What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Curly]

12 hours ago, Remmie said:

My list of things to try dipping into a boiled egg:

 

Halloumi

Breadstick

Cheddar fingers

My penis

Quavers

Croissant

Chips

Another egg

Crumpet

 

 

“Another egg” got me good

[Curly]

6 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

 

[Barrington Womble]

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

[Trumo]

11 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

 

They'll be using their Smartprice range where all the ingredients cost £1 combined.

[Trumo]

On 02/11/2021 at 12:22, Carvalho Diablo said:

Frijoles Mexicanos picantes, salchichas, huevos y queso el diablo on toast

 

 

True story. Terry Waite was offered something like that as his first post-freedom meal, and he immediately requested to be chained to a radiator in a Beirut ruin with a malnourished rat for company.

[Bjornebye]

40 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

Can you post the picture of your Asda brekkie mate? You appear to have posted an image of John Wayne Gacys final meal. 

[Rushies tash]

42 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Rushies tash said:

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

Usually in a vat of petrol, just chuck a match in 2 minutes before serving. 

[Curly]

2 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

“How do you want your sausages done?”

”I’ll have one cooked and one raw please”

”Of course. And the bacon?”

”Same again”

[Barrington Womble]

1 hour ago, Rushies tash said:

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

Use white bread that is a bit stale. Heat the pan hot, use a mixture of butter and rapeseed oil (I actually use mostly lurpak spreadable which is that combination anyway, maybe a little dash of rapeseed). And cook. That's it. Fucking delicious. 

[Barrington Womble]

Just now, Belarus said:

“How do you want you sausages done?”

”I’ll have one cooked and one raw please”

”Of course. And the bacon?”

”Same again”

I think the bacon they cooked the 2 pieces together, almost as 1 piece and then separate them for serving. 

[lifetime fan]

5 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Use white bread that is a bit stale. Heat the pan hot, use a mixture of butter and rapeseed oil (I actually use mostly lurpak spreadable which is that combination anyway, maybe a little dash of rapeseed). And cook. That's it. Fucking delicious. 

 

6 hours ago, Rushies tash said:

How did @lifetime fan suggest to cook fried bread? Most of the efforts I've had have been like the one above. So much so, I've stopped having it.

 

This. 
 

Just but a cheapy thin sliced white bread at the beginning of the week and let it go a little stale. You don’t want the bread too fresh or thickly cut as it soaks up too much oil and won’t crisp. 

[General Dryness]

11 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Usually in a vat of petrol, just chuck a match in 2 minutes before serving. 

If you're out of petrol, simply construct a massive catapult and fire the bread into the sun.

[Karl_b]

An awful but commendable effort Barry.

 

Surely the best way to make fried bread is in the bacon fat left in the pan?!

[YorkshireRed]

13 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

Morrison’s would be proud to call that one of their breakfast. Morrison’s also pride themselves on serving up the worst breakfasts known to man.

 

I do note that ASDA appear to keep the tables clean. Fucking show offs. 

[DalyanPete]

14 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

So apologies for what I am about to post. I was in the big asda in aintree this morning. I normally avoid it at costs, but there was something I had to get. And I walked past their cafe and was reminded of the monstrosity I think @YorkshireRed posted from a Morrisons . So in the interests of science and this forum, I took it upon myself to check out the asda breakfast. It was something quite awful. I've had worse, but not by much. 

 

It's their full English, which I think is £5.80, it comes with either toast or fried bread, so the fried bread was an extra 80p. And the tea was £1.10, so about £7.70. 

 

So here's a breakdown

 

2 bacon - undercooked but tasted better than it looked. 

2 egg - overcooked (the hard yokes happened about an hour before I got them I reckon) and cheap shite. 

2 hash browns - they must have been in the warmer since I last visited the big asda sometime during lockdown 1

 Beans - pretty tasty. Probably the best bit anti-beaners. 

2 Sausages - I buy sausages from asda, I quite like them. But this wasn't the ones I buy in store. They weren't the worst sausages I've ever had, but I'm in no rush to eat them again. I tried a Gregg's vegan sausage this week and it was loads better than this. 

