The world of a woman.

[Harry Squatter]

The taking stuff back routine Does my head in, especially when they buy it from some obscure place like the Trafford Centre, Cheshire Oaks or even Meadowhall. They will then make a day of it and probably buy more stuff while they are there.

 

My sister used to work in Debenhams and said there were the same 20 or so women coming back in every other week with tons of stuff they want to return, always saying that they never had time to try stuff on in the shop or it looked "different " in the shop when they tried it on. Thy we're called Bulimic shoppers. Despite never having the time to try it on in the shop they always found time to try it on at home, moan about it not fitting then come back into town, queue up and explain why they didn't want it then kickoff if the shop only gave them a credit note.

[lifetime fan]

That does my fucking head in, my missus is a bugger for it. Phonecalls do not require co-pilots.

As soon as you hang up...

 

'Did you ask about so and so'?

 

No. You know I didn't, you just stood there and listened to every fucking word of the conversation woman!

[Trumo]

I fucking hate waiting outside the changing rooms like a fucking pervert. Every clothes shop we go in she tries stuff on then walks out with a 'i'm too fat for it' comment then goes into a mood yet I suggest a look in a shop for me (I never try stuff on) and she gets all arsey and hurries me up. 

 

I don't do that. I always tell them I'll be in one of the shops opposite. They're usually mobile phone shops or discount clothes shops anyway so it's not in any way pervy.

[Trumo]

Imagine the following scenario. You are driving into town to go shopping (out-of-town places usually have free parking) and the best option is to park in the main car park or an NCP - basically you get the ticket as you drive in, and pay for it when you leave.

 

- If you go by yourself or with a group of mates (no women in the car basically), you will ALWAYS finish up well before the hour is up so you won't end up going into the next price band. This will be the case even though nobody is clock-watching.

 

- If you go with your missus or there are any women with you, you will NEVER finish before the hour is up and will ALWAYS end up paying into the next price band. And it's always about 5 minutes into the next price band. This will be the case even though nobody in clock-watching.

 

If you are unsure about any of the above, try it as a little experiment next time.

[Harry Squatter]

Thing on BBC News about the Boxing Day sales and interviewed a load of people queuing up outside Next in Birmingham at 5am. They interviewed two thick Middle Aged women who said they weren't going to buy anything but came along for the whole experience of it.

 

Yep, queue up in the freezing cold, pissing rain at 5am in Bixing Day when you should be sleeping off your hangover to get knocked out of the way by a load of rabid twats who would elbow you in the face to get you out the at of them buying a jumper for 30 quid which has 20 quid knocked off. That sounds like a right laugh.

[General Dryness]

I fucking hate waiting outside the changing rooms like a fucking pervert. Every clothes shop we go in she tries stuff on then walks out with a 'i'm too fat for it' comment then goes into a mood yet I suggest a look in a shop for me (I never try stuff on) and she gets all arsey and hurries me up. 

 

To be fair Stig, if you offer to show every woman that goes in or out your impression of an elephant, you're going to get labelled.

 

Every womens clothes shop has the Throne of the Pussywhipped, a chair for the bloke to sit in whilst the woman is trying stuff on. Thats usually my spot.

[Bjornebye]

To be fair Stig, if you offer to show every woman that goes in or out your impression of an elephant, you're going to get labelled.

 

Every womens clothes shop has the Throne of the Pussywhipped, a chair for the bloke to sit in whilst the woman is trying stuff on. Thats usually my spot.

 

Good point. 

[stringvest]

Fuck that shit.  You boys.  Tell her she's going shopping on her own.  

 

And there's never a surer indicator of a cunt than women (or men actually) who are prepared to get up at the crack of dawn to chav-fight fellow cunts in the pursuit of 50% off a really shit piece of tasteless and cheap tat at Next.  Fat loud blotchy women using pushchairs full of snotty-nosed minging kids as weapons. Eeeeuugh.

[lifetime fan]

Fuck that shit. You boys. Tell her she's going shopping on her own.

