The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[YorkshireRed]

There was a piece on the local news about the post Leeds Festival clean up operation.

 

I was appalled at the amount of crap just abandoned for others to remove. 
 

Here’s me, recycling my plastic for the benefit of their generation and their children’s generation and they can’t even be arsed to take their drug paraphernalia home. 
 

Or their tents. 
 

That they probably had sex in with other young, nubile types. 
 

Whilst off their faces. 
 

Having the time of their lives.

 

Selfish cunts. 

[Stouffer]

How long to kids go in the shower for, I know they stink but bloody hell.

[Harry Squatter]

Turned into my Dad yesterday. My niece turned up out of the blue and was chatting utter shit to my Mrs and daughter in the living room. 

 

Even though she is in her mid 20s she still acts like a 14 year old with her school type banter, talking about kids tv shows, using Snapchat filters on all her photos and just generally acting like an unfunny tit trying to wind my daughter up. 

 

She's been sacked or left every job she's had since school and just generally treats life like a joke with no consequences. After 20 odd minutes of her babbling on I just had a go at her telling her to fucking grow up and act her age rather than a dickhead kid on a Disney TV program. Immediately I felt like my Dad but the only difference is he used to say it to me when I was 13 or 14 and not in my mid 20s still sponging off him. 

[Creator Supreme]

11 hours ago, Stouffer said:

How long to kids go in the shower for, I know they stink but bloody hell.

Half an hour my lad takes! I wouldn't mind but when he gets out he dresses like a scruffy cunt anyway.

[YorkshireRed]

21 hours ago, Stouffer said:

How long to kids go in the shower for, I know they stink but bloody hell.

My seventeen year old takes a 20 min shower in the morning and a 30 min one at night. God alone knows what he’s doing in there…

 

He’s probably masturbating isn’t he.

[dockers_strike]

6 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

My seventeen year old takes a 20 min shower in the morning and a 30 min one at night. God alone knows what he’s doing in there…

 

He’s probably masturbating isn’t he.

Haha! Been there, had that. I think they just stand in the shower and run off all the hot water unless you have a combi in which case they use shitloads of gas!

[Bjornebye]

16 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Turned into my Dad yesterday. My niece turned up out of the blue and was chatting utter shit to my Mrs and daughter in the living room. 

 

Even though she is in her mid 20s she still acts like a 14 year old with her school type banter, talking about kids tv shows, using Snapchat filters on all her photos and just generally acting like an unfunny tit trying to wind my daughter up. 

 

She's been sacked or left every job she's had since school and just generally treats life like a joke with no consequences. After 20 odd minutes of her babbling on I just had a go at her telling her to fucking grow up and act her age rather than a dickhead kid on a Disney TV program. Immediately I felt like my Dad but the only difference is he used to say it to me when I was 13 or 14 and not in my mid 20s still sponging off him. 

 

 

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

My seventeen year old takes a 20 min shower in the morning and a 30 min one at night. God alone knows what he’s doing in there…

 

He’s probably masturbating isn’t he.

Be careful if you get in after him. You might slip in it and break your hip.

[Bob]

Went to slam dunk this weekend in Leeds, absolutely awesome day of getting pissed, watching live music for the first time since all this shit started and generally having a lovely time.

 

for the last two bands of the day though, my back had gone. Oof.

[Harry Squatter]

5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

She wouldn't be interested in you. Trust me. 

[Bjornebye]

28 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

She wouldn't be interested in you. Trust me. 

I wouldn't be interested in her either, I was just posting a sleazy gif for laughs mate. 

[Section_31]

Engaging in tactical perving. You're now at an age where looking at women under 30/35 would be largely regarded as inappropriate/horrifying, so measures have to be taken. 

 

The other day there was some bird up the ladder rearranging some clobber in JD Sports, I clocked her instantly on the way in and had to think on my feet, so I gradually circumnavigated some of the displays of trainers and what not so I could get a good view of her buttocks up the ladder on my way back out.

 

It was like when they used to plot slingshot courses for the voyager probe, it took years, but it got there. 

[lifetime fan]

6 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

My seventeen year old takes a 20 min shower in the morning and a 30 min one at night. God alone knows what he’s doing in there…

 

He’s probably masturbating isn’t he.

The 11 year old sits down on the floor of the shower with his phone on the crapper and watches shite youtube videos. He’s in there at least an hour. 
 

The 9 year old has an allergy to soap I swear. 

[Chairman Meow]

8 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

My seventeen year old takes a 20 min shower in the morning and a 30 min one at night. God alone knows what he’s doing in there…

 

He’s probably masturbating isn’t he.

You live next door to hot lesbians. 

 

I'm surprised he's not in there significantly longer. 

[lifetime fan]

8 minutes ago, Chairman Meow said:

You live next door to hot lesbians. 

 

I'm surprised he's not in there significantly longer. 

At 17 it took me seconds not 20 minutes. 

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, Chairman Meow said:

You live next door to hot lesbians. 

 

I'm surprised he's not in there significantly longer. 

Yeah why would it take longer? Unless he sets aside a spaffage for each one so unleashes his gunk in 45 seconds, reloads after 5 and then goes for a tougher 2nd course with the use of some soap. 

[Captain Howdy]

9 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Yeah why would it take longer? Unless he sets aside a spaffage for each one so unleashes his gunk in 45 seconds, reloads after 5 and then goes for a tougher 2nd course with the use of some soap

 

[Harry Squatter]

5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I wouldn't be interested in her either, I was just posting a sleazy gif for laughs mate. 

Not just you. All men if you know what I mean.

[stringvest]

14 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Engaging in tactical perving. You're now at an age where looking at women under 30/35 would be largely regarded as inappropriate/horrifying, so measures have to be taken. 

 

The other day there was some bird up the ladder rearranging some clobber in JD Sports, I clocked her instantly on the way in and had to think on my feet, so I gradually circumnavigated some of the displays of trainers and what not so I could get a good view of her buttocks up the ladder on my way back out.

 

It was like when they used to plot slingshot courses for the voyager probe, it took years, but it got there. 

Mingeshot

[Bjornebye]

9 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Not just you. All men if you know what I mean.

 

[Section_31]

6 hours ago, stringvest said:

Mingeshot

To the poon and back.

 

[General Dryness]

41 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

To the poon and back.

 

Heranus.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Voyager? I hardly know her.

[Section_31]

Jodrell wank 

[Vincent Vega]

Where did my life go? I was 21 when I first heard this ffs.