The world of a woman.

[chrisbonnie]

On 15/02/2024 at 23:09, Mook said:

My mate went home on the bus the other night & it was only about 11pm so I went down my local for a few brandies, I was standing at the bar minding my own business and this bird turns round from her pals & starts chatting to me. We were getting on like a house on fire for about 20 minutes, even taking the piss out each other, I was finished my drink & spotted she was finished hers so casually said, "Can I get you a drink?".

 

Honestly, you'd think I'd asked for her thoughts on statutory rape. She couldn't get away quick enough. 

 

I rarely speak to girls when I'm out but it'll be even less frequent now. Bunch of fucking mental cases.

 

But being honest, you did hope she wanted to have sex with you, didn't you?? 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

[Mook]

1 hour ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

But being honest, you did hope she wanted to have sex with you, didn't you?? 

 

It's the hope that kills you.

 

 

[YorkshireRed]

2 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

You could give her the answer she wants and it still won’t be good enough. Even if it’s precisely where said V5 is.

 

You won’t have answered with the appropriate tone and/or body language.

 

You won’t have answered quickly and/or loudly enough.

 

You didn’t just go and get it for her. If you did it won’t have been the V5 she wanted, it would have been something else and “it’s typical of you for not knowing that as you never listen to me”.

[littletedwest]

She had a bath the other night. Puts on deodarnt and all them oils women wear. Meanwhile I run another bath.

 

She walk in bathroom, leans over a candle to get her glasses. Then her arm catches fire. 

 

She  plunged her arm into Bath. Luckily she hasn't suffered any burns.

 

Who would have thought dousing your self in accerants and leaning over a candle was silly.

 

Funny thing is she had a dressing gown on. She was saying " I could see how worried you were about me" " not really dressing gowns cost a bomb" luckily that's OK as well.

[Elite]

15 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

She had a bath the other night. Puts on deodarnt and all them oils women wear. Meanwhile I run another bath.

 

She walk in bathroom, leans over a candle to get her glasses. Then her arm catches fire. 

 

She  plunged her arm into Bath. Luckily she hasn't suffered any burns.

 

Who would have thought dousing your self in accerants and leaning over a candle was silly.

 

Funny thing is she had a dressing gown on. She was saying " I could see how worried you were about me" " not really dressing gowns cost a bomb" luckily that's OK as well.

Funny that. Glad she hasn't seriously burnt herself though.

[deiseach]

On 23/12/2023 at 14:28, Section_31 said:

My mrs asks me unnecessary questions which then require further unnecessary answers.

 

If there's, say, a newsreader on telly and nobody else and I say "his hair is terrible".

 

"Who's hair?"

"His hair. The bloke on the telly. The only bloke on the telly."

 

If me and the Mrs were in the first ten minutes of independence day and we walked out the house and I said "what the fuck is that!?" She'd say "what the fuck is what?'

 

"That 11 mile wide alien spaceship".

 

 

When watching things on the telly she will ask me questions that have no answer. Last night we were watching Dune in preperation for seeing the second part in the cinema tonight and she asks me how the spice works. Well, it gets into the blood stream and interacts with the dark matter that connects all the atoms in the universe...I don't know, it's bloody magic! On the other hand, we have watched both seasons so far of The Wheel of Time and she hasn't asked a single question. What would I know about it, I've only read all fourteen fucking books.

[Bruce Spanner]

There was a car parked outside our house this morning where a woman was giving a bloke a proper bollocking.

 

It went on for at least an hour.

 

What the fuck warrants a one hour bollocking that you don’t just tell her to ‘go fuck yourself’ and walk away?

 

[redinblack]

 "Where did I leave that?"

"How do I know?"

 

Thats pretty much it

[Jose Jones]

18 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

I would have thought you knew this by now Paulie, being an experienced ladies man.

Women often when they talk to you do not want their problems solving or logical answers to questions.  What they want is to work through their thoughts out loud to someone who will just make encouraging remarks.

If you do try to solve the issue they get annoyed, because what they really want is to talk for a bit. 
 

[Section_31]

I think I dated this broad.

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, Section_31 said:

I think I dated this broad.

 

 

I bet their lifespan wasn't a very long one.

[TheBitch]

[VladimirIlyich]

22 hours ago, Section_31 said:

I think I dated this broad.

 

 

Vishakanya:'Hey Doctor it feels like I'm pissing Acid'

Doctor 'You are.'

 

[Trumo]

Octopussy used to use them as guards.

[Harry Squatter]

Girl in work comes over to the manager sitting next to me "Bethany has dropped her cash card on the floor but she's already left and I don't have her phone number to tell her"

 

Manager says she also doesn’t have her number so says she will keep hold of it until the next day she is in but will email her on the work email to tell her to collect it from the security staff. Manager then says "what's her surname". Girl says "Haven't got a clue, never really spoke to her". 