 

And there's never a surer indicator of a cunt than women (or men actually) who are prepared to get up at the crack of dawn to chav-fight fellow cunts in the pursuit of 50% off a really shit piece of tasteless and cheap tat at Next. Fat loud blotchy women using pushchairs full of snotty-nosed minging kids as weapons. Eeeeuugh.

When it's all on the next website anyway...

[Harry Squatter]

I took the Mrs and her niece once to town, I went and bought two pairs of jeans, a shirt and a pair of trainers in 3 different shops, took me less than an hour, they went into about 12 shops, tried everything on in every shop, took 2 and a half hours and never bought a thing.

[Curly]

So you got it for 99p?

This is great banter!

[Paulie Dangerously]

I bought 5 tops from 2 shops in 35 minutes today and 50% of that was queuing time. When I go in a shop I know within 10 secs if I'll make a purchase.

 

The guards must think I'm scoping the place out because I'm in and out so quick

[Harry Squatter]

SAS Mission

[DJLJ]

I took the Mrs and her niece once to town, I went and bought two pairs of jeans, a shirt and a pair of trainers in 3 different shops, took me less than an hour, they went into about 12 shops, tried everything on in every shop, took 2 and a half hours and never bought a thing.

 

Or go back to the first shop again and start all over...

[General Dryness]

Fuck that shit.  You boys.  Tell her she's going shopping on her own.  

 

And there's never a surer indicator of a cunt than women (or men actually) who are prepared to get up at the crack of dawn to chav-fight fellow cunts in the pursuit of 50% off a really shit piece of tasteless and cheap tat at Next.  Fat loud blotchy women using pushchairs full of snotty-nosed minging kids as weapons. Eeeeuugh.

 

Stringy, all of this is very easy to say when you do all of your clothes shopping here. http://www.re-enactmentsupplies.co.uk/

[Lee909]

Dont let Stig look he will be changing uphis winkle pickers for a pair of these in no time.

[VladimirIlyich]

For some reason you always cave in and go shopping with them, even though you know you'll be wasting your time. It's worse around Christmas time or whenever there's a sale on. They'll spend a lifetime perusing through mountains of shite and have 100 reasons for why the item in their hand isn't quite right, yet they'll insist on trying it on, umm-ing and arr-ing and expecting you to make the decision for them. They'll go against your decision regardless. They'll buy cookies, milkshakes and such like and then moan later on about putting on weight. They'll need to visit the ladies room every 15 minutes. Then when you decide you need to visit the gents (after several hours of tagging along), they'll sigh loudly and look at you with that "well hurry the fuck up then!" face. Before deciding to go again anyway.

Not me!

I always kicked off when I went shopping so now the missus just asks me to pick her up when she's finished it. Result.

[chrisbonnie]

Here's a mad capped idea. You could all just grow a pair and say you're not going shopping with her?

 

 

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

 

 

[Champ]

Fuck that shit.  You boys.  Tell her she's going shopping on her own.  

 

And there's never a surer indicator of a cunt than women (or men actually) who are prepared to get up at the crack of dawn to chav-fight fellow cunts in the pursuit of 50% off a really shit piece of tasteless and cheap tat at Next.  Fat loud blotchy women using pushchairs full of snotty-nosed minging kids as weapons. Eeeeuugh.

 

 

In one, sir. I'd rather pay full price for something than put myself through that hell. There's a clue in there...if it didnt sell at full price its probably because there's something wrong with it. Its in an extreme size or its hideous

 

And the only time he gets to come shopping with me is if he's buying or its for taking off

[stringvest]

What a saucepot you are Cath.

[Champ]

I thought that made the point without frightening the horses

[lifetime fan]

I thought that made the point without frightening the horses

 

You call your son horseface?

 

 

 

Poor bastard.

[Champ]

Eats like a horse. The similarity ends there

[General Dryness]

Eats like a horse. The similarity ends there

 

Let the lad retain a bit of mystery, for fucks sake.

[Trumo]

I bought 5 tops from 2 shops in 35 minutes today and 50% of that was queuing time. When I go in a shop I know within 10 secs if I'll make a purchase.

 

The guards must think I'm scoping the place out because I'm in and out so quick

 

And I bet you're now thinking about how you're going to return those blouses.