapped her arse and off she wiggled.

 

Anyway, I sat down at the table in my shirt, collar off and braces down obviously (its the weekend) and she presented me with egg, bacon and beans. Fucking hell.

[YorkshireRed]

13 hours ago, The Gaul said:

I was thinking I might do it tomorrow. I think a fry up can be eaten anytime. 

I very much enjoy the occasional breakfast for tea. Making these is one of the wife’s many qualities. Although my Sunday Roasts trump hers, she wins hands down in the fry up championship of our house.

 

The only regular complaint I have is that she always asks if I want beans with it. As if any right minded breakfast chef should ever need to ask. 

[Barrington Womble]

The wife and kids are away this weekend, so I'm home alone eating my way through random leftovers in the fridge and freezer. So I made this fry up this morning with some tlw help. So let's start there

 

Beans - I had half a can in the fridge. I'd never thought of adding marmite or oxo to them before , no idea why as I stick marmite in all kinds. However I gave it a roll with marmite, and it was as nice as I was expecting. 

Fried bread - using the lifey method. I was always shit at fried bread till I followed his rapeseed oil and butter combo. Perfect. 

Bacon - 3 slices. Not sure what was going on with that. I think it was from my butcher, but it must have been some weird lockdown leftovers as it was much thinner than he would normally sell. It was still tasty though. 

Ulster Fry. 3 slices. Delicious. 

3 sausage - "old English" from my butcher, which are brilliant. They're very herby, like a Lincolnshire. 

Scrambled egg - the only eggs in the fridge were some crappy ones the missus had got to bake with, so I decided to make them into my scrambled eggs, flavoured up with several splashes of worcestershire sauce, butter, milk and cheese. I should eat more scrambled egg.

Fried potatoes - there was a left over baked spud in the fridge which I mashed up with some butter and cheese, added a tiny bit of paprika. 

 

All in all I was pretty happy with that considering it was made from odds and sods. But sausages are always a winner for me and the quality of them certainly made the difference. 

 

[PestiRed]

Frankly I’m surprised your wife is allowed to leave you on your own without supervision if that’s the type of thing you get up to

[lifetime fan]

Far from my best effort but when you’re cooking breakfast drinking a pint with the shakes...

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

12 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Far from my best effort but when you’re cooking breakfast drinking a pint with the shakes...

 

 

What's under the egg?

[YorkshireRed]

49 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

The wife and kids are away this weekend, so I'm home alone eating my way through random leftovers in the fridge and freezer. So I made this fry up this morning with some tlw help. So let's start there

 

Beans - I had half a can in the fridge. I'd never thought of adding marmite or oxo to them before , no idea why as I stick marmite in all kinds. However I gave it a roll with marmite, and it was as nice as I was expecting. 

Fried bread - using the lifey method. I was always shit at fried bread till I followed his rapeseed oil and butter combo. Perfect. 

Bacon - 3 slices. Not sure what was going on with that. I think it was from my butcher, but it must have been some weird lockdown leftovers as it was much thinner than he would normally sell. It was still tasty though. 

Ulster Fry. 3 slices. Delicious. 

3 sausage - "old English" from my butcher, which are brilliant. They're very herby, like a Lincolnshire. 

Scrambled egg - the only eggs in the fridge were some crappy ones the missus had got to bake with, so I decided to make them into my scrambled eggs, flavoured up with several splashes of worcestershire sauce, butter, milk and cheese. I should eat more scrambled egg.

Fried potatoes - there was a left over baked spud in the fridge which I mashed up with some butter and cheese, added a tiny bit of paprika. 

 

All in all I was pretty happy with that considering it was made from odds and sods. But sausages are always a winner for me and the quality of them certainly made the difference. 

 

I generally approve which I know will be important to you. Looks decent quality ingredients and a solid combination. I’m no fan of scrambled eggs but I accept your explanation as to why you chose this method.

 

My only real issue and it is quite a big one I’m afraid is the direction your fried bread is pointing in. Crust should be on the outside of the plate. Appreciate this could just be me but I’d struggle to get past this if someone served it up to me. Quality of sausage or not. 

[Barrington Womble]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I generally approve which I know will be important to you. Looks decent quality ingredients and a solid combination. I’m no fan of scrambled eggs but I accept your explanation as to why you chose this method.

 

My only real issue and it is quite a big one I’m afraid is the direction your fried bread is pointing in. Crust should be on the outside of the plate. Appreciate this could just be me but I’d struggle to get past this if someone served it up to me. Quality of sausage or not. 

The crust stops the beans soaking through the fried slice. 

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, The Gaul said:

The crust stops the beans soaking through the fried slice. 

Ok - the fried bread version of the Hoover Dam. In that case, congratulations on an innovative breakfast. 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, The Gaul said:

What's under the egg?

Cellophane

[Anubis]

Looks like some sort of cheese.

[YorkshireRed]

I’ve just checked the back garden to obtain an appropriate comparison. I can confirm, it’s highly likely to be a dog turd, probably from a medium sized pooch. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, The Gaul said:

What's under the egg?

Looks like a tampon, a sausage, a hash brown and a snake.

[TheHowieLama]

Want to give Baz the benefit of the doubt as he was using up some leftovers but the visual along the bottom of the plate of the beans, into scrambled egg into mashed potato is unforgiveable.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Polystyrene and cellophane, might bung you up Col.

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, The Gaul said:

The wife and kids are away this weekend, so I'm home alone eating my way through random leftovers in the fridge and freezer. So I made this fry up this morning with some tlw help. So let's start there

 

Beans - I had half a can in the fridge. I'd never thought of adding marmite or oxo to them before , no idea why as I stick marmite in all kinds. However I gave it a roll with marmite, and it was as nice as I was expecting. 

Fried bread - using the lifey method. I was always shit at fried bread till I followed his rapeseed oil and butter combo. Perfect. 

Bacon - 3 slices. Not sure what was going on with that. I think it was from my butcher, but it must have been some weird lockdown leftovers as it was much thinner than he would normally sell. It was still tasty though. 

Ulster Fry. 3 slices. Delicious. 

3 sausage - "old English" from my butcher, which are brilliant. They're very herby, like a Lincolnshire. 

Scrambled egg - the only eggs in the fridge were some crappy ones the missus had got to bake with, so I decided to make them into my scrambled eggs, flavoured up with several splashes of worcestershire sauce, butter, milk and cheese. I should eat more scrambled egg.

Fried potatoes - there was a left over baked spud in the fridge which I mashed up with some butter and cheese, added a tiny bit of paprika. 

 

All in all I was pretty happy with that considering it was made from odds and sods. But sausages are always a winner for me and the quality of them certainly made the difference. 

 

You’re gonna get us all banged up you stupid bastard 

[Pidge]

Gotta love a nice, evenly-cooked, banger.

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Pidge said:

Gotta love a nice, evenly-cooked, banger.

He cooked it with a soldering iron

[Remmie]

The fucking scrambled eggs are touching the bean juice. Repugnant, despicable and depraved. 

[Strontium]

Why do people call it bean juice when it's tomato sauce? Never been able to figure it out.

[Remmie]

1 minute ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Why do people call it bean juice when it's tomato sauce? Never been able to figure it out.

Because it shouldn't be confused with a perfectly respectable condiment. 

 

Bin juice would be a better description

[Trumo]

11 minutes ago, Remmie said:

The fucking scrambled eggs are touching the bean juice. Repugnant, despicable and depraved. 

 

I'm not convinced that that's what they are.

[mattyq]

Looks great and then the beans

Rancid Aids juice polluting a perfectly sound breakfast