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Redder Lurtz

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Everything posted by Redder Lurtz

  1. I'd rather have my jack russell in than Origi.
  2. Redder Lurtz

    Peep Show

    WOOHOOOO!!!!! Back on C4 tonight. Fucking ace!
  3. Redder Lurtz


    There are running threads, buggered if I can find them. Since quitting smoking and putting weight on AND having a dodgy knee since last year I've done no running at all. A couple of friends of mine are running the York 10 in August and I'm gutted I'll be missing it. One of them has asked me to go & run round Roundhay Park lake (Leeds) with her tomorrow after work. I must be fucking mental. This could have "heart attack" written all over it. Nice knowing most of you.
  4. Redder Lurtz


    is starting to get right up my fucking nose. A lad I was at school with has made contact. Bear in mind I left school in 1984 and I've not seen him since, there's a lot of reminiscing about teachers and mutual friends and stuff. He was never exactly a close mate though so what on God's clean earth gives the daft cunt the right to offer me every stupid fucking application under the sun? I've just spent the last 10 minutes clearing all the stupid shite he's sent me: "Paul invites you to a sexy pillow fight / Paul has sent you a coffee / tequilla / easter egg / playboy girl / Paul has sent greetings from 'we love mcdonalds / kfc" I mean, just FUCK THE CUNTING FUCK OFF. What the fuck is wrong with some people? The bloke is nearly 40, not fucking sixteen. Fucking dick. Cunt.
  5. Redder Lurtz

    What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

    Listening to a Richard Herring podcast earlier. Which of you cunts sent him in the question "beans on a fry up, yes or no" for Al Murray? Come on, own up.
  6. Examples of the utter shitness of modern football are innumerable. The most recent example is the "Ronaldo v Messi" friendly at old shitford last night, where thousands of willing imbeciles queued up to be gleefully fleeced of fifty quid to watch a pointless friendly, marketed as a footballing masterclass, but in reality was a kick-about by 22 millionaires, the two richest of whom were subbed at half time much to the collective disappointment and outrage of said imbeciles. Fuck off.
  7. Redder Lurtz

    Quote or phrase of the day

    Let's have a couple every day. I've nicked this piece of genius from some bloke who tweeted it in to 5 Live on Thursday night when they were talking about happiness: "Happiness is an overrated concept. There's far more sincerity in cynicism and overt misery" Superb, that.
  8. Redder Lurtz

    Summer 2021 transfer thread.

    Cheers John. For fuck all. You tight, shithouse, absent, invisible cunt.
  9. Redder Lurtz

    Go fuck yourselves FSG

  10. Redder Lurtz

    Chelsea (H) - Sat 28th Aug 2021 (5:30pm)

    That feels like a loss. Fuck off Tuchel, fuck off Chelsea, fuck off 3 minutes injury time. Just fuck off.
  11. Redder Lurtz

    Chelsea (H) - Sat 28th Aug 2021 (5:30pm)

    Azpalukieta epitomises Chelsea. Vile cheating snide prick.
  12. Redder Lurtz

    Chelsea (H) - Sat 28th Aug 2021 (5:30pm)

    Hasselbaink in talking absolute fucking shite shocker. Apparently it was James' knee that made him handball it. Hahah. Alright then Jimmy.
  13. Redder Lurtz

    Chelsea (H) - Sat 28th Aug 2021 (5:30pm)

    Tuchel doing his Guardiola tribute there. "It's too much" three times. Shut up and deal with it you fucking whiff.
  14. Proper enjoying these podcasts. Thanks lads.
  15. Redder Lurtz

    The Garth Crooks Wisdom Thread

    Fucking loony. Jordan Henderson: Have Liverpool lost their mind? They have allowed Georginio Wijnaldum to leave Anfield and surely they can't be contemplating the same thing happening with Henderson. The Liverpool captain was back in the side against Burnley and dictating play in the middle of the park like Andre Previn used to conduct the London Symphony Orchestra. Henderson was at his commanding best. As for Jurgen Klopp complaining about the game going back 10-15 years and calling on the Premier League to protect players by rethinking the rule changes, is he serious? The concern for the health and safety of players has never been higher.
  16. Redder Lurtz


    Anyhoo, my Dad's scans found that the cancer is only in his pancreas and hasn't spread. Therefore they could operate and remove the tumor. Thing is, he's 81, it's an 8 hour op, and he would likely spend the next 18 months in and out of hospital having other surgery so he's declined the op. He starts chemo next week and he could go for 5 months or 5 years. He's just not prepared to spend the next 18 months in a hospital bed. I totally agree with his decision. As some of you cunts know I live in Leeds and my folks are in Devon. Not ideal for this situation but I went and visited yesterday and I'll be doing so every 3 weeks or so. Nothing else I can do. He's a proper old school Birkenhead tough lad and he's very pragmatic about it. I've always said if I could be half the man my Dad is I'd be very proud of myself. So it's in the lap of destiny now and we'll see how it goes. Posting this here because it's cathartic; I've known some of you on here for well over a decade and I know some of you GF nobheads will get it. Bit pissed. Thanks for listening x
  17. Redder Lurtz

    "The proof is in the pudding"

    No, you fucking retards. "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" you mongs. And while I'm at it, no fucker is "chomping" at the bit, they're "champing". Wankers.
  18. Redder Lurtz

    TLW members on Twitter

    I'm following a bunch of you but can't keep up with who's who apart from the obvious ones so do us a favour - add yourselves here if you're there. If that makes sense: @twittterbastard - Redder Lurtz
  19. Redder Lurtz

    What's the best single thing to put on buttered toast?

    Jesus christ. Ketchup on scrambled eggs should be punishable by death
  20. Redder Lurtz

    RIP Gazelle

    Fucking hell. I joined in 2008 when I was in a bad, bad place and a proper dickhead on here. She was one of the posters I always had a lot of respect for. Horrible news. RIP girl. X
  21. Redder Lurtz


    I've been in The Crown. Now in The Silver Lady. No real ale anywhere but on the plus side nobody's punched me yet.