The world of a woman.

[Bobby Hundreds]

I scraped my missus Alloy wheels on the curb today something I've never done in my life, she said is this payback for me scraping yours years ago. Yes I'm that fucking petty and play the long game and today the 26th of May 2021 for no specific reason at all I decided it was the time for retribution.

 

I am pretty livid with myself though.

[Stouffer]

Mrs Stouffer didn't realise that Moët was pronounced as Moët, she always said Moët.

 

How we laughed. 

[VladimirIlyich]

On 26/05/2021 at 18:56, Bobby Hundreds said:

I scraped my missus Alloy wheels on the curb today something I've never done in my life, she said is this payback for me scraping yours years ago. Yes I'm that fucking petty and play the long game and today the 26th of May 2021 for no specific reason at all I decided it was the time for retribution.

 

I am pretty livid with myself though.

I had no idea this was F****all on the GF.

[deiseach]

On 26/05/2021 at 00:36, Josef Svejk said:

What I can't abide is her attempts to "clean up" the kitchen by dumping everything in the sink and clogging the fucking thing up. So when it comes to filling the dishwasher, I first have to remove everything from the sink so I can rinse the dishes.

Christ, yes. Is it a height thing, i.e. they can't see the dishes unless they are standing right over the sink but we see the clusterfuck within as soon as we walk into the kitchen? See also: they are closer to the dust whereas it has to be at Sahara-levels before we'll think about reaching for the Pledge.

[tokyojoe]

Her Indoors is fucking briiliant at losing things. I went to my electrical toolbox to get a screwdriver to find that not only both are missing but so are half of the contents. She takes things out for one of her little 'projects' and doesn't put them away properly. The'll be lying around somewhere in the house.

 

 

 

 

 

Somewhere.....

[Rico1304]

We had a big screen in the back garden for the footy yesterday. I’ve just said the wife that if the guy hasnt come to collect it I’ll watch the Scotland game out there today. Straight away she says ‘you can pick Izzy up

from school’. Why is the first reaction to someone enjoying themselves ‘can’t have that, must get in the way’? 

[Mudface]

16 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

We had a big screen in the back garden for the footy yesterday. I’ve just said the wife that if the guy hasnt come to collect it I’ll watch the Scotland game out there today. Straight away she says ‘you can pick Izzy up

from school’. Why is the first reaction to someone enjoying themselves ‘can’t have that, must get in the way’? 

Yep, I get exactly the same. The last English Bank Holiday wasn't also one in Scotland so I was off but my missus wasn't. You'd think she was my line manager the way she started drawing up plans for me to not enjoy myself.

[Mook]

I was told this morning that I did 'nothing' yesterday, while she painted our front door.

 

Some of the things I did yesterday...

 

3hrs of overtime

Went to Tesco to get some shopping

Took a load of stuff to the skip

Tidied the garden & cut the grass

Tidied up the mess in the kitchen

Went out and paid for our share her Mum's birthday meal

 

Watching the odd bit of Football clearly means that none of this counts as doing anything.

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Rico1304 said:

We had a big screen in the back garden for the footy yesterday. I’ve just said the wife that if the guy hasnt come to collect it I’ll watch the Scotland game out there today. Straight away she says ‘you can pick Izzy up

from school’. Why is the first reaction to someone enjoying themselves ‘can’t have that, must get in the way’? 

I mentioned to my missus that when I drop her off at her job at the Asda I will pop in and get the shopping very quickly as the Scotland match is on. Quick as a flash she says 'Oh my god,I wish I had your life.'

[Chairman Meow]

35 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I mentioned to my missus that when I drop her off at her job at the Asda I will pop in and get the shopping very quickly as the Scotland match is on. Quick as a flash she says 'Oh my god,I wish I had your life.'

I've had similar from a number of exes as a result of being self employed, "it's OK for you, you can do whatever you want all day". You know, because being self employed means you can just slack off and the money keeps rolling in. 

