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About Hermes

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  1. Hermes

    Labour Leadership Contest

    Whose bright idea was it to have Gordon Brown calling for unity in the party against a background of two carousels spinning in opposite directions. Sums his party up perfectly.
  2. Hermes

    Should Mario stay or should he go

    Ron Atkinson was 11 years ahead of his time.
  3. Guaranteed way to reduce blood pressure, clinically proven. Die.
  4. I used to drink about 50 pints a week. My GP told me to reduce my alcohol consumption. At my 3 month review I told him I had reduced my alcohol consumption by half. He was delighted and tested my BP and found no difference. I said "I don't get it. I'm drinking 49 and half pints per week, what other sacrifices can I make to reduce it". He said "The best thing you can do is cut alcohol completely, don't smoke, no meat, and run 10 miles a day". I said "What's the second best?"
  5. Hermes

    Labour Leadership Contest

    I was wrong about Corbyn. I thought he was as big a clown as Tony Benn. His decision to renege on commitment to clause IV proves he isn't.
  6. Hermes

    Labour Leadership Contest

    I see another socialist country is on the verge of collapse, there isn't even enough toilet paper to wipe their arses in Venezuela.
  7. Hermes

    Top Ten Conspiracy Theories

    Ah, so they were told to have no truck with him?
  8. Hermes

    Top Ten Conspiracy Theories

    The copper spent all of the lorry driver's money?
  9. Hermes


    A fireman requested a satellite dish to be installed on the roof of his workplace. His boss refused, saying "You are getting ideas above your station".
  10. Hermes

    Top Ten Conspiracy Theories

    Wow. I wouldn't have believed that there was so many gullible cranks in the world, never mind posting in a single thread.
  11. Hermes

    Cilla Black has died..

    Her last words were "Something tells me something's going to happen tonight".
  12. Hermes

    Labour Leadership Contest

    The Titanic would be appropriate in more ways than one.
  13. Hermes

    This business in Calais

    Take them in and send our fake homeless to their countries.
  14. Hermes

    This business in Calais

    Can we exchange them for the work shy British? A win win situation.