The UKs Roughest Cities

[Elmyn Noos]

There once was forumite called Tom

Whose limericks only had four lines

They didn't rhyme either

How stupid is that?

[RJ Fan club]

Brimingham goes top of my shit list, infact the Midlands in general.

 

I studied there for four years, lost count of how many people I knew who got mugged, two of the lads got stabbed, me and the lads stopped a rape in progress in the middle of the city centre at about 6pm in the evening, there was a siege at the end of our road in second year and one lad got held up on a bus with a dirty needle.... (I could probably go on)

 

Also I'm proud to tell every southerner I meet that I had to move down south to become a victim of crime (when some twat robbed a hubcap off my motor in Exeter)

[Hermes]

There once were two pricks from Leeds

A pair of twats with special needs

They were useless at composing

Spent most afternoons dozing

Lack of ingenuity doesn't help, it impedes

[Elmyn Noos]

A wise man did once rightly say

That Hermes is quite clearly gay

A fat cock he smokes

Whilst penning lame jokes

As his arse dribbles spunk all day

[redrosetints]

So does LImerick win then ?

 

And where was Milton Keynes in the survey ? I mean, its the roughty toughty centre of the universe.

[Tom R]

There once was forumite called Tom

Whose limericks only had four lines

They didn't rhyme either

How stupid is that?

 

 

Great work.

[rondeco]

I'm laughing my sides open with the limericks being posted.!!

[Paul]

South Central Oxton is bad. We've just had a neighbour round complaining about the kids who hang about outside the offy and piss in the alley, and asking us to join a Neighbourhood Watch scheme.

[Hermes]

South Central Oxton is bad. We've just had a neighbour round complaining about the kids who hang about outside the offy and piss in the alley, and asking us to join a Neighbourhood Watch scheme.

 

You're joking? who wants to watch people pissing in an alley?

[The Chief]

i get the impression that i would be likely to get mugged or have my car stolen in most places in England, this is just the impression that i get from hearing people talk and reading the news etc etc.

Is this a fare view? is it a dangerous place in general?

I feel very safe pretty much anywhere in Aus especially in WA i feel like i could walk down any street without even a concern about getting mugged.

 

Ever been to Queensland mate? When i was there last year the abos were fucking crazy, they're mostly petrol heads (sniffing it, i mean) they didn't like us "Pommy cants, i'll fucking kill yer"! But to be fair when we got to Sydney and Perth they were like completely different people.

As for England the worst, most depressing place i've been was Stoke on Trent, the arsehole of the universe.

[Section_31]

i get the impression that i would be likely to get mugged or have my car stolen in most places in England, this is just the impression that i get from hearing people talk and reading the news etc etc.

Is this a fare view? is it a dangerous place in general?

I feel very safe pretty much anywhere in Aus especially in WA i feel like i could walk down any street without even a concern about getting mugged.

 

Try walking round Alice Springs with a bottle of J&B under your arm and see how long it takes you to get mugged

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

Nottingham is the worst place I've been, and I'm from Hull.

 

Hull is fucking great, is the Polar Bear ale house on Spring Bank still open ?

In all the places Ive ever been out on the lash, Ive never seen another drinker called the Polar Bear, even in Alaska.....:yes:

[Carradona]

Noos and Hermes, top marks for those Limericks.

[Unrighteous]

Brilliant Limericks... Haha.

[NIred1]

Living just outside belfast i would consider there to be pretty dodgy.

 

1. two of my mates were beat around the head with hammers

2. other mate was beatin up on his 19th birthdy and sliced with glass

 

its usually no to bad is belfast but when they are angry they tend to go to town on it really. (funny thing happened, a bunch of 14 yr olds tried to throw my mate off a bridge, was funny cos they couldnt lift him and he stood there laughin and calling them faggots- it was the bridge round the back of the waterfront fro any locals)

 

Liverpool was a bit rough too, on my way to a match in 98, i was 11 with me dad and uncle, and a bunch of scallies came up and tried to start on me for some reason, like fully tryin to hit me and that, good job i was nippy back then, and only pissed off when my uncle screamed at one of them in his birkenhead twang (their faces were priceless).

 

also stayed somewhere in bootle on time, at my mates cousins as a stop off on our way to france. left at 6 in the mornin, drivin down the street only to see this fella with no top on, blood pissing down his face with a 2x4 screamin at some house and being withstrained by about 5 ppl. seriuously not something i wanted to see hungover at that time in the morning:ermm:

[Victor Ganges]

being withstrained by about 5 ppl.

Withheld or restrained? I like it when to synonyms are joined by mistake. I can't for the life of me think of where I've seen it befreviously though.

 

Oh and Belfast is relatively quiet these days.

[firemarshall]

I agree with Kelster, its got to be Birkenhead, its fucking lawless that place, I`ve been to most of the places on the list and the only place we had any hassle was Nottingham but as a rule I thought it was alright there.

[Stu Monty]

When did Birkenhead become a city?

[firemarshall]

when did Alice Springs become a part of the UK?

[scrub]

You should head up Big Tyke's area, wouldn't last a minute. What d'you think Tykie balls?

[redrosetints]

There once named a man called Noos,

Who walked naked around his Hoos,

One day he bent over,

for his pet dog rover,

and now his hole is all loose.

[lifetime fan]

Couldn’t find the shit towns thread...

 

Went out on the piss in Ebbw Vale last night, what a shithole. 

 

Beer was cheap though. 

[Bjornebye]

Colin our own forumite

Decided that Bristol was shite

So he went to Ebbw Vale

And got pissed up on Ale

Now his arsehole looks like its been in a fight 

[Karl_b]

Great opportunity to neg Hermes, this thread.

[Hand Shandy]

What the fuck were you doing in Ebbw Vale?

 

Oh wait, I know the answer to this - anything to do with a decent pair of tits perchance?