[manwiththestick]

Yep, mine is jealous with my "easy life" because I have been sat working from home in our box room since early last February and moans that I'm not tidying the house or garden or other tasks that she has to sort when she gets in.

[YorkshireRed]

After thirty years of moaning at my dad for golfing on his half day off, my mum eventually decided to take up the sport herself. 
 

Every time the wife complains that I haven’t emptied the bins I remind her of this. 
 

If the pattern repeats, in nine years I’ll be on easy street. 
 

Or divorced…

[Paulie Dangerously]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

After thirty years of moaning at my dad for golfing on his half day off, my mum eventually decided to take up the sport herself. 
 

Every time the wife complains that I haven’t emptied the bins I remind her of this. 
 

If the pattern repeats, in nine years I’ll be on easy street. 
 

Or divorced…

Your dad must be gutted. 

[Section_31]

Both my wife and my mum do this. When they're a passenger in the car, they wait until you pull up, turn the engine off, open your door and are about to get out before initiating a long conversation.

[tokyojoe]

What amazes me is their inability to end a telephone conversation.

Bye then

Oh did you hear about 

No

Oooh etc etc

 

Bye then

Oh I must tell you

 

 

Rinse and repeat.

[Bjornebye]

My bird thought Scotland were playing in Camden last night until I walked in the room and told her he said Hampden. 

[lifetime fan]

Pouring myself a drink last night;

 

Her: Has that gin gone off?

Me: What? 
Her: The gin has it gone off, it’s the wrong colour.

Me: For fucks sake woman. It’s Bombay Sapphire, the bottle is blue not the bloody gin!

 

She’s a food and beverage manager, sells it in work and has watched me drinking it for bloody ages. 

[littletedwest]

She's in a mood today because her son was a twat to her in a dream. He's done nothing in real life like 

[Strontium]

Mine asked me what a suspended sentence was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She has a degree in law.

[Dr Nowt]

35 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

She's in a mood today because her son was a twat to her in a dream. He's done nothing in real life like 

Recent ex used to pull this shit on a regular basis, which is why she’s now an ex. She failed to remember telling me whenever she had dreams about things like her students coming round the flat and calling her a cunt, so whenever she tried it on I used to ask her if she goes in and kicks off at her students when she’s had a dream they’ve been rude to her. Now I can’t read sign language, but I do know that her immediately getting a mouth like a dog’s arsehole means the answer to that one was no, no she didn’t. Happy times as we then worked our way to the next logical step in my point, with the use of sexual swearwords.

[YorkshireRed]

I’m going to my mate's 50th on Sat. It’s a party at his house. An all day affair that will undoubtedly get a bit messy. The wife’s known about it for ages, hates anything like this and usually wants to leave early. Would much rather spend the day gardening than drinking. 
 

I told her yesterday that, if she didn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to. I’d be fine to go on my own.

 

She’s barely spoken to me since. I can tell she’s seething and just waiting for me to say something so she can explode. 
 

Fuck that, I’m avoiding her until the party’s over. I find this tactic much more preferable to open communication.  

[Chairman Meow]

1 hour ago, Strontium Dog™ said:

Mine asked me what a suspended sentence was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She has a degree in law.

 

Tell her it means hanging. 

[Remmie]

Tell her it means having to wear suspenders on their first day 

[Dr Nowt]

Don’t tell her for a while, but keep making out you’re just about to reveal it.

[littletedwest]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m going to my mate's 50th on Sat. It’s a party at his house. An all day affair that will undoubtedly get a bit messy. The wife’s known about it for ages, hates anything like this and usually wants to leave early. Would much rather spend the day gardening than drinking. 
 

I told her yesterday that, if she didn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to. I’d be fine to go on my own.

 

She’s barely spoken to me since. I can tell she’s seething and just waiting for me to say something so she can explode. 
 

Fuck that, I’m avoiding her until the party’s over. I find this tactic much more preferable to open communication.  

My mates are going watching races on 3rd July. I couldnt afford it, but they are going pub after. They've booked two tables in pub and there are a few places spare. Told her,  "maybe I can come" . No I'd rather not go at all