 

Manager shakes her head and says "if you look on her cashcard that might give you a clue"

[Creator Supreme]

28 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Girl in work comes over to the manager sitting next to me "Bethany has dropped her cash card on the floor but she's already left and I don't have her phone number to tell her"

 

Manager says she also doesn’t have her number so says she will keep hold of it until the next day she is in but will email her on the work email to tell her to collect it from the security staff. Manager then says "what's her surname". Girl says "Haven't got a clue, never really spoke to her". 

 

Manager shakes her head and says "if you look on her cashcard that might give you a clue"

She probably replied "Her surname's Santander?".

[littletedwest]

38 minutes ago, Harry Squatter said:

Girl in work comes over to the manager sitting next to me "Bethany has dropped her cash card on the floor but she's already left and I don't have her phone number to tell her"

 

Manager says she also doesn’t have her number so says she will keep hold of it until the next day she is in but will email her on the work email to tell her to collect it from the security staff. Manager then says "what's her surname". Girl says "Haven't got a clue, never really spoke to her". 

 

Manager shakes her head and says "if you look on her cashcard that might give you a clue"

Not a woman thing. But when I was a manager in the phone business I had a lad working for me who spoke English as a second language. He was serving a Polish bloke who had a really long name. He kept getting the guys name wrong; finally I said " take the name off his bank card" I walked past five minutes later and he was doing a credit check on Mr Flex Account

[Captain Turdseye]

In the pub the other night and the most cockney bird I’ve ever encountered gravitated towards me and my mate, coked up to fuck, wouldn’t shut up. Bruv, G, not in my yard, ya undastand me, etc, etc. Kept trying to show us pictures of her mate who “Got cut up, bro, no cap”
 

We left that pub after one drink to get away from her. I was telling this story to my missus last night and as soon as I said “the most cockney girl…” she stopped me and said she knew who it was, told me to stop talking while she got the bird’s Facebook page up. It was her as well. 
 

Turns out it’s her mate’s niece who she’s told me tales of before. She’s not from London, never lived there, born and lived in this town over an away from the smoke her whole life. Fucking bizarre, people don’t talk like that here. She’s 35 years old, this broad, and she’s white. Mental. 
 

Think about the worst plastic scouser you’ve heard (not me, Stig, you knob) and multiply it by ten. 

[TheHowieLama]

Saudi in as "checks notes" the United Nations Chair on Gender Equality.

 

Ahead of an expected announcement placing Saudi Arabia at the helm of the UN women’s rights forum, a stark divide has emerged between international aspirations for gender equality and the kingdom’s record on women’s rights. Amnesty International’s Deputy Director for Advocacy, Sherine Tadros, encapsulates the controversy: “Saudi Arabia’s abysmal record when it comes to protecting and promoting the rights of women puts a spotlight on the vast gulf between the lived reality for women and girls in Saudi Arabia, and the aspirations of the Commission.”

Saudi Arabia’s recent legislative steps, including the 2022 Personal Status Law and a leaked draft of its first written penal code, have been criticized for entrenching gender-based discrimination and failing to protect women from gender-based violence, instead of addressing these issues.

The draft penal code is reported to grant immunity to perpetrators of “honor crimes,” fails to criminalize marital rape, and criminalizes consensual sexual relations outside of marriage. The report by Amnesty International calls attention to the severe consequences these laws could have on women’s rights in Saudi Arabia.

 

The appointment of Saudi Arabia as chair is seen by many as a decision that not only overlooks the kingdom’s track record on women’s rights but also undermines the integrity of the Commission on the Status of Women.

 

 

This incident is not in isolation. The international community recently grappled with a similar dissonance when Iran was appointed to chair the UN Human Rights Council Social Forum, despite ongoing repression and human rights violations within its borders, according to feedback from Iranian civil society.

This pattern of controversial appointments to human rights bodies has sparked a call for reform and a reflection on the message it sends to the international community regarding the UN’s commitment to the very principles it promotes.

 

[Pete]

The Saudi's want to buy everything. 

[Bob]

9 minutes ago, Pete said:

The Saudi's want to buy everything. 

And Capitalism wants to let them.

[TheHowieLama]

7 minutes ago, Bob said:

And Capitalism wants to let them.

 

Are you suggesting that Capitalism should be restricted?

 

Or that the UN is for sale?

[VladimirIlyich]

54 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Are you suggesting that Capitalism should be restricted?

 

Or that the UN is for sale?

Everybody has a price. Very few know their value.

[Pidge]

On 17/03/2024 at 02:32, Jose Jones said:

I would have thought you knew this by now Paulie, being an experienced ladies man.

Women often when they talk to you do not want their problems solving or logical answers to questions.  What they want is to work through their thoughts out loud to someone who will just make encouraging remarks.

If you do try to solve the issue they get annoyed, because what they really want is to talk for a bit. 
 

Really? My interpretation of that was she was basically saying "help find the v5 you lazy twat".