The world of a woman.

[Lee909]

.

[Lee909]

[Bjornebye]

Watching stargazers earlier and they were in norway, she genuinely said "They speak Finnish in norway don't they?"

 

I relied saying "No, Norwegian obviously"

 

She looked at me like I was blagging and said "shut up, they are all in scandanavia so its Finnish"

 

 

scary 

[A_S]

Girl at work on the phone to a freight company we deal with organised pick-up of a separate product on the same load as the delivery of the original product.

 

(OH PHONE TO FREIGHT GUY:) '......Awesome, thanks a lot. It's always handy to be able to kill two stones like that.'

 

When she hung up she honestly didn't know why I was still laughing.

[Champ]

 

I dont know what you're on about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I might be lying

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Keeping the peace between a hormonal 46 year old and her 15 year old hormonal step daughter at the moment. Feel like Big John McCarthy.

[General Dryness]

Keeping the peace between a hormonal 46 year old and her 15 year old hormonal step daughter at the moment. Feel like Big John McCarthy.

How do you make a hormone?

 

Refuse to pay her.

[Alan Sex]

How do you make a hormone?

 

Refuse to pay her.

I always thought it was

 

Hang her by her wrists in the cellar and poke her flesh with a branding iron.

[General Dryness]

I always thought it was

 

Hang her by her wrists in the cellar and poke her flesh with a branding iron.

The real answer is 'tell her you're Peter Sutcliffe on day release'.

[Champ]

Oh, I've missed your double act

[Trumo]

Oh, I've missed your double act

 

When suffering from general dryness, you love a bit of alan sex?

[lifetime fan]

Going to see my ol fella lunch time today, I'm on the approach coming on to the motorway doing about 55/60 and the fucking splitass in front of me does an emergency stop and then indicates to join the inside lane of the motorway.

 

Stupid cunt.

[manwiththestick]

Going to see my ol fella lunch time today, I'm on the approach coming on to the motorway doing about 55/60 and the fucking splitass in front of me does an emergency stop and then indicates to join the inside lane of the motorway.

Stupid cunt.

 

Haha, it's not like they can't just carry on and rejoin on the otherside of the approaching roundabout is it?

[lifetime fan]

Haha, it's not like they can't just carry on and rejoin on the otherside of the approaching roundabout is it?

There's no roundabout mate, this is coming onto the motorway and there's another 500 yards at least before this lane ends.

[manwiththestick]

Sorry, misread your post!

[King Gheedorah]

http://hetexted.com/

 

Girls post screenshots of their text conversations with men they like (or in some cases, don’t like) and ask the studio audience what it all means. The readers then vote on whether the guy in the text messaging conversation is into her, not into her, or the verdict is still out.

 

It's hilarious and backs up the old 'treat them mean keep them keen' adage

[littletedwest]

They have no logic

 

I work 45 hours a week. Off today during which I've been the doctors, Seen my dad who is in a care home, seen my mum who I see once a week, been gym, walked the dog and cleaned the bathroom and done dishes.

 

I'm lazy though because I haven't cleaned the front room

 

She only works part time, finishes at 1 after four hours and often "rests her eyes" in the afternoon but I'm lazy!

[General Dryness]

Ever has it been Ted. Of the million things you do get done, its the one thing you didn't get done that you'll hear about.

[niallers]

My Mrs is almost 5 months pregnant and by christ Allah Buddha and the Magic teapot in the sky, she's fucking getting on my nerves. Every little thing's been magnified by a 1000%. Cunts the lot of em.

[General Dryness]

My Mrs is almost 5 months pregnant and by christ Allah Buddha and the Magic teapot in the sky, she's fucking getting on my nerves. Every little thing's been magnified by a 1000%. Cunts the lot of em.

 

It'll get worse before it gets better. The kid will be at least 18 months old before your wifes emotions return to some semblance of normal. Sorry fella. Congratulations though.

[lifetime fan]

Overheard this conversation in town earlier.

 

Woman: I'm going to see the Bee Gees in February with Alice.

Bloke: I think you'll find they're a tribute band.

Woman: No, they're the real thing.

Bloke: At Thornbury Leisure Centre...

Woman: Yes they are the real band. I've got the ticket.

Bloke: Two of them are fucking dead.

Woman: You're just saying that.

[Trumo]

My Mrs is almost 5 months pregnant and by christ Allah Buddha and the Magic teapot in the sky, she's fucking getting on my nerves. Every little thing's been magnified by a 1000%. Cunts the lot of em.

 

Blimey, what's she going to be like in another 4 months?!

[lifetime fan]

Fat.

[md1892]

http://hetexted.com/

 

Girls post screenshots of their text conversations with men they like (or in some cases, don’t like) and ask the studio audience what it all means. The readers then vote on whether the guy in the text messaging conversation is into her, not into her, or the verdict is still out.

 

It's hilarious and backs up the old 'treat them mean keep them keen' adage

Holy shit, reading that utter bilge has broken my mind. It's an insight into psychiatric ward.

[Hand Shandy]

Fat.

Hahahahahahaha!!