Fried bread - fuck me. This was bad. I used to avoid cooking fried bread before this thread got me on the path on how to cook it properly (  © lifey   ) . This was worse than I used to cook, it was really bad. I could actually believe they threw it in the deep fat fryer. 

2 toast - just shite bread. But they at least cooked it. 

 

Over all assessment, I reckon a 3/10. Perhaps 3 is too much. But I reckon still better than that Morrisons one. 

 

 

Isn't Asda choose which items you want?

If it still is, looks like a bad selection.

Hate bacon cooked in the oven. 

[Barrington Womble]

2 hours ago, Karl_b said:

An awful but commendable effort Barry.

 

Surely the best way to make fried bread is in the bacon fat left in the pan?!

All I can say is try the @lifetime fan method. Ally fried bread was shit till then. 

57 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Isn't Asda choose which items you want?

If it still is, looks like a bad selection.

Hate bacon cooked in the oven. 

It was a set breakfast. You could add items for 80p each. I'm glad I didn't add more than my horrible 80p fried bread. I suppose you could have built a breakfast out of 80p extras. 

[DalyanPete]

16 minutes ago, Barrington Womble said:

All I can say is try the @lifetime fan method. Ally fried bread was shit till then. 

It was a set breakfast. You could add items for 80p each. I'm glad I didn't add more than my horrible 80p fried bread. I suppose you could have built a breakfast out of 80p extras. 

Ah right, used to be any 7 items for X£, or that's how I remember it.

Still give it a miss though.

[Guest]

Brooklyn Beckham should be working for a supermarket cafe...

 

 

[Total Longo]

1 hour ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Brooklyn Beckham should be working for a supermarket cafe...

 

 

Undeniable talent right there. Well done, Brooklyn...

[Geoff Woade]

1 hour ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

Brooklyn Beckham should be working for a supermarket cafe...

 

 

I have a hatred for this chap that i will admit is worrying. His middle name should be ‘mediocre’.

Untalented yet given a platform to do everything at the highest level. Fancied being a footballer - went to Arsenal academy despite being crap, fancied being a photographer- got a book deal despite being crap. Wanted to be a model - sure thing, doesn’t matter that you’re a pasty faced, ordinary looking gimp. I’m sure there are plenty more things he’s fancied having a go at and been given the opportunity at the expense of someone else more deserving.

Now he’s on tv making butties that anyone could do. Fucking fuming here! 

[DalyanPete]

33 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

fancied being a photographer

Heard his interview on R1. They asked him what super duper camera he'd used.

His reply......my iPhone.

Which just strengthens all of your arguments about the over privileged twat.

[lifetime fan]

11 minutes ago, DalyanPete said:

Heard his interview on R1. They asked him what super duper camera he'd used.

His reply......my iPhone.

Which just strengthens all of your arguments about the over privileged twat.

Have you seen some of the photos he took in his book? Think it was @Section_31 who posted them before. 
 

There were some incredibly shite wildlife photos and he made a comment about them not standing still so it’s harder to photograph them! 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

On 02/11/2021 at 00:28, Evelyn Tentions said:

While I'm not against meat soldiers, you've wasted half the yolk, in my opinion the best part. I'm not a fan of egg whites. Quail eggs are dirt cheap here and have a higher yolk to white ratio than chook eggs but they're tiny fuckers, about 1/5 the size of a chook egg. One of those sausages would be as wide as the egg. Not that I can find any edible sausages here. I've got myself a sausage stuffer mincer and skins to make my own (which I've been doing for years in Aus.) but unfortunately the kitchen in my little house here isn't conducive to going full Riverside Cottage. I'd also be prepared to offer human sacrifices to get a supply of black puddings.

'Meat soldiers' you filthy bastard.

[DalyanPete]

1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:

Have you seen some of the photos he took in his book? Think it was @Section_31 who posted them before. 
 

There were some incredibly shite wildlife photos and he made a comment about them not standing still so it’s harder to photograph them! 

Surprisingly, it passed me by.

Not standing still is a classic. Fuckin shit for